Ronald Reagan on the Syrian Conflict

  • Aired:  09/09/13
  •  | Views: 42,900

Conservatives like Bill O'Reilly have an unconditional ability to know what Super Reagan would do at any given time. (3:05)

SO OBAMA HAS BLOWN THIS WHOLETHING.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE SHOULDHAVE DONE: HE SHOULD HAVE

WATCHED FOX NEWS TO TELL HIMWHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE.

OR WHO HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

>> RONALD REAGAN IF HE WEREPRESIDENT, WE'D GET ASSAD LIKE

THAT.

HE WOULD.

HE WOULD GET ASSAD.

IF PRESIDENT REAGAN HAD LOOKEDAT ASSAD AND SAID "DON'T YOU USE

GAS OR YOU'RE GONNA PAY A PRICE"AND HE DID, REAGAN WOULD HAVE

GONE RIGHT IN.

>> I KNOW THAT PRESIDENT REAGANWOULD HAVE NEVER LET THIS

HAPPEN.

HE WOULD STAND UP TO THIS.

WE HAVE TO THINK LIKE PRESIDENTREAGAN WOULD DO AND HE WOULD SAY

CHEMICAL USE IS UNACCEPTABLE.

>> Stephen: YES, WECONSERVATIVES HAVE AN

UNCONDITION NEE ABILITY TO KNOWWHAT RONALD REAGAN WOULD DO AT

ANY GIVEN TIME.

(LAUGHTER)SYRIAN CONFLICT?

INVADE.

OBAMACARE?

REPEAL.

SOUP OR SALAD?

JELLY BEANS.

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S WHY WE KNOW, WE

CONSERVATIVES KNOW THE GIPPERWOULD NEVER STAND FOR THE USE OF

CHEMICAL WEAPONS-- TODAY.

OF COURSE, IN THE 190s HISADMINISTRATION IGNORED CHEMICAL

ATTACKS BY SADDAM HUSSEIN THATKILLED THOUSANDS OF IRANIAN

TROOPS AND LOOKED THE OTHER WAYWHEN SADDAM GASSED HIS OWN

KURDISH CITIZENS, BUT, REMEMBER,THAT'S THE OLD REAGAN.

(LAUGHTER)WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HYPOTHETICAL

CONTEMPORARY SUPERREAGAN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THE MAN WHO NEVER RAISED TAXES

OR TRIPLED THE DEFICIT AND WHOKNOCKED DOWN THE BERLIN WALL

USING HIS NUT SACK AS A WRECKINGBALL.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'SPIXELATED.

(LAUGHTER)TRUE STORY, BY THE WAY.

TRUE STORY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

AS LONG AS WE'RE PLAYING FANFICTION FOREIGN POLICY, WHAT IF

OBAMA WERE REAGAN AND ASSAD WASTHE JOKER?

AND INSTEAD OF CHEMICAL WEAPONSHE'S OPENING A JURASSIC PARK.

OOH, OOH, WITH THE HELP OFSKELETOR!

OKAY?

AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE OVERTHE WORLD, BUT NOT SO FAST

BECAUSE REAGAN HAS BEEN BITTENBY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER AND NOW

HE'S SPIDER-REAGAN!

AND SKELETOR'S LIKE, YEAH, I'MSKELETOR, SEE, YEAH?

I RUN THE MIDDLE EAST, SEE?

AND SPIDER-REAGAN GOES "PEW,PEW, PEW.

MR. SKELETOR, TEAR DOWN YOURFACE!"

AND HE'S LIKE "I'M DEAD, SEE?"AND EVERYBODY'S SAFE AND MY MOM

LETS US STAY UP LIGHT TO WATCH"NIGHT RIDER."

I LOVE YOU, SPIDER-REAGAN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHY CAN'T OBAMA DO THAT?

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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