RNC Autopsy

  • Aired:  02/12/13
  •  | Views: 15,249

Republicans hold a conference to assess election losses, but RNC Chair Reince Priebus thinks the GOP just needs to smile more. (4:31)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

COME ON!

[CROWD CHANTING STEPHEN]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

WELCOME TO THE BROADCAST.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT.

YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THIS SHOW WITHOUT YOU.

THIS SHOW IS FOR YOU.

THIS SHOW IS TO LOOK OUT FOR WHAT IS COMING IN YOUR LIFE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND, FOLKS, TONIGHT I GOT YOUR BACK, FOLKS.

AS YOU KNOW, TONIGHT TONIGHT BARACK-HUSSEIN OBAMA GETS TO GIVE HIS ANNUAL "LOOK AT ME, I'M

THE PRESIDENT" SPEECH.

LOP-A-DOOPA DOO!

LOP-A-DOOPA DOO!

[LAUGHTER]

ALL THIS STUFF?

IT'S NOT EVEN IN THE CONSTITUTION.

[LAUGHTER]

OBAMA SHOULDN'T EVEN BE UP THERE GIVINGING THE SPEECH.

2012 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOP'S YEAR: WITH THE ECONOMY IN SHAMBLES, THEY THOUGHT THE RACE

WAS THEIRS TO LOSE.

AND THEY WERE RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

AND IT'S NOT JUST THE PRESIDENCY.

THE REPUBLICANS ALSO LOST SEATS IN THE SENATE.

LOST THE POPULAR VOTE IN THE HOUSE.

AND BRIEFLY LOST PAUL RYAN IN THE MALL.

[LAUGHTER]

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HOLD ON TO HIS MOTHER'S HAND!

[LAUGHTER]

THEY FOUND HIM BUSTING A UNION AT THE BUILD-A-BEAR WORKSHOP.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT FOLKS, THE RNC, THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE, IS DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

>> THE RNC IS DOING A MAJOR AUTOPSY ON 2012.

>> THE RNC IS COMING UP WITH SOME TYPE OF AUTOPSY OF THE LAST ELECTION.

>> YOU'VE GOT TO DO A FULL AUTOPSY.

>> Stephen: YES, A FULL AUTOPSY.

WHICH IS ALSO THE REPUBLICAN ALTERNATIVE TO OBAMACARE.

[LAUGHTER]

TO PLOT THEIR PATH BACK TO POWER, THE GOP RECENTLY HELD A THREE-DAY CONFERENCE IN

WILLIAMSBURG, VIRGINIA, WHICH IS THE PERFECT LOCATION, BECAUSE THE REPUBLICAN PLATFORM ALSO

RE-ENACTS THE 18TH CENTURY.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY SAY THEY WENT THERE FOR A LITTLE SELF-REFLECTION EXACTLY WHAT MEN INSPIRED BY AYN RAND

NEED-- MORE TIME THINKING ABOUT THEMSELVES.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY ALSO REACHED OUT TO VOTERS, WITH A WEB-SURVEY ASKING HOW THEY CAN IMPROVE THEIR MESSAGING.

AND A COMPUTERIZED WEB SURVEY IS THE PERFECT WAY TO HEAR FROM REPUBLICANS' CORE CONSTITUENCY

OF THE EXTREMELY OLD.

LATCH LAUGH THE NUMBER ONE SUGGESTION WAS, "HELLO? HELLO? HOW DOES THIS THING MAKE TOAST?"

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND AFTER THAT, THE GOP CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS AND FIGURED OUT WHAT THEY NEED TO CHANGE ABOUT THEIR

VIEWS TOWARD WOMEN, IMMIGRATION, AND TAX CUTS FOR THE RICH.

AND THE ANSWER WAS-- I HAVE IT "NOTHING." IT'S A BLANK SHEET OF PAPER.

THERE'S NOTHING ON HERE YOU SEE.

ACCORDING TO RNC CHAIR REINCE PRIEBUS-- FUN FACT, HIS NAME IS AN ANAGRAM FOR PENIS

RICE-A-RONI--

[LAUGHTER]

THE GOP DOESN'T NEED TO CHANGE ON THE ISSUES, THEY JUST NEED TO BE A PARTY THAT SMILES.

[LAUGHTER]

YES, THEY JUST NEED TO SMILE.

PRESENT THE SAME CORE MESSAGE BUT IN A MORE PLEASANT MANNER.

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW IT WORKS WITH ONE OF THEIR MISUNDERSTOOD TALKING POINTS FROM THE LAST ELECTION.

[LAUGHTER]

"IF IT'S A LEGITIMATE RAPE, THE FEMALE BODY HAS WAYS TO TRY TO SHUT THAT WHOLE THING DOWN."

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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