The Word - Meducation

  • Aired:  10/10/12
  •  | Views: 17,877

Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades. (4:54)

SPONSORED BY COKE.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

NATION, IT'S NO SECRET THAT

AMERICA'S SCHOOLS ARE FALLING

BEHIND.

THEY RANK 31st IN MATH

BEHIND SOUTH KOREA, ESTONIA, AND

LUXEMBOURG, WHICH WOULD REALLY

HURT THEIR FEEL FTION THEY

WEREN'T ALSO BEHIND IN

GEOGRAPHY.

AND IT IS PARTICULARLY HARD FOR

CHILDREN IN POOR COMMUNITYS.

ACCORDING TO A RECENT STUDY,

BLACK CHILDREN LIVING IN

DISADVANTAGED NEIGHBORHOODS FALL

BEHIND THE EQUIVALENT OF ONE

YEAR OF SCHOOLING SIMPLY BECAUSE

OF WHERE THEY LIVE.

I CAN RELATE.

I HAD TO REPEAT SOPHOMORE YEAR

AT DARTMOUTH, JUST BECAUSE I

LIVED IN EAST WHEELOCK WITH MAD

MATTY B., CHOAD EXPAT NACHO

KING.

THERE WERE TIMES WE COULD BARELY

AFFORD TO PUT SCHIT ON THE

FOOZ BALL TABLE.

OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS LACK THE

RESOURCES TO HELP CHILDREN

SUCCEED.

MANY CLASSROOM ALPHABETS ONLY GO

UP TO "R."

A RUE RAGEDY.

NATION, IF WE WANT TO HELP POOR

STUDENTS EXCEL, WE NEED TO

INVEST IN MORE TEACHERS, BETTER

RESOURCES, AND NEWER FACILITIES.

IN OTHER WORDS, THEY'RE SCREWED.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT THERE MAY BE A WAY TO HELP

UNDERPRIVILEGED KIDS REACH THEIR

FULL POTENTIAL WITHOUT WASTING

TAXPAYER MONEY TO DO IT, AND IT

BRINGS US TO TONIGHT'S WORD.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

MEDUCATION.

FOLKS, WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING

TO IMPROVE OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND, RACE TO

THE TOP, BUT ONE THING WE'VE

OVERLOOKED IS THE MOST OBVIOUS

ANSWER OF ALL-- WONDER DRUGS.

BUT ONE DOCTOR, ONE DOCTOR OUT

THERE IS TRYING.

DR. MICHAEL ANDERSON OF CANTON,

GEORGIA, HAS BEGUN PRESCRIBING

KIDS ADDERRAL WHO HAVE NOT BEEN

DIAGNOSED WITH A.D.H.D.

HE'S DOING IT JUST TO TREAT

THEIR POOR ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE

IN INADEQUATE SCHOOLS.

SHOCKING.

THERE ARE CHILDREN IN AMERICA

WHO HAVEN'T BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH

A.D.H.D.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

NOW, FOR THOSE, FOR THOSE OUT

THERE WHO SAY THIS IS

PRESCRIBING A POWERFUL DRUG FOR

KIDS WHO DO NOT HAVE THE

CONDITION IT TREATS,

DR. ANDERSON HAS A REASSURING

ANSWER.

"I DON'T HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF

CHOICE.

WE'VE DECIDE AS A SOCIETY IT'S

TOO EXPENSIVE TO MODIFY THE

KIDS' ENVIRONMENT, SO WE HAVE TO

MODIFY THE KIDS."

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN FAVOR OF

FIXING SOCIETY'S PROBLEMS BY

MODIFYING CHILDREN.

( LAUGHTER )

I MEAN, FOR ONE THING, WE WOULD

NOT HAVE SO MUCH CRIME IF WE

JUST GAVE KIDS LEGAL IMMUNITY

AND REPLACED THEIR WARMS PLASMA

CANNONS.

THE POINT IS, STUDENTS THRIVE

WHEN THEY GET PERSONAL

ATTENTION, AND SINCE WE CAN'T

AFFORD ALL THE TEACHERS IT WOULD

TAKE TO GIVE THEM THAT

ATTENTION, WE'LL GIVE THEM A

PILL THAT HELPS THEM PAY

ATTENTION.

I JUST HOPE THEY DON'T PAY

ATTENTION TO HOW LITTLE

ATTENTION WE'RE GIVING THEM.

AND DON'T WORRY.

DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.

ADDERRAL HELPS KIDS FOCUS.

NOT BECAUSE IT'S SOME

AMPHETAMINE.

BECAUSE IT'S A COMBINATION OF

FOUR AMPHETAMINES.

IT'S LIKE THE COLONEL'S SECRET

RECIPE FOR SPEED

( LAUGHTER )

FOLKS, I BELIEVE THIS IS A GREAT

FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE ANSWER, BUT

WE CAN DO MORE.

I MEAN, WE MIGHT BE CUTTING ARTS

PROGRAMS, BUT ONE TAP OF ACID,

AND YOUR KID WILL BE SEEING

COLORS YOU CAN'T FIND IN A

CRAYOLA BOX.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

OF COURSE WITH ANYTHING HAVING

TO DO WITH SCHOOL, THE REAL

PROBLEM STARTS AT HOME.

MANY CHILDREN FEEL UNWANTED AND

UNLOVED.

BUT ONCE THEY'RE ON ECSTASY,

THEY'LL GET ALL THE NURTURING

THEY COULD EVER WANT JUST BY

NUZZ LING THE DOOR MAT.

( LAUGHTER ).

NOW, OF COURSE, EVENTUALLY, IT

MAY TURN OUT THAT DRUGGING POOR

STUDENT CREATES MORE PROBLEMS

THAN IT SOLVES.

IN WHICH CASE, WE'LL HAVE TO

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE OUR

CHILDREN AND THINK ABOUT

CHANGING OURSELVES.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

.

I FEEL BETTER ABOUT FAILING OUR

KIDS ALREADY.

THAT'S THE WORD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

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