Non-Racist KKK

  • Aired:  01/30/13
  •  | Views: 39,587

The new Ku Klux Klan spreads its positive message the way any open-minded group would: door to door in the dead of night. (4:49)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HEY, WELCOME BACK, AMERICA.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NATION, AMERICA HAS MADE GREAT STRIDES WHEN IT COMES TO RACE RELATIONS.

JUST TODAY I WATCHED ALMOST AN ENTIRE TYLER PERRY MOVIE BEFORE I REALIZED IT WAS ONE OF THOSE

MICHAEL JORDAN HANES COMMERCIALS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

STILL, WE'RE CLOSER TO THAT MOUNTAINTOP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT SOME PEOPLE JUST WON'T LET RACISM GO.

LIKE FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE COLIN POWELL.

>> I THINK THE REPUBLICAN PARTY RIGHT NOW IS HAVING AN IDENTITY PROBLEM.

THERE'S ALSO A DARK-- A DARK VEIN OF INTOLERANCE IN SOME PARTS OF THE PARTY.

WHAT DO I MEAN BY THAT?

I MEAN BY THAT IS THEY STILL SORT OF LOOK DOWN ON MINORITIES.

>> Stephen: HOW DARE COLIN POWELL CHARGE THE GOP WITH INTOLERANCE, WHEN IT IS THE

PARTY OF SUCH PROMINENT BLACK REPUBLICANS AS COLIN POWELL AND-- OTHERS, ONE IMAGINES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT THE DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT WE'RE IN A POST-RACIAL AMERICA IS THAT THE KU KLUX KLAN, MAYBE

THE GROUP MOST IDENTIFIED WITH RACISM-- AREN'T RACISTS ANYMORE!

JIM?

>> THE KU KLUX KLAN IS OUT TO CHANGE ITS IMAGE AND PROMOTE A NEW AGENDA.

>> THE KLAN SAYS IT'S NOW UNDER CHRISTIAN BASED LEADERSHIP, STRESSING THAT IT'S NOT A HATE

GROUP ANYMORE, BUT A GROUP THAT WANTS TO CALL ATTENTION TO ISSUES LIKE ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION

AND OUTSOURCING OF JOBS.

>> EVERYONE THINKS THAT WE'RE A HATE GROUP.

WE'RE NOT A HATE GROUP.

WE DON'T HATE ANYONE.

I MEAN, WE WANT TO SEE GOOD THINGS COME TO OUR RACE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Stephen: SEE?

THEY ARE NOT A HATE GROUP.

THEY JUST WANT TO SEE GOOD THINGS COME TO THEIR RACE-- THROUGH EYEHOLES CUT IN A PILLOWCASE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THIS NEW KKK IS SPREADING ITS POSITIVE MESSAGE THE WAY ANY OPEN-MINDED GROUP WOULD:

DOOR-TO-DOOR IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> PEOPLE IN NEWTON COUNTY WERE SHOCKED TO FIND FLYERS IN THEIR DRIVEWAY THIS WEEK URGING THEM

TO JOIN THE KU KLUX KLAN.

KLAN MEMBERS DISTRIBUTED FLYERS IN NEIGHBORHOODS ALL THE WAY FROM FLORIDA TO NEW YORK STATE.

>> FOR THE SECOND TIME IN TWO MONTHS, PEOPLE LIVING IN ONE PART OF CENTRAL VIRGINIA HAVE

WOKEN UP TO FIND LETTERS FROM THE KU KLUX KLAN IN THEIR DRIVEWAY.

THOSE FLYERS HAVE MANY IN THIS MECHANICSVILLE NEIGHBORHOOD FEELING UNEASY.

SOME, VIOLATED.

>> Stephen: NOW, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY FLYERS MIGHT UPSET PEOPLE.

BUT I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE, IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT THEY USED TO LEAVE ON PEOPLE'S LAWNS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND AGAIN, THIS AGGRESSIVE RECRUITMENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RACISM.

THE FACT THAT IT'S HAPPENING UNDER A BLACK PRESIDENT IS SIMPLY A COINCIDENCE.

IT COULD JUST AS EASILY HAVE BEEN A JEWISH PRESIDENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT SADLY, THERE'S A DARK CLOUD HANGING OVER THOSE WHITE HOODS.

BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER, IN THE LAST TWO YEARS "THE NUMBER

OF KKK CHAPTERS DROPPED FROM 221 TO 152." AND THIS COMES AT A TIME WHEN HATE GROUPS OVERALL ARE ENJOYING

TREMENDOUS GROWTH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AIN'T THAT A KICK IN THE ROBE?

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO WHY IS THE KKK's BRAND SUFFERING?

WELL, APPARENTLY, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE TOTALLY NOT RACIST ANYMORE, THOSE SHEETS BEAR SOME

KIND OF A STAIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ACCORDING TO THE SPLC's MARK POTOK, "THE KLAN IS HAVING TROUBLE WITH RECRUITMENT BECAUSE

THEY'RE MORE STIGMATIZED THAN OTHER HATE GROUPS, SUCH AS THE NEO-NAZIS."

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH.

THOSE KLAN ROBES HAVE A STIGMA, UNLIKE NAZI UNIFORMS, THOSE HAD STYLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

POINT IS, SAYING YOU'RE NOT A HATE GROUP JUST ISN'T ENOUGH.

NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO WIN ANY AWARDS FOR THIS-- AT LEAST NOT ANY I WOULD DISPLAY-- BUT I'VE

GOT A COUPLE HELPFUL HINTS TO HELP THE NON-RACIST KKK.

FIRST OF ALL, I KNOW THAT FLOWING ROBES ARE TRADITION, BUT IF YOU WANT TO REACH OUT TO

TODAY'S YOUNG, HIPSTER WHITE SUPREMACISTS, YOU'D DO BETTER WITH SKINNY JEANS AND IRONIC T-SHIRTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND I KNOW THE HOODS ARE PART OF THE HERITAGE, BUT IT MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ASHAMED.

WHY NOT WEAR YOUR KLAN AFFILIATION PROUDLY AND TRANSPARENTLY BY PUTTING ON A CLEAR HOOD?

[ LAUGHTER ]

JUST SLIP A DRY-CLEANING BAG OVER YOUR HEAD, AND KEEP IT IN PLACE WITH A RUBBER BAND AROUND

YOUR NECK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, THAT'S A GREAT NEW LOOK-- THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE GOING

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