Colbert Super PAC SHH! - Karl Rove & Jon Stewart

  • Aired:  11/12/12
  •  | Views: 113,439

Billionaires go after Karl Rove's thumbs, while anonymous, scary Colbert Super PAC SHH! donors trace Jon Stewart and Stephen. (4:10)

DECADES.

(LAUGHTER) I'M SORRY.

NOW FOLKS, EVEN I CAN SOMETIMES GET A STORY WRONG.

FOR EXAMPLE LAST WEEK I SAID THE THREE BRANCHES OF GOVERNMENT WERE EXECUTIVE, JUDICIAL AND SANTA MARIA.

IT, IN FACT, SHEMP.

(LAUGHTER) NOW I ALSO SAID THAT SUPER PAC WOULD BE 9 DECIDING FACTOR IN THE 2012 ELECTION.

I MIGHT HAVE EVEN FOUNDED ONE, COLBERT SUPER PAC.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER OUR MOTTO, MAKING A BETTER TOMORROW --

>> TOMORROW!

>> Stephen: WOW, I'M SURPRISED.

I DIDN'T REALLY MAKE THAT BIG OF A DEAL OF IT.

(LAUGHTER) YOU SEE ME AND EVERYBODY ELSE WHO HAD A SUPER PAC THOUGHT WE WERE PLAYAS.

WELL, TURNED OUT WE WERE SCRUBBED.

JIM?

>> YOU HAD THE SUPER PACS SPENDING LITERALLY BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, BILLIONS OF

DOLLARS TO DEFEAT THE PRESIDENT WHILE THE PRESIDENT WAS RE-ELECTED.

>> SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE LIKE KARL ROVE AND OTHERS WHO TOOK A LOT OF MONEY FOR THE

SUPER PACS --

>> ROVE WAS IN DENIAL BUT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY.

HIS AMERICAN CROSSROAD CROSSROADS-- ACCORDING TO SOME FOUNDATION JUST 1.29% OF THAT MONEY WENT TO

CANDIDATES WHO ACTUALLY WON.

1.29%.

>> YOU KNOW SOME OF THE GUYS THAT HE TOOK MONEY FROM ARE CASINO OWNERS.

THEY KNOW GUY WITH FLAT KNOWSES AND BRASS KNUCKLES WHO GOING TO WANT TO BE KNOWN WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE MONEY.

>> Stephen: KARL'S IN BIG TROUBLE.

(LAUGHTER) THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE HIS THUMBS AND KARL IS ALMOST ALL THUMBS.

(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE) NATION-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: AND NATION, I TOOK A LOT OF MONEY FOR MY SUPER PACMENT AND MY 501 C 4

COLBERT SUPER PAC SHH WHICH STANDS FOR SHH.

MONEY FROM SOME ANONYMOUS SCARY DONORS.

THAT'S NOT PIXEL ATED, THAT'S HIS FACE.

AND FOLKS I'M SCARED.

I THINK I WAS FOLLOWED TO THE STUDIO TONIGHT.

AND I PERSONALLY DON'T KNOWS WHAT'S GOING TO-- WHAT WAS THAT?

OH MY GOD, THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME.

HOW DID THEY FIND OUT I WORK AT THE COLBERT REPORT?

(LAUGHTER) LISTEN, FELLAS, I DIDN'T WASTE YOUR MONEY.

RUNNING A SUPER PAC IS EXPENSIVE.

WE HAVE LEGITIMATE COST.

WE HAD HANDLING COSTS AND LEGAL FEES.

AND THE BIGGEST EXPENSE, ALMOST $90,000 OF IT WAS FOR THE COMMERCIALS THE SUPER

PAC RAN WHILE I WAS KINDA SORTA RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF SOUTH CAROLINA.

I WASN'T EVEN CHARGING THE SUPER PAC THEN.

JON STEWART WAS.

THIS IS THE GUY YOU WANT, NOT ME!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: YOU SON OF A PITCH!

YOU'RE NOT PINNING THIS ON ME, BROTHER.

>> Stephen: I'M NOT TAKE THE FALL, JON.

YOU HAD CONTROL OF THE SUPER PAC.

>> Jon: FOR A WEEK!

>> Stephen: YOU BOUGHT A ZEPPELIN.

>> IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT MEETINGS DOWNWIND.

I WAS JUST FOLLOWING YOUR ORDERS!

>> Stephen: IN A NONCOORDINATED WAY.

>> Jon: YES, OF COURSE, NONCOORDINATED, COMPLETELY.

>> Stephen: WELL NOW THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ONE OF US, JON.

>> Jon: THEY WANT A HEAD ON A PLATTER!

>> Stephen: WAIT.

A HEAD ON A PLATTER?

(LAUGHTER) THEN LET'S GIVE THEM-- .

>> Jon: THE HAM.

>> Stephen: YES.

HAM ROVE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE TRUSTED AND SALTED ADVISOR.

>> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, KILL HIM!

>> Stephen: WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

>> Jon: I CAN'T DO IT, IT'S NOT KOSHER.

(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: FINE, FINE.

I'M SORRY, HAM ROVE.

ONE OF US IS DEAD MEAT AND YOU ALREADY ARE.

GAH, GAH, GAH!

GAH, GAH!

GAH!

>> Jon: I W