Ted Cruz's Humble Portrait

  • Aired:  07/30/13
  •  | Views: 31,790

Senator Ted Cruz hangs a giant painting of himself in court but doesn't mention what noble cause he championed that day. (3:32)

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

THANKS SO MUCH.

VERY NICE.

WELCOME BACK.

NATION, I LOVE HUMILITY.

AND I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT I AM

AS HUMBLE OR MORE HUMBLE THAN

ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE.

YOU THINK YOU'RE HUMBLER THAN

ME?

[BLEEP] YOU.

I'M THE KING OF HUMILITY.

SO I AM A HUGE FAN OF FIRST-TERM

TEXAS SENATOR AND GUY WITH JOSH

GROBAN ON HIS WORKOUT MIX TED

CRUZ.

SENATOR CRUZ'S VERY PUBLIC

OUTSPOKENNESS HAS MADE HIM A

THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE G.O.P.

LEADERSHIP BUT THEY HAVEN'T TOLD

THE PRESS ABOUT THEIR

DISPLEASURE BECAUSE WHENEVER

THEY GET NEAR A CAMERA, TED CRUZ

IS ALREADY IN FRONT OF IT.

RECENTLY CRUZ SAT DOWN WITH

ABC'S JONATHAN CARL TO EXPLAIN

WHAT KEEPS HIM SO DARNED MODEST.

>> YOU ARGUED A CASE BEFORE THE

SUPREME COURT AT AGE 32.

>> IT'S AN EXTRAORDINARY

OPPORTUNITY TO STAND BEFORE THE

U.S. SUPREME COURT.

TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.

WE DIDN'T HAVE A PRAYER.

WE WERE NOT GOING TO WIN THAT

CASE.

I STOOD UP AND FOR 30 MINUTES

THERE WAS NOT A SINGLE FRIENDLY

QUESTION.

I HAVE ALWAYS LIKE THE FACT THAT

I SIT IN MY OFFICE AND I LOOK AT

A GIANT PAINTING OF ME GETTING

MY TAIL WHIPPED 9-0.

IT IS VERY GOOD FOR INSTILLING

HUMILITY.

>> Stephen: YES, I HAVE TO TELL

YOU I DON'T KNOW WHAT PART OF

THIS PAINTING COMES OFF AS MORE

HUMBLE.

IS IT THE HYPOTHETICAL OF HALO

SURROUNDING HIS HEAD OR IS IT

HIS LOOK TOWARD HEAVEN?

OR IS IT ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN

THIS PAINTING OF HIM WOULD ARE

PAINTING MORE PAINTINGS OF HIM?

IN FACT...

( APPLAUSE )

IN FACT, TED CRUZ IS SO HUMBLE

HE DOESN'T EVEN MENTION WHAT

NOBLE CAUSE HE CHAMPIONED BEFORE

THE SUPREME COURT THAT DAY.

THIS MODEST HERO ARGUED THAT

TEXAS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BACK

OUT OF A LEGAL SETTLEMENT IN

WHICH IT HAD VOWED TO IMPROVE

HEALTH CARE SERVICES FOR POOR

CHILDREN.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

NO WONDER HE LOOKS SO

CHRIST-HIKE IN THAT PAINTING.

WE ALL REMEMBER THE STORY OF

JESUS PROMISING TO MULTIPLY

LOAFS AND FISHES FOR THE POOR.

THEN BACKING OUT OF IT ON LEGAL

GROUNDS.

I MEAN ALL THAT RAW FISH SITTING

OUT IN THE DESERT SUN?

I MEAN, SASHIMI IN ISRAEL?

COME ON, THAT'S JUST A FOOD

POISONING LAWSUIT WAITING TO

HAPPEN.

FOLKS, IT'S NO WONDER I LIKE TED

CRUZ SO MUCH BECAUSE I TOO LIKE

TO KEEP MY EGO IN CHECK BY

HAVING PORTRAITS DONE OF MYSELF.

FOR INSTANCE, THIS WALL-SIZED

MURAL OF ME WINNING JUST ONE OF

THE EMMYS I WAS NOMINATED FOR IN

2010.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT COULD BE 2008.

I'VE WON A COUPLE OF TIMES.

ANYWAY, IT JUST KEEPS ME HUMBLE.

OR THE TIME I WAS CUTTING DOWN A

TREE LIMB THAT WAS HANGING OVER

THE DRIVEWAY.

IT FELL ON ME WHICH WAS PRETTY

EMBARRASSING SO I HAD IT

COMMEMORATED ON CANVAS IN A

PIECE ENTITLED "THE PASSION OF

THE STEPHEN."

A LITTLE NOTE TO ANY FREEHS

WATCHING.

THIS ACT OF HUMILITY IS ALSO

AVAILABLE IN STAINED GLASS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.