RNC Young Voters Survey

  • Aired:  04/03/13
  •  | Views: 43,502

The Republican Party's SurveyMonkey survey addresses young voters' love of diversity and how to come out of the closet. (4:16)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

THANKS SO MUCH YOUNG NATION, YOU KNOW I GET YOU, WITH YOUR VINE-ING AND YOUR VAMPIRE DIARIES AND YOUR LINCOLN LOGS.

[LAUGHTER]

AND IT'S IMPORTANT THAT I GET YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IMPORTANT DEMOGRAPHIC.

THE LAST ELECTION PROVED THAT IF THEY'RE EVER GONNA WIN AGAIN, THE GOP NEEDS TO CAPTURE THE

YOUTH VOTE.

FEAR NOT, REPUBLICANS ARE ON IT.

JUST THIS WEEK, THEY OFFERED YOUNGSTERS THE ONE THING THEY SIMPLY CAN'T RESIST:

A SURVEY!

[LAUGHTER]

YOU HEAR THAT, KIDS?

IT'S LIKE THE S.A.T., BUT FOR FUN, DAWG!

[LAUGHTER]

AND YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT MESSING AROUND WITH THIS SURVEY, BECAUSE IT'S HOSTED BY surveymonkey.com,

AMERICA'S MOST TRUSTED SIMIAN DATA-COLLECTION SERVICE.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, THIS SURVEY IS PRECISELY TARGETED AT YOUTHS ONLY, BECAUSE IT CLEARLY STATES:

"PLEASE DO 'NOT' TAKE THIS SURVEY IF YOU ARE 30 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER." ALL RIGHT THEN.

HERE I GO.

[LAUGHTER]

AND LET ME TELL YOU: SOME OF THE QUESTIONS ON THIS BAD BOY ARE TOTES MAD POPPIN' FRESH.

[LAUGHTER]

SUCH AS NUMERO THIRTY-SIXO, WHICH ADDRESSES YOUNG VOTERS' LOVE OF DIVERSITY.

ASKING, "DO YOU THINK THAT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY DISCRIMINATES AGAINST PEOPLE?

IF SO, WHICH PEOPLE?"

[LAUGHTER]

WITH OPTIONS INCLUDING AFRICAN AMERICANS, WHITE PEOPLE, LATINOS, ASIANS, GAYS AND LESBIANS.

OR: THE REPUBLICAN PARTY DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ANYONE" THAT'S EASY THE ANSWER IS THE

G.O.P. DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ANYONE.

LEAST OF ALL WHITE PEOPLE, WHO ARE THE ONLY OPTION THE SURVEY REFERS TO AS PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MAKES IT EASY.

BUT MY PERSONAL FAVO-RAVE IS QUESTION THIRTY-EIGHT: "WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?"

"STRAIGHT, GAY, BISEXUAL OR IN THE CLOSET"?

[LAUGHTER]

YES, IN THE CLOSET.

BECAUSE IF YOU'RE A YOUNG PERSON STRUGGLING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY, THERE'S NO SAFER PLACE TO COME

OUT THAN ON A REPUBLICAN SURVEY.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

DON'T WORRY, THESE CONSERVATIVES WILL NEVER JUDGE YOU.

EXCEPT FOR THESE CONSERVATIVE JUDGES.

[LAUGHTER]

AND I FOR ONE AM GLAD TO SEE THE GOP BEING SO INCLUSIVE.

WHO AMONG US HASN'T HAD A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER COME OUT AS "IN THE CLOSET"?

[LAUGHTER]

OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE IN "THE CLOSET", YOU SHOULDN'T CLICK "IN THE CLOSET", BECAUSE THEN YOU'LL

BE "OUT OF THE CLOSET" WHICH MEANS, IF YOU DIDN'T CHECK THAT BOX MESSAGE RECEIVED.

POINT IS, THE GOP IS ON YOUR SIDE CLOSETED NATION!

YOU CAN BE PROUD AND OUT ABOUT BEING ASHAMED AND IN!

[LAUGHTER]

JUST GET OUT THERE AND LET THE WORLD KNOW, WE'RE HERE, WE'RE IN DENIAL, DALE IS MY ROOMMATE!

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SO IF YOU'RE UNDER 30, I URGE YOU TO JOIN THE GOP'S YOUTH MOVEMENT AND TAKE THIS RAD

SURVEY AT THE EXTREEEEEME-LY MEMORABLE WEB ADDRESS: Www.surveymonkey.com/s/8pxhd8y

REMEMBER, THAT "Y" STANDS FOR YOLO, WHICH IS PROBABLY SOMETHING IN SPANISH.

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T KNOW.

WE HAVEN'T REACHED OUT TO

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