Don't Shoot the Schlessinger

Aired:  08/18/10 Views: 77,948

The First Amendment guarantees all Americans the right to say what they want on the air without having their sponsors drop them. (4:41)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

NATION, IT SEEMS LIKE THESE DAYS

YOU CAN'T SWING A DEAD CAT

WITHOUT THE AFRICAN AMERICAN

COMMUNITY GETTING UPSET THAT YOU

JUST HIT 'EM WITH A DEAD CAT.

[LAUGHTER]

CULTURE VICTIMIZATION, I SAY.

WELL, NOW, A FIRESTORM HAD

ERUPTED AROUND RADIOHOST LAURA

SCHLESINGER.

LAURA AND I HAVE PRETTY CLOSE.

YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THE

30-YEAR-OLD NAKED PHOTOS OF US

THAT LEAKED ON TO THE INTERNET A

FEW YEARS BACK.

WE WERE JUST VERY EXCITED THAT

JIMMY CARTER LOST THE

REELECTION.

NOW, SCHLESINGER IS DEFINITELY

ONE OF THE TOP CONSERVATIVE

LAURAS.

THERE'S LAURA BUSH.

LAURA INGRAHAM AND LAURA ROVE.

KARL ROVE'S FAMILY VALUES DRAG

PERSONA.

TRUST ME, AFTER AN AUDITORIUM

FULL OF HIGH SCHOOL KIDS SEES

LAURA ROVE PERFORM, THEY WILL

NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX BEFORE

MARRIAGE OR AFTER A MEAL.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SADDENED THAT

LAURA SCHLESINGER IS BEING

VILIFIED FOR SOME ADVICE SHE

GAVE A BLACK CALLER WHO BELIEVED

HER WHITE HUSBAND'S FRIENDS WERE

MAKING RACIST COMMENTS.

JIM.

>> CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF

A RACIST COMMENT BECAUSE

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE

HYPERSENSITIVE.

>> HOW ABOUT THE "N" WORD?

THE "N" WORD HAS BEEN...

>> BLACK GUYS USE IT ALL THE

TIME.

TURN ON HBO.

LISTEN TO A BLACK COMIC AND ALL

YOU HEAR IS [BLEEPED],

[BLEEPED].

I DON'T GET IT.

IF ANYONE WITHOUT ENOUGH MEL

ANYONE SAYS IT, IT'S A HORRIBLE

THING.

>> I'M A LITTLE PUT OUT BY THE

"N" WORD.

I HOPE EVERYONE HEARD IT.

>> I'LL SAY IT AGAIN.

[BLEEPED], [BLEEPED].

WHY DON'T YOU LET ME FINISH A

SENTENCE.

>> OKAY.

>> DON'T TAKE THINGS OUT OF

CONTEXT.

DON'T NAACP ME.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOU'RE THAT

HYPERSENSITIVE ABOUT COLOR AND

DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR,

DON'T HARRY OUT OF YOUR RACE.

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHY THOMAS

JEFFERSON DIDN'T MARRY SALLY

HEMMING, SHE NEVER LAUGHED AT

HIS SLAVE JOKES.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS INCIDENT IS ESPECIALLY

DISTURBING TO ME BECAUSE I DON'T

WANT TO LOSE MY RADIOSHOW

"COLBERT ON THE AIR."

AND BLACK PEOPLE'S

HYPERSENSITIVITY IS ALREADY A

MINEFIELD.

HERE'S A PERFECT EXAMPLE FROM

YESTERDAY'S SHOW.

ANYWAY, THAT'S HOW YOU CAN

LEGALLY SPAY YOUR CAT AT HOME.

JUST KEEP A FIRM GRIP.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

NEXT CALLER.

YOU'RE ON THE AIR.

>> HI, STEPHEN, I HAVE A

QUESTION ABOUT USED CARS.

>> Stephen: SHOOT.

>> I'M LOOKING TO BUY A HONDA

ACCORD WITH 100,000 MILES ON IT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

FIRST QUESTION, ARE YOU BLACK?

I DON'T SEE RACE.

I DON'T HEAR RACE.

I KNOW YOU PEOPLE HAVE A SHORT

FUSE.

>> CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THE

CAR?

>> Stephen: HOW BLACK ARE YOU?

IF YOU WERE A PAINT SWATCH,

WOULD YOU BE MORE LIKE RAW UM

BER OR CINIBAR.

>> I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE

UNCOMFORTABLE?

I HAVE TO WATCH THE RACE CAR.

GET A JOB, CINIBAR.

>> I HAVE A JOB.

DON'T CALL ME CINIBAR.

>> IF I HAVE AN S.P.F. MORE THAN

25, I'M A RACIST?

WELCOME TO OBAMA'S AMERICA.

NEXT CALLER.

HELLO.

ARE YOU PUERTO RICAN?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

TURNS OUT THE NEXT CALLER WAS

NOT PUERTO RICAN.

HE WAS THE F.C.C.

ANYWAY, DR. LAURA'S SHOW HAS

LOST TWO MAJOR SPONSORS SO SHE

DROPPED THIS BOMB ON LARRY KING.

>> I MADE THE DECISION NOT TO DO

RADIO ANYMORE.

>> Stephen: I ASSUME BECAUSE

SHE WANTS TO SPEND MORE TIME

SAYING THE "N" WORD WITH HER

FAMILY.

TURNS OUT SHE HAS AN EVEN BETTER

REASON.

>> THE REASON IS I WANT TO

REGAIN MY FIRST AMENDMENT

RIGHTS.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY WHAT'S

ON MY MIND AND IN MY HEART AND

WHAT I THINK IS HELPFUL AND

USEFUL WITHOUT SOMEBODY GETTING

ANGRY, SOME SPECIAL INTEREST

GROUP DECIDING THIS IS A TIME TO

SILENCE A VOICE OF DISSENT AND

ATTACK AFFILIATES AND ATTACK

SPONSORS.

>> Stephen: GOOD FOR YOU,

LAWYER RAMP THE FIRST AMENDMENT

GUARANTEES ALL AMERICANS THE

RIGHT TO SAY WHAT WE WANT ON THE

AIR NO MATTER HOW OFFENSIVE

WITHOUT HAVING OUR SPONSORS DROP

US LIKE THE CLOTHES OFF LAURA

SCHLESINGER IN THE LATE 1970s.

[LAUGHTER]

SO TONIGHT IN SOLIDARITY WITH

DR. LAURA, I WOULD LIKE THE SAY

THIS.

BELGIANS ARE A FILTHY, THEEFG

PEOPLE.

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