Canada's Currency Coup

  • Aired:  04/24/12
  •  | Views: 19,031

The Royal Canadian Mint seeks world currency status and develops the first glow-in-the-dark coin. (3:26)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NATION, THE U.S. DOLLAR REMAINS THE GLOBAL CURRENCY STANDARD.

YOU CAN USE IT ALL OVER THE WORLD FROM BUYING SUSHI IN TOKYO TO PROSTITUTES IN CARTAGENA.

[LAUGHTER]

THERE ARE NO CHALLENGERS TO AMERICA'S CURRENCY DOMINATION.

UNTIL NOW.

>> SINCE ICELAND'S UNANIMOUS,

COLLAPSE IN 2008, THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF DISCUSSIONS ABOUT WHETHER THE COUNTRY SHOULD STICK

WITH THE ICELANDIC KRONA OR ADOPT ANOTHER COUNTRY'S CURRENCY.

ICELAND IS CONSIDERING DOCUMENTING THE CANADIAN LOONIE AS IT'S OFFICIAL CURRENCY.

>> Stephen: NATION, I HAVE NEVER TRUSTED OUR HEALTH CARE-ADDICTED NEMESIS TO THE NORTH.

THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE OUR STUFF THEIR STUFF.

CANADIAN BACON, CANADIAN BEER,

CANADIAN BASEBALL.

AND NOW, NOW THEY'RE ANGLING FOR A CANADIAN GLOBAL CURRENCY.

EVERYONE KNOWS GEORGE WASHINGTON SHOULD BE THE ONLY ICON RECOGNIZED BY THE WORLD'S

MARKET, NOT CANADA'S FIRST PRESIDENT, FEATHERFORD B. LOON.

ICELAND, YOU MUST RESIST THE PRESSURE FROM CANADA'S CHARISMATIC STRONG MAN QUEEN ELIZABETH II.

HANDSOME WOMAN.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR OWN CURRENCY, THE KRONA?

YIKES.

[LAUGHTER]

I'VE NEVER PLAYED THAT BOARD GAME.

BUT, FOLKS, THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF CANADA'S CURRENCY COUP.

>> THE FIRST DINOSAUR FOSSIL DISCOVERED IN ALBERTA'S PEACE COUNTRY IS GETTING A COOL NEW

IMAN ON A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK QUARTER TO BE RELEASED BY THE CANADIAN MINTING.

>> THE COIN ITSELF IS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE FIRST GLOW-IN-THE-DARK COIN.

AND ONCE THE COIN HAS BEEN EXPOSED TO LIGHT FOR 20, 30 SECONDS, IF ONE TAKES IT INTO A

DARK PLACE, ALL OF A SUDDEN THE SKELETON BEGINS TO GLOW.

>> Stephen: WHAT?

WHAT!

HOLD ON.

HOW DOES GLOW IN THE DARK WORK AGAIN?

>> ONCE THE COIN HAS BEEN EXPOSED TO LIGHT FOR 20, 30 SECONDS...

>> Stephen: OKAY.

20 TO 30 SECONDS.

GO ON.

>> IF ONE TAKES IT INTO A DARK PLACE...

>> Stephen: OKAY.

DARK PLACE.

I ALWAYS FORGET THAT PART.

AND THEN?

>> THE SKELETON BEGINS TO GLOW.

>> Stephen: WHAT!

GLOW-IN-THE-DARK QUARTERS?

I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL CHIP AND SCOTT ABOUT THIS.

MAYBE IF WE ASK OUR MOMS SHE'LL DRIVE US TO ONTARIO THIS SUMMER AND WE CAN GET SOME.

I'M SO EXCITED.

FOLKS, FOLKS, FOLKS, CANADA'S COMING AFTER OUR YOUNG PEOPLE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY'RE GOING TO PREFER, A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK DINO QUARTER OR A CREEPY QUARTER

WITH A GUY ON IT?

WE MUST FIGHT THIS BEFORE WE LOSE A GENERATION OF YOUNG AMERICANS TO THE SCOURGE OF

CANADIAN POLITENESS.

U.S. MINT, GET TO WORK ON A SCRATCH-N-SNIFF DOLLAR OR MAYBE A 3-D DIME WHERE F.D.R.'S HEAD

TURNS TOWARDS YOU AND YELLS,

"DIE, NAZIS." AS FOR YOU, CANADA...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

CANADA, YOU KEEP YOUR DINE SOURS WHERE THEY BELONG, LIQUEFIED IN YOUR TAR SANDS AND PUMPED

DIRECTLY INTO OUR GAS TANKS.

WE'LL BE

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