Tip/Wag - Apple-Samsung Lawsuit & Tabloid Clash

  • Aired:  09/18/12
  •  | Views: 30,374

Samsung shamelessly steals a proprietary Apple design breakthrough, and two so-called news sources betray the public trust. (3:27)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

NATION, FOLKS, I WANT YOU TO LET GO OF YOUR PREJUDICES AND THEN REPLACE THEM WITH MINE.

(LAUGHTER) THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT, WAG OF THE FINGER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) FOLKS, I'M AN APPLE DEVOE TAE, IN FACT, I'M THRILLED TO SEE A JURY AWARD ONE BILLION DOLLARS

TO A UNTIL A PATENT LAWSUIT AGAINST SAMSUNG WHO SHAMELESSLY STOLE A PROPRIETARY APPLE DESIGN BREAK THROUGH.

>> IF YOU LOOK AT THE SHAPE OF THE IPHONE, WHICH WE'RE ALL FAMILIAR WITH NOW, ENOUGH RECTANGULAR SHAPE WITH ROUPBED CORNERS.

APPLE SAYS THEY PATENTED THAT DESIGN.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT!

APPLE HOLDS A PATENT ON RECTANGLES WITH ROUNDED CORNERS.

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S IN ADDITION TO THE PATENT THEY ALREADY HOLD ON THE CONDESCENDING LOOK THEY GIVE PEOPLE WITH BLACKBERRIES.

(LAUGHTER) WHICH IS WHY I'M GIVING A BIG TIP OF MY HAT TO APPLE FOR CORNERING THE MARKET ON ROUNDED CORNERS.

(LAUGHTER) PATENT SYSTEM INE QUINT FOR MODERN TECHNOLOGY BUT THOSE PEOPLE ARE JUST SQUARES WHO HAD BETTER HAVE EXACTLY EQUAL SIZE

OR THEY'LL BE HEARING FROM APPLE'S LAWYERS.

(LAUGHTER) FOLKS, THIS IS JUST WHAT THE MARKETPLACE NEEDS TO SPUR INNOVATION!

WHAT BOLD NON-EUCLIDIAN SHAPES WILL MANUFACTURERS BE FORCED TO COME UP WITH TO AVOID ROUNDED RECTANGLES?

MAYBE THE MOTOROLA MOBIUS OR THE NOKIA HERBAR.

NEXT, FOLKS, THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY HAS FALLEN ON DESPERATE TIMES WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS THE NEW NAME OF "U.S.A. TODAY."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) SADLY, SADLY THE LAST TWO NEWS SOURCES I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST HAVE SHAKEN MY FAITH IN PUBLISHING.

SO TONIGHT I'M ISSUING TWIN WAGS OF MY FINGERS TO "LIFE AND STYLE" AND "US WEEKLY." I KNOW, THE BIG DOGS.

BUT FOLKS, I HAVE TO.

BECAUSE IN THE LATEST "US" WEEKLY THEY REPORTED "AMERICAN IDOL" WINNER JORDIN SPARKS WORE IT BEST OVER "X FACT" JUDGE DEMI

LOVATO BY 91-9.

THAT'S A LANDSLIDE NOT SEEN SINCE REAGAN WORE IT BETTER THAN MONDALE!

(LAUGHTER) NATION, 91-9 IS A CLEAR MANDATE FOR SPARKS.

BUT THEN I OPEN MY SUBSCRIPTION TO "LIFE AND STYLE" ONLY TO FIND OUT THEY CLAIMED IT WAS LOVATO WHO-- AND I QUOTE-- ROCKED IT!

NATION, IF ONE WEARS IT BEST, IT LOGICALLY FOLLOWS THEY ALSO ROCKED IT.

THESE SO-CALLED NEWS ORGANIZATIONS HAVE BETRAYED THE PUBLIC TRUST.

(LAUGHTER) I COUNT ON THEM TO TELL ME WHICH LADY I DON'T KNOW OUTDRESSED WHICH WOMAN I VAGUELY RECOGNIZE

FROM SOMETHING.

(LAUGHTER) AMERICA IS A COUNTRY OF CLEAR WINNERS AND LOSERS.

WE THE PEOPLE DEMAND TO KNOW WHO'S THE PRINCESS AND WHO LOOKED LIKE A HUNCHBACKED SOW COVERED IN HER OWN FILTH.

(LAUGHTER) SO GET IT TOGETHER, SUPERMARKET TABLOIDS.

BECAUSE IF YOUR JOURNALISTIC STANDARDS FALL MUCH FURTHER YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO WORK FOR "NEWSWEEK." (AUDIENCE REACTS)

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Loading...