Rick Santorum Visits Puerto Rico and Speaks from His Heart

  • Aired:  03/15/12
  •  | Views: 74,484

Mitt Romney wins Hawaii and American Samoa primaries, and Rick Santorum visits Puerto Rico. (5:07)

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

BUT DESPITE THE DEMOCRATS'

PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO DERAIL IT

WITH THE SO-CALLED REPUBLICAN

WAR ON WOMEN, THE G.O.P.

PRESIDENTIAL RACE MARCHES ON, OR

IN THE CASE OF NEWT GINGRICH,

SHAMBLES ON, STOPS FOR BREATH,

AND THEN MAKES A SMALL PURCHASE

ATATIVE 'S.

YESTERDAY, THE INEVITABLE

NOMINEE, MITT ROMNEY APPEARED ON

FOX NEWS TO REITERATE HIS

CAMPAIGN'S CORE MESSAGE OF HOPE.

>> I MADE A LOT OF MONEY.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: NOW, I'M GOING TO

TELLUE.

( CHEERING )

THAT IS A GUY I WOULD LIKE TO

HAVE A BEER COMPANY WITH.

ON TUESDAY, MITT DOMINATED THE

PRIMARIES IN HAWAII AND AMERICAN

SAMOA AFTER PREVIOUSLY WINNING

IN THE MARIANAS ISLANDS AND

GUAM.

NO SURPRISE MITT DOES WELL IN

THE PACIFIC.

THE NATIVES MISTAKE HIM FOR AN

EASTER ISLAND HEAD.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT RICK SANTORUM IS NOT RIDING

OFF THE ISLAND.

YESTERDAY, HE WENT DOWN TO

PUERTO RICO TO PICK UP SOME

DELEGATES, OR DELGADOS.

AND RICK DID NOT PANDER,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SUBJECT

TURNED TO WHAT PUERTO RICO WOULD

HAVE TO DO TO BECOME A STATE

SAYING, "LIKE ANY OTHER STATE,

THERE NEEDS TO BE COMPLIANCE

WITH FEDERAL LAW, AND THAT IS

THAT ENGLISH NEEDS TO BE THE

PRINCIPAL LANGUAGE."

FOLKS, FOLKS, IT TAKES SERIOUS

COJONS TO GO TO PUERTO RICO AND

TO TELL THEM TO STOP SAYING

CAJONS.

I MEAN,

( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERING )

RICK'S FORMULA IS SIMPLE-- YOU

SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU BECOME A

STATE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S TAKING D.C.

SO LONG.

( LAUGHTER )

NOW I KNOW, I KNOW, PUERTO

RICANS HAVE BEEN SPEAKING

SPANISH, OR AS MY AUNT RITA

CALLS IT, TACO TALK--

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

SINCE TEEN 08.

TRY SOME FLASH CARDS.

TRY THE ROSETTA STONE.

IT'S THAT TOUGH LOVE THAT WILL

GET RICK RACKING UP DELEGATES

ALL OVER THE MAP.

NEXT HE WILL TELL VOTERS IN

WISCONSIN TO LAY OFF THE CHEESE,

FATTYES, AND VOTERS IN INDIANA

TO SPEAKA THE ENGLISH.

SANTORUM IS REMINDING PUERTO

RICANS TO BE IN COMPLIANCE WITH

FEDERAL LAW, ENGLISH NEEDS TO BE

THE PRINCIPAL LANGUAGE.

AND, SURE, THERE IS NO SUCH

SPECIAL LAW.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT IT SURE FEELS LIKE THERE IS.

AND RICK SANTORUM ALWAYS SPEAKS

WHAT FEELS LIKE THE TRUTH.

FOR INSTANCE, LAST MONTH, WHEN

HE SPOKE OUT ON THE DANGERS OF

SOCIALIZED MEDICINE.

>> IN THE NETHERLANDS, PEOPLE

WEAR DIFFERENT BRACELETS.

AND THE BRACELET IS, "DO NOT

EUTHANIZE ME."

HALF THE PEOPLE EUTHANIZED EVERY

YEAR, 10% OF ALL DEATHES, HALF

OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE EUTHANIZED

INVOLUNTARILY BECAUSE THEY ARE

OLDER AND SICK.

>> Stephen: SHOCKING, AND

TURNS OUT, NOT TRUE.

( LAUGHTER )

EVIDENTLY SANTORUM'S COMMENTS

ABOUT THE NETHERLANDSS WERE

YANKED OUT OF HIS NETHER-PARTS.

BUT THAT DISAPPOINT MATTER.

AS HIS PRESS SECRETARY EXPLAINED

TO THE NETHERLANDS NEWS LEADER--

>> AS A DUTCH REPORTER I HAVE TO

ASK YOU SOMETHING WHAT HE SAID

ABOUT HOLLAND AND EUTHANASIA.

HE SAID PEOPLE WEAR BRACELETS IN

HOLLAND THAT SAY DO NOT

EUTHANIZE ME AND PEOPLE ARE

INVOLUNTARILY EUTHANIZED.

DO YOU REMEMBER HIM SAYING THAT?

>> YES, BUT A LOT OF THESE

THINGS, IT'S A MATTER OF WHAT'S

IN HIS HEART.

>> Stephen: YES.

( LAUGHTER )

IT'S JUST A MATTER OF WHAT'S IN

HIS HEART.

AND IN RICK SANTORUM'S HEART,

DUTCH DOCTORS PUSH OLD PEOPLE IN

WHEELCHAIRS UP TO WINDMILLS AND

LET THE BLADES CHOP THEIR HEADS

OFF.

AND THEN COMBINED THEM INTO A

PASTE-- GRIND THEM INTO A PASTE

AND USE THAT PASTE TO PLUG

CRACKS IN THE DIKES AND TURN

THEIR SKULLS INTO WOODEN SHOES.

THE POINT IS, AS LONG AS IT'S IN

YOUR HEART, IT IS TRUE.

THAT IS WHY RIGHT NOW TO SHOW MY

SUPPORT FOR RICK SANTORUM, I AM

GOING TO TWEET WHAT IS IN MY

HEART ABOUT RICK, REGARDLESS OF

WHETHER OR NOT IT'S TRUE.

( CLEARS THROAT )

LET'S SEE HERE.

RICK SANTORUM HAS BODY HAIR IN

THE EXACT SHAPE OF HIS SWEATER

VEST.

( LAUGHTER )

HASHES TAG, IN MY HEART.

SEND.

( LAUGHTER )

RICK SANTORUM, YOU KEEP SPEAKING

WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART AS LONG AS

IT'S IN ENGLISH.

( LAUGHTER )

AND I AM SURE YOU'LL GET THE

NOMINATION, OR AT LEAST FEEL

LIKE YOU HAVE.

( LAUGHTER )

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