Sport Report - Cranium Coddlers & San Francisco Street Chess - Floyd Mayweather

  • Aired:  09/25/13
  •  | Views: 61,612

The NCAA wussifies America by penalizing illegal football hits, and boxing champion Floyd Mayweather explains the dangers of street chess. (6:01)

YOU KNOW, WHEN I PLAYSPORTS, I DON'T WEAR A CUP.

I NEED A QUART.

THIS IS THE SPORREPORT.

.NATION, ARE YOU READY FOR SOMEFOOTBALL!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )WELL, GOOD, BECAUSE I DON'T

THINK FOOTBALL IS.

BECAUSE THE CRANIUM CODDLERS OUTTHERE KEEP RUINING THE GAME.

NEW PENALTIES FOR VIOLATINGN.C.A.A. RULES ON TARGETING

DEFENSELESS PLAYERS ABOVE THEHEAD ARE ALREADY HAVING AN

IMPACT ON COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

>> YOU CANNOT HIT A PLAYER INTHE HEAD THIS YEAR.

THAT IS THE SITUATION.

>> Stephen: THAT IS THESITUATION?

I MEAN, COME ON!

SINCE WHEN DID PEOPLE'S HEADSGET SO VULNERABLE?

LAST TIME I CHECKED, WE'RE ALLWEARING BONE HELMETS AROUND OUR

THINK MEAT.

( LAUGHTER )THIS IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE, FOLKS.

TODAY YOU CAN'T HIT SOMEONE INTHE HEAD.

TOMORROW THE QUARTERBACK HAS TOPLAY THE WHOLE GAME STRAPPED

INTO A CAR SEAT.

( LAUGHTER )LOOK, I BELIEVE THIS IS A WAR ON

AMERICA'S GAME, RIGHT, FOX NEWS'"THE FIVE."

>> THE WAR ON FOOTBALL.

>> I DO THINK THERE'S A WAR ONFOOTBALL.

>> THEY WANT TO WUSSIFY AMERICAAND THIS IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF

HOW THE WITH USIFICATION OFAMERICA WILL RUIN US IN THE

FUTURE.

>> THE TACKLE DUMMY IS RIGHT.

AMERICA IS GETTING WITH USIFIED,STARTING WITH THE WORD WITH USE,

WHICH IS THE WITH USE'S WAY OFSAYING PUSSY.

SO WHAT IF FOOTBALL PLAYERS TAKETHEIR LIVES INTO THEIR HANDS

EVERY SUNDAY.

FOOTBALL IS AS AMERICAN AS WAR.

RIGHT, ANDREA TANTAROS?

>> THERE'S A LOT OF SIMILARITIESTO THE MILITARY.

THINK ABOUT THIS-- THE LANGUAGETHEY USE "TOUCHING DOWN.

GROUND GAME."

>> Stephen: RIGHT YOU ARE,ANDREA.

I LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONE SCORES ATOUCHING DOWN.

AND THEN KICKS THE FIELDINGGOAL.

THE POINT IS, ALL THIS WORRYOVER HEAD TRAUMA IS A WASTE OF

ENERGY.

YOU CAN STILL HAVE A LONG ANDPRODUCTIVE CAREER WITH A

DEBILITATING CONCUSSION.

I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT THE 5s.

( LAUGHTER )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

BIG GANS OF THE 5s TONIGHT.

FOLKS, YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVERLIKED CHESS.

I'M A TRADITIONALIST.

IF I WANT TO LOSE TO A COMPUTEROR SOMETHING, I'LL JUST TRY TO

UPDATE WINDOWS.

YOU WIN AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!

NOW, FOLKS I AM NOT THE ONLY ONETRYING TO KEEP CHESS IN CHESS.

>> THE "SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE"REPORTS POLICE ARE CRACKING

CRACK DOWN ON STREET CHESS.

FOR DECADES POLICE POOEM HAVEGATHERED TO PLAY STREET CHESS ON

MIDMARKET STREET.

MANY ARE HOMELESS.

>> Stephen: FINALLY SUDDENFRANKERS ARE SAFE FROM THE

PUBLIC MENACE OF CHESSING WHICHHAS TURNED THE TENDER LOIN

NEIGHBORHOOD INTO A HOT BED FORILLEGAL GAMBLING, DRUG AND

ALCOHOL USE, VIOLENCE, EVENBARBECUE WINGS.

YES, GRILLED MEATS HAVE NO PLACEIN A NEIGHBORHOOD CALLED THE

TENDER LOIN.

( LAUGHTER )CLEARLY, FOLKS, CHESS IS A

DANGEROUS GAME AND TOO MANY OFOUR PARKS AND PUBLIC SPACES ARE

DEVOLVING INTO 16-ON-16 BRAWLS,MANY WITH RACIAL OVERTONES.

FOR MORE WE TURN TO THESPOR-REPORT'S LONGTIME CHESS

CORRESPONDENT... LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, WEIGHY 150 POUNDS

FLOYD MONEY MAYWEATHER!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HOW ARE YOU, MAN?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HOW ARE YOU, MAN?

SIT DOWN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )FLOYD-- FLOYD, IT'S ALWAYS GOOD

TO SEE YOU.

NOW, FLOYD YOU ARE THE UNIFIEDSUPER WELTERWEIGHT WORLD

CHAMPION.

YOU'VE WON 10 WORLD TITLESACROSS FIVE DIFFERENT WEIGHT

CLASSES.

YOU'RE UNDEFEATED AS APROFESSIONAL FIGHTER, POUND PER

POUND THE GREATEST BOXER OF ALLTIME.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU PLAYCHESS.

>> I LOVE CHESS, STEPHEN.

THE SWEET SCIENCE.

>> Stephen: FLOYD, MY FRIEND,IS CHESS AS DANGEROUS AS THE SAN

FRANCISCO POLICE SAY?

>> IT CAN BE, STEPHEN, BUT WITHTRAINING, CHESS CAN BE A

SYMPHONY OF TACTICS, SKILLS, ANDCREATIVITY.

>> Stephen: IT SOUND TO MELIKE IT'S A SYMPHONY OF DRUGS,

VICE PRESIDENCY, AND BARBECUE.

( LAUGHTER )>> STEPHEN, THERE ARE ALWAYS

GOING TO BE SOME BAD APPLES ONTHE CHESS BOARD.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO UNDERSTAND,FOR KIDS IN A TOUGH

NEIGHBORHOOD, CHESS IS THE ONLYWAY OUT.

THEY CAN PICK UP THE GAME FORTHE WRONG REASONS-- MONEY,

WOMEN, FAME, HOW IT LOOKS ON ACOLLEGE APPLICATION.

>> Stephen: FLOYD, HOW DIDYOU STAY STRAIGHT?

>> WELL, I WAS LUCKY.

MY FATHER BUT A BISHOP IN MYHAND WHEN I WAS THREE.

BY THE TIME I WAS SIX, I CHECKMATED A MAN TWICE WHIE SIZE.

>> Stephen: SPEAKING OFWHICH, MY FRIEND, YOU HAVE A BIG

GAME COMING UP FACING WORLDCHAMPION MAGNUS CARLSEN, IN

REYKJAVIK, ICELAND.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM MAGNUS?

>> YOU KNOW MY BOY MAGNUS ISVERY AGGRESSIVE.

HE BRINGS HIS QUEEN OUT EARLY.

>> Stephen: BOLD MOVE, HOW DOYOU THINK YOU'LL RESPOND?

>> MOST LIKELY, I'LL PUNCH HIMIN THE FACE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHY YOU'RETHE CHAMP!

FLOYD MAYWEATHER, EVERYBODY!