Intro - 4/16/13

  • Aired:  04/16/13
  •  | Views: 931,932

What the Boston Marathon terrorists really don't get is that they attacked an unshakable group of people who run 26 miles until their nipples are raw on their day off. (2:08)

>> Colbert: TONIGHT!

HEY, LOOK, BEFORE WE BEGIN, I

JUST WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO

TALK ABOUT THE ATTACK IN BOSTON

YESTERDAY.

OBVIOUSLY OUR THOUGHTS AND OUR

PRAYERS ARE WITH EVERYBODY

THERE.

AS THE PRESIDENT SAID, WE DON'T

KNOW WHO DID THIS, BUT THEY WILL

BE FOUND AND THEY WILL BE

BROUGHT TO JUSTICE.

BUT WHOEVER DID THIS OBVIOUSLY

DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE

PEOPLE OF BOSTON BECAUSE NOTHING

THESE TERRORISTS DO IS GOING TO

SHAKE THEM.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, BOSTON WAS

FOUNDED BY THE PILGRIMS -- A

PEOPLE SO TOUGH THEY HAD TO

BUCKLED THEIR GOD-DAMNED HATS

ON.

IT IS THE CRADLATE AMERICAN

REVOLUTION, A CITY THAT

WITHSTOOD AN 86-YEAR LOSING

STREAK, A CITY THAT MADE IT

THROUGH THE BIG DIG, A

CONSTRUCTION PROJECT THAT BACKED

UP TRAFFIC FOR 16 YEARS.

I MEAN, THERE ARE COMMUTER JUST

GETTING HOME NOW.

EVEN THEIR BANDS ARE TOUGH.

IT'S THE HOMETOWN OF AEROSMITH

WHO IN THEIR FIFTH DECADE ARE

STILL GOING STRONG EVEN STEVEN

TYLER LOOKS FANTASTIC, FOR A

73-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.

BUT HERE'S WHAT THESE COWARDS

REALLY DON'T GET.

THEY ATTACKED THE BOSTON

MARATHON, AN EVENT CELEBRATING

PEOPLE WHO RUN 26 MILES ON THEIR

DAY OFF UNTIL THEIR NIPPLES ARE

RAW... FOR FUN.

AND THEY HAVE BEEN HOLDING IT IN

BOSTON SINCE 1897.

AND DO YOU KNOW HOW TOUGH YOU

HAVE TO BE TO RUN IN A WHALE

BONE CORSET?

AND WHEN THOSE BOMBS WENT OFF,

THERE WERE RUNNERS WHO, AFTER

FINISHING A MARATHON, KEPT

RUNNING FOR ANOTHER TWO MILES TO

THE HOSPITAL TO DONATE BLOOD.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

SO HERE'S WHAT I KNOW.

THESE MANIACS MAY HAVE TRIED TO

MAKE LIFE BAD FOR THE PEOPLE OF

BOSTON, BUT ALL THEY CAN EVER DO

IS SHOW JUST HOW GOOD THOSE

PEOPLE ARE.

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