Joe Barton's Misconstrued Misconstruction

Aired:  06/21/10 Views: 24,031

Joe Barton apologizes for his misconstrued misconstruction, and pundits call the BP escrow account unconstitutional. (3:42)

EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, I AM PRETTY SURE THAT

THERE IS A NOBEL PRIZE IN MY

FUTURE BECAUSE I HAVE DISCOVERED

AN INEXHAUSTIBLE SOURCE OF

RENEWABLE ENERGY.

MY RAGE AT B.P.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THIS SATURDAY, FOLKS, B.P.

C.E.O. TONY HAYWARD TOOK TIME

OUT FROM HIS BUSY SCHEDULE OF

MAKING TURTLES EXTINCT TO ATTEND

A YACHT RACE IN ENGLAND.

[AUDIENCE BOOS]

NO WONDER HE WANTED HIS LIFE

BACK BECAUSE IT LOOKS PRETTY

SWEET.

SO EVERYBODY HATES TONY, WHICH

IS BAD NEWS FOR TEXAS

CONGRESSMAN JOE BARTON, BECAUSE

LAST THURSDAY HE SAID THIS TO

HAYWARD.

>> I THINK IT IS A TRAGEDY OF

THE FIRST PROPORTION THAT A

PRIVATE CORPORATION CAN BE

SUBJECTED TO WHAT I WOULD

CHARACTERIZE AS A SHAKEDOWN, IN

THIS CASE A $20 BILLION

SHAKEDOWN.

I APOLOGIZE.

[AUDIENCE BOOS]

>> Stephen: THEN TO SECURE HIS

POPULARITY, BARTON PUNCHED AN

ORPHAN WITH A BOXING GLOVE MADE

OF KITTENS.

NOW, WHAT BARTON SAID SHOCKED

THE NATION.

EVEN REPUBLICANS LIKE JOHN

BOEHNER BACKED AWAY SO FAST,

YOU'D THINK BARTON HAD SAID IT

IN SPANISH.

[LAUGHTER]

SO BARTON THEN APOLOGIZE FOR HIS

APOLOGY.

>> I WANT THE RECORD TO BE

ABSOLUTELY CLEAR THAT I THINK

B.P. IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS

ACCIDENT.

IF ANYTHING I SAID THIS MORNING

HAS BEEN MISCONSTRUED TO THE

OPPOSITE EFFECT, I WANT TO

APOLOGIZE FOR THAT MISCONSTRUED

MISCONSTRUCTION.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: COINCIDENTALLY,

MISCONSTRUED MISCONSTRUCTION IS

ALSO THE NAME OF THE COMPANY

THAT B.P. HIRED TO BUILD THE

WELL.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT... I PERSONALLY, FOLKS, I'M

NOT SURE BARTON SHOULD APOLOGIZE

FOR HIS APOLOGY.

A LOT OF PUNDITS ARE ON THE

FENCE WITH ME.

>> I THINK THAT JOE BARTON,

BEFORE HE APOLOGIZED, HAD A

LEGITIMATE POINT.

>> ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU GET

CALLED INTO THE WHITE HOUSE, AND

YOU GET SHAKED DOWN.

>> IT SEEMS TO ME THERE'S A

MISREADING OF THE CONSTITUTION

AND A MISUNDERSTANDING OF

JURISDICTIONAL LIMITS FROM THIS

WHITE HOUSE ON WHAT THE EXTENT

OF EXECUTIVE POWER IS.

>> I'M NOT SURE IF THE PELICANS

WERE IMPORTANT IN THE

CONSTITUTION, FRANKLIN.

I DON'T THINK IT IS.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT, BEN STEIN.

THERE IS ONLY ONE CONSTITUTION.

THERE ARE AT LEAST THREE

PELICANS LEFT.

IT IS CLEARLY A SHAKEDOWN,

FOLKS.

NO OIL COMPANY WOULD EVER

VOLUNTARILY DO THE RIGHT THING.

THIS $20 BILLION ESCROW ACCOUNT

IS A VIOLATION OF CASHTUTITIONAL

RIGHTS.

>> YOU ALSO HAVE THE ASPECT OF

THIS PRESIDENT ACTUALLY MORE OR

LESS ORDERING THIS COMPANY TO

SET ASIDE $20 MILLION WITHOUT

DUE PROCESS.

>> YOU CAN'T STRIP THE COMPANY

OF ASSETS ON THE NOD OF THE

PRESIDENT.

>> THERE'S NO DUE PROCESS.

>> Stephen: NO DUE PROCESS.

THAT IS A VIOLATION OF THE

CONSTITUTION.

YOU CAN'T JUST SEIZE $20 BILLION

AND LOCK IT AWAY WITHOUT A

TRIAL.

IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A PERSON.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, LUCKILY, LUCKILY TONY

HAYWARD IS.

SO, OBAMA, DO THE RIGHT THING,

LET THAT MONEY GO, AND LOCK UP

JEEVES HERE.

[APPLAUSE] AND YOU KNOW WHERE

YOU COULD PUT HIM?

GUANTANAMO BAY.

BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T CLOSED IT

YET, AND NO ONE'S ASKING YOU

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