New Hampshire GOP Debates - Moderate Extremes

  • Aired:  01/09/12
  •  | Views: 24,683

New Hampshire Republicans propose that all new legislation include a direct quote from the Magna Carta, the declaration of rights of English barons. (5:49)

>> WHO CAN BLAME THEM.

>> AND FOLKS, THE OTHER

CANDIDATES SAID THINGS BUT I

DON'T CARE.

BECAUSE I WAS WANTED RED

MEAT, GINGRICH FEASTING ON

TARTAR YOU KNOW HE'S TENDER

BECAUSE MORE MONDAYS ARE

MILK FED.

BUT EVERYTHING THEY SAID IN

THESE DEBATES WAS JUST

MIDDLE OF THE ANTIABORTION

BAN GAY MARRIAGE OBAMA IS A

SOCIALIST ROAD.

I BLAME IT ALL ON MODERATE

NEW HAMPSHIRE.

>> JIM.

>> IN NEW HAMPSHIRE,

INDEPENDENTS CAN VOTE IN

EITHER PARTY'S PRIMARY.

SO IT'S A MORE MODERATE

STATE.

>> USUALLY THE SOCIAL

CONSERVATIVE CANDIDATE GOES

TO IOWA.

THE MORE MODERATE CANDIDATES

ARE HERE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE.

>> NEW HAMPSHIRE IS FAR MORE

NORTHEASTERN MODERATE.

>> Stephen: SO NO SURPRISE

THAT NEW HAMPSHIRE IS MORE

MODERATE ON SOCIAL ISSUES.

AFTER ALL, FOR THE PAST 200

YEARS NEW HAMPSHIRE'S BEEN

69ING VERMONT.

SO THEY'RE VERY HAPPY

TOGETHER.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: IT'S A COMMITTED

STABLE RELATIONSHIP.

SO NATURALLY THE CANDIDATES

ARE TRYING TO APPEAL TO THE

VOTERS IN THE GRANITE STATE.

WITCH HUNTSMAN HAS DONE BY

ADOPTING THE CHARISMA OF

IGNEOUS ROCK.

NOW I THINK THE CANDIDATES

SHOULD TAKE THEIR LEAD FROM

A NEW BILL INTRODUCED BY NEW

HAMPSHIRE REPUBLICANS.

YOU SEE, LAST YEAR THE

NATIONAL GOP LAWMAKERS IN

CONGRESS CAME UP WITH A NEW

RULE QUOTE REQUIRING THAT

EACH BILL FILED IN THE HOUSE

CITE ITS SPECIFIC

CONSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY.

BECAUSE REPUBLICANS

UNDERSTAND THAT AMERICA MUST

REMAIN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY

IT WAS WHEN THE FOUNDERS

DRAFTED THE CONSTITUTION IN

1787.

BE GONE YE DEVIL SCROTUM!

(LAUGHTER)

JUST AS HOT AS THE DEVIL'S

SCROTUM.

WELL, NEW HAMPSHIRE

REPUBLICANS ARE TAKING THIS

IDEA TO ITS MODERATE

EXTREME.

BY PROPOSING THAT ALL NEW

LEGISLATION INCLUDE A DIRECT

QUOTE FROM THE MACK THAT

CARTA, WHICH SETS FORTH THE

ARTICLE FROM WHICH THE

INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS OR LIBERTY

IS DERIVED.

YES, THE MAGAZINE THAT CARTA,

THE DECLARATION OF RIGHTS OF

ENGLISH BARRONS WRITTEN IN

1215 ORIGINALLY COMPOSED AS

AN OP ED IN RUPERT MURDOCH'S

FIRST PAPER THE YORK POST.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN THIS DOCUMENT CLEARLY

INSPIRED OUR FOUNDING

FATHERS.

IN FACT, THE ONLY THING THAT

JEFFERSON READ MORE THAN THE

MAGAZINE THAT CARTA WAS

SLAVE TALE.

(LAUGHTER)

AS ONE OF THE NEW

HAMPSHIRE'S BILLS AUTHORS

PUT IT, EVERYTHING HAS AN

ORIGIN AND THIS IS PART OF

THE ORIGIN OF WHAT WE HAVE

IN OUR COUNTRY.

THIS IS A LITTLE BIT OLDER

THAN THE CONSTITUTION BUT

THE SAME THOUGHT IS THERE.

YES, 572 YEARS IS A LITTLE

BIT OLDER THAN THE

CONSTITUTION.

BUT IT STILL APPLIES.

REMEMBER THE MAGAZINE THAT

CARTA WAS WRITTEN BY ANGRY

RICH MEN WHO BELIEVED THEIR

RULER WAS AN IL LEGITMENT

USURPER.

SO I HOPE THE CANDIDATES

WILL U THE MACK THAT CARTA

TO APPEAL TO THE FAMOUSLY

MODERATE NEW HAMPSHIRE

REPUBLICANS.

GOVERNOR ROMNEY,

INDEPENDENCE MAY QUESTION

YOUR TIES TO WALL STREET, SO

PROMISE TO CRACK DOWN ON

PREDATORY LENDING BY CITING

MAGNA CARTA SECTION 11, IF A

MAN DIES OWING MONEY TO JEWS,

HIS WIFE MAY HAVE HER DOWER

AND PAY NOTHING FOR THE DEBT

PROMISED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALTHOUGH AND I CANNOT STRESS

THIS ENOUGH, THAT PROBABLY

WON'T GO OVER AS WELL IN

FLORIDA.

AND RICK PERRY, YOU NEED TO

SHOW NEW HAMPSHIRE THAT YOU

GOT FOREIGN POLICY CHOPS.

SO STAND FIRMLY BEHIND

SECTION 58 OF THE MAGNA

CARTA WHICH CALLS FOR THE

RETURN OF THE SONS OF LIEU

"ELLEN" AND ALL WELSH-- COME

ON!

IT IS DAY 290,936 OF THE

WELSH HOSTAGE CRISIS.

LET OUR LONG BOWMAN GO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: YES.

AND RON PAUL, YOU SHOULD

DRESS UP AS MERLIN.

NOW.

LET INTO GOLD, LEAD INTO

GOLD.

NOW BASING ALL YOUR LAWS ON

13th CENTURY ENGLISH

TREATIES SITS MODERATE NEW

HAMPSHIRE-- FITS MODERATE

NEW HAMPSHIRE BUT SOUTH

CAROLINA IS NEXT SO THEY'RE

GOING WANT TO GO BACK EVEN

FURTHER.

SOUTH CAROLINA IS A BIG

MILITARY STATE SO NEWT

GINGRICH TRY CITING ROMAN

LAWMAKER CATO THE ELDER

SPEECHES AGAINST CARTAAGE I

THINK WE STAND WITH VIPIO

AFRICANNUS TO HELP HANNIBAL

IN CROSSING THE ALL S AND

IMPOSE SANCTIONS TO KEEP

PARTHIAN FROM ACQUIRING

PARKY DETERMINE TECHNOLOGY.

AND RICK SANTORUM WHEN YOU

GET TO FLORIDA, ARE YOU

GOING TO WANT TO PITCH YOUR

REPLACEMENT FOR OBAMA CARE

SO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO

THE BABYLONIAN CODE OF

HAMARABBI.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH

FOR A TOOTH THAT COVERS BOTH

VISION AND DENTAL.

OF COURSE, AS THE PRIMARIES

GO ON THE CANDIDATES WILL

NEED TO CITE OLDER AND OLDER

STUFF LIKE CAVE PAINTINGS

AND WHATEVER WAS IN THE

POCKETS OF OCTI THE ICEMAN

BECAUSE WHEN ARE YOU A

REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE THE

ONLY WAY TO LEAD AMERICA NOT

FUTURE IS BY TYING YOURSELF

TO THE DI