Holy Grail Discovery

  • Aired:  04/03/14
  •  | Views: 18,432

Spanish historians claim to have found the cup that Jesus drank from at the Last Supper. (3:29)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WHEW!

WHEW!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT,EVERYBODY.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR

BEING HERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )FOLKS, IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO BE

HERE.

YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,IF YOU KNOW THE SHOW, YOU KNOW

I LOVE BEING A CHRISTIAN.

I MEAN THERE ARE SO MANY PERKS-- ETERNAL SALVATION WITH OUR

LORD IN HEAVEN, AND A MAGICALRABBIT WHO PASSES OUT CANDY.

HINDUS YOU'RE MISSING OUT.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT ELEPHANTGETS YOU.

AND THIS WEEK, WE CHRISTIANS GOTSOME VERY SPECIAL NEWS.

>> THE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAILCOULD BE OVER.

>> TWO SPANISH HISTORIANS SAYTHEY HAVE FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL,

A CUP SAID TO HAVE BEEN USED BYJESUS DURING THE LAST SUPPER.

THEY SAY IT WAS HIDDEN SINCE THE11th CENTURY INSIDE ANOTHER

ANCIENT CUP HOUSED IN A BASILICAIN SPAIN.

>> Stephen: THEY FOUND THEHOLY GRAIL.

AND THEY KNOW IT DATES BACK TOJESUS BECAUSE THE BOTTOM READS,

"NOT DISHWASHER SAFE BECAUSE ITHASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET."

( LAUGHTER ), OF COURSE, EVERY TIME SOMEONE

FINDS THE HOLY GRAIL SKEPTICSCOME OUT OF THE WOODWORK JUST

BECAUSE THERE ARE 200 SUPPOSEDGRAILS IN EUROPE ALONE.

THAT'S NOT EVEN COUNTING THE ONELIL' JON FOUND.

WELL, FOLKS, AS A MAN OF FAITH,I BELIEVE THESE PEOPLE ARE

CHARLETANS BECAUSE I'VE GOT THEREAL HOLY GRAIL.

BEHOLD!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I DISCOVERED IT THIS MORNING AT

OUR NEIGHBORHOOD DELI.

MERE MILES FROM THE SACREDGROUND OF ST. PATRICK'S'

CATHEDRAL.

IT WAS ENTRUSTED TO ME BY AMYSTERIOUS MIDDLE EASTERN MAN.

( LAUGHTER )IF YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH ROBERT

LANGDON'S SYMBOLOGICAL ANALYSES,ALL THE SIGNS ARE RIGHT HERE.

OKAY.

LOOK HERE, JIMMY.

THE THREE BEANS SIGNIFY THE HOLYTRINITY-- THE FATHER, THE SON,

AND THE HOLY ROAST.

AND THE WORD "CAPPUCCINO,"CLEARLY THE SIGNATURE OF THE

CAPUCHIN MONKSWHO HID THE GRAIL FROM THE

INVADING SARACEN ARMIES IN THE14th CENTURY.

AND THE CLINCHER-- THAT ITBELONGED TO CHRIST IS THAT I

FOUND SOME BEARD HAIR ON THERIM.

( LAUGHTER )AND I HAVE NO BEARD.

OF COURSE, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAYTO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE.

WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO HEWHO DRINKS FROM A FALSE GRAIL.

♪ ♪( SCREAMING )

( LAUGHTER )>> Stephen: HE CHOSE NOT

GOOD.

( LAUGHTER )HERE GOES, HERE GOES.

AARRGGHH!

AAARRGGHH!

THAT COFFEE IS HOT!

PUT I'M FINE, SO THAT'S THEGRAIL.

AND I GUESS I'M GOING TO LIVEFOREVER.

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