Y2-Gay

  • Aired:  07/25/11
  •  | Views: 54,989

New York's first gay newlyweds, 85-year-old Connie Kopelov and 77-year-old Phyllis Siegel, seal their vows with a kiss on the cheek -- or as they call it, "scissoring." (3:10)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE].

.

>>.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

WH OO, WHOO!

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

FOLKS, SORRY ABOUT THE GLASSES.

SORRY ABOUT THESE.

I'M JUST... OH, MY GOD, MY EYES

ARE STILL ADJUSTING.

I HAVE NOT SEEN DAYLIGHT SINCE

FRIDAY BECAUSE THIS WEEKEND

MARKED THE BEGINNING OF LEGAL

GAY MARRIAGE IN NEW YORK.

[LAUGHTER]

AND NO ESCAPE THE FORCE-FIVE

GAY-NADO ENGULFING THE CITY, I

RETREATED TO MY UNDERGROUND

HETERO-BUNKER.

NOW, I ORIGINALLY BOUGHT IT FOR

Y2K, BUT I HAVE RECENTLY ADAPTED

IT TO Y-TOO-GAY.

NOW, IT IS STOCKED WITH THINGS

THAT STRAIGHT MEN LOVE -- A

TEN-YEAR SUPPLY OF MANWICH, ALL

EIGHT SEASONS OF ""MAGNUM P.I.""

AND A DODGE PICKUP -- RAM TOUGH!

TURNS OUT IF YOU'RE ENCLOSED IN

A POORLY VENTILATED SPACE, YOU

SHOULD NOT LEAVE YOUR TRUCK

IDLING OR EAT NOTHING BUT

MANWICH FOR THREE DAYS.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH FUMES GOT ME

FIRST, BUT EVIDENTLY I PASSED

OUT BECAUSE NEXT THING I KNOW

I'M ABOVE GROUND IN THE ARMS OF

A HANDSOME FIREMAN.

NEW YORK'S BRAVEST.

SO I BOUGHT THE 20 THE 11

FIREMAN'S CALENDAR.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

I BOUGHT IT AS THANK YOU AND FOR

NO OTHER REASON.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS IS GOING TO LOOK GREAT ON

THE WALL OF MY HETERO BUNKER.

OH, MY LORD.

I CERTAINLY HOPE MY STUDIO

CATCHES FIRE IN OCTOBER.

[LAUGHTER]

AND IT WAS A GOOD THING I STAYED

IN MY BUNKER ALL WEEKEND,

FOLKSIOUS BECAUSE JUST LOOK AT

THE DEVIANT FREAK SHOW THAT WAS

FIRST COUPLE TO BE MARRIED IN

NEW YORK CITY.

>> BY THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME

BY THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF NEW

YORK, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU

MARRIED.

YOU MAY SEAL YOUR VOWS WITH A

KISS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, A

KISS ON THE CHEEK.

OR AS THEY CALL IT,

"SCISSORING."

LOOK AT THEM.

77-YEAR-OLD PHYLLIS SEGAL AND

HER 85-YEAR-OLD HUS-BRIDE CONNIE

KOPELOV.

COME ON, GIRLS!

DON'T MAKE THIS PERMANENT.

IT'S CLEARLY JUST A PHASE.

LOOK, I GET IT, YOU'RE AT AN

EXPERIMENTAL AGE, BUT TRUST ME,

THIS WILL WEAR OFFER THE SECOND

YOU GRADUATE FROM AQUA-JOGGING

CLASS.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU TWO ARE

GOING TO BREAK THIS TO YOUR

PARENTS.

IT'S GOING TO KILL THEM.

Loading...