Victory and Vigilance at the Sochi Games

  • Aired:  02/19/14
  •  | Views: 22,330

Meryl Davis and Charlie White win a gold medal for ice dancing, and gay fundamentalists threaten the Olympics. (2:29)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

SHOW, EVERYBODY.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

NATION, IF YOU WILL EXCUSEME IF I SEEM A BIT MORE

RADIANT TONIGHT.

OR IF MY MOVEMENTS ARE MOREPOETIC THAN NORMAL.

I'M UNUSUALLY IN SYNC WITHMYSELF, I'M JUST STILL

FLOATING ON AIR FROM THISWEEKEND'S GOLD MEDAL

PERFORMANCE BY THE U.S. ICEDANCING TEAM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THESE GUYS THEIR PASSION

COULD HAVE MELTED THE ICEAND EVEN IF IT HAD, THEY

WOULD HAVE JUST WON THE GOLDSYNCHRONIZED

SWIMMING. YOU KNOWTHEM, THEY'RE AMERICA'S

DARLINGS.

THE BOUNCING AND BEHAVINGCHARLIE WHITE AND MERYL

DAVIS WHO I BELIEVE COMESFROM THE ISLAND WHERE THEY

GROW DISNEY PRINCESSES.

NOW OF COURSE THIS NETWORKDOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO

REBROADCAST ANY OF NBC'SCOVERAGE.

IF I COULD I WOULDSHOW YOU FOOTAGE OF BOB

COSTAS AND THE HORRIBLELOVECRAFTIAN EYE NIGHTMARE

THAT FORCED HIM OFF THE AIRLAST WEEK.

BUT I CAN'T SO INSTEAD IWILL JUST SHOW A PHOTO OF AN

ACTUAL SNOWMAN MY KIDS MADELAST WE CAN WHERE THEY USED

BLACK BERRIES FOR THE EYESAND ONE OF THE BLACKBERRIES

BURST.

IT'S UNCANNY.

(APPLAUSE)GET WELL, BOB.

GET WELL.

BUT FOLKS THERE IS A DARKCLOUD HANGING OVER THESE

OLYMPICS.

THE SOCHI GAMES HAVE BEENUNDER CONSTANT THREAT FROM A

GROUP OF RADICALS WHO PUTTHE MEN IN FUNDAMENTALISTS,

THE GAYS.

NOW I HAVE TO GIVE A LOT OFCREDIT TO MY FRIEND VLADIMIR

PUTIN, V-PUTZ DID HISBEST TO KEEP GAMES SAFE FROM

HOMOSEXUALS BY PASSINGANTI-GAY PROPAGANDA LAWS.

BUT ARE THOSE LAWS ENOUGH TOKEEP HOMOSEXUALITY OUT OF

THE OLYMPICS?

WELL, UNTIL THEY MAKE ABOBSLED OUT OF GLASS THERE

IS NO WAY TO TELL.

(LAUGHTER)AND, ANYTHING COULD BE

HAPPENING, ANYTHING, MADNESS.

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