Late Night Fight

  • Aired:  02/04/08
  •  | Views: 137,982

Jon, Conan and Stephen settle the score! (6:01)

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

JUST THE TRUTH.

>> NATHAN, WITH WEEKS TO GO

BEFORE THE CONVENTIONS, BOTH

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ARE

DOING ANYTHING FOR PUBLICITY.

FIRST OBAMA GOES ON A WORLD

TOUR.

THEN MCCAIN WASHES UP ON THE

SHORE IN MONTAUK.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LAST WEEK, SENATOR MCCAIN --

LAST WEEK SENATOR MCCAIN

UNVEILED A NEW ATTACK AD CALLED

CELEBS.

>> HE'S THE BIGGEST CELEBRITY IN

THE WORLD.

IS HE READY TO LEAD?

>> EXACTLY.

ELECTING A CELEBRITY IS

SOMETHING THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

WOULD NEVER DO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS ]

>> NOW CRITICS ARE SAYING THIS

IS THE LOWEST COMMON

DENOMINATETOR AND IT SMACKS OF

DESPERATION.

THE AD EVEN LED TO A FURIOUS

PHONE CALL FROM PARIS HILTON'S

GRANDFATHER.

APPARENTLY WHEN HE HEARD MCCAIN

HAD MADE A VIDEO OF PARIS, HE

ASSUMED THE WORST.

YES.

YES THE ENTIRE MEDIA IS CALLING

THIS AD A MISTAKE.

FOR ONCE, THEY ARE RIGHT.

WHICH BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S --

WE THE PEOPLE.

FOLKS, THIS AD IS A DISASTER FOR

THE MCCAIN CAMPAIGN.

SURE IT GETS ITS FACTS RIGHT.

FOR INSTANCE, THE FACT THAT ALL

CELEBRITIES ARE EXACTLY THE SAME

SAME.

SO --

[ LAUGHTER ]

REALLY, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN SENATOR OWE BALM A.

PARIS HILTON AND -- SENATOR

OBAMA, PARIS HILTON, AND BRITNEY

SPEARS.

FIRST, ALL OF THEM ARE HOUNDED

BY THE PRESS.

THEY ALL LOOK GREAT ON CAMERA,

AND ALL THREE WERE PROFESSORS OF

CONSTITUTIONAL LAW AT THE

UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO.

THEY HAD VERY POPULAR CLASSES.

AND WHO CAN FORGET PARIS'S

STUNNINGLY HONEST MEMOIRE, CASH

FROM MY FATHER?

SO, EVERYTHING IN THE AD WAS

TRUE, BUT IT WAS STILL A MISTAKE

FOR MCCAIN, BECAUSE WHILE I

ALREADY KNEW I'D NEVER VOTE FOR

BARACK OBAMA, I DIDN'T REALIZE

HOW MUCH I LOVED TO VOTE FOR

BRITNEY SPEARS.

SHE WOULD BE THE PERFECT

REPUBLICAN NOMINEE.

MCCAIN PROVED SHE'S JUST AS

QUALIFIED FOR BARACK OBAMA, AND

SHE HAS THE SAME STRONG POLICY

POSITIONS AS JOHN MCCAIN.

>> I THINK WE SHOULD JUST TRUST

OUR PRESIDENT IN EVERY DECISION

THAT HE MAKES.

>> WHAT A MAVERICK.

OF COURSE, THEY AREN'T EXACTLY

THE SAME.

I THINK BRITNEY KNOWS THE

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUNNIS AND

SHIIA.

PLUS BRITNEY HAS GOT THE

NECESSARY TOUGHNESS.

MCCAIN MAY HAVE BEEN A PRISONER

OF WAR FOR FIVE YEARS, BUT

BRITNEY WAS A MOUSE CETTEER.

>> PLUS, BRITNEY IS VERY PRO

FAMILY.

SO, I SAY REPUBLICAN, IT IS NOT

TOO LATE TO DRAFT BRITNEY.

IMAGINE THE THRILL AT THE

CONVENTION WHEN SHE ACCEPTS YOUR

NOMINATION AND THEN TONGUES K.

BAILEY HUTCHINSON.

SENATOR MCCAIN, BECAUSE OF YOUR

OWN AD, YOUR ONLY HOPE IS TO

ACCEPT THIS NOMINATION WHILE

WEARING AN ALBINO SNAKE.

IF NOTHING ELSE, IT WILL MAKE

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