Spiteful Partisanship

  • Aired:  05/08/13
  •  | Views: 17,957

Pat Toomey reveals that some Republicans disagree with President Obama just to disagree with him, not because they oppose green energy or gun control. (6:36)

IT'S NOT.

I DON'T KNOW.

OR MAYBE IT HAD NOTHING TO DO

WITH THE CANDIDATE.

AFTER ALL, THE FIRST DISTRICT IS

A SOLIDLY REPUBLICAN STRONGHOLD.

AND I KNOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO

STICK WITH YOUR TEAM NO MATTER

WHAT.

THAT'S WHY EVERY FOOTBALL SEASON

I PUT MY MONEY ON THE BALTIMORE

COLTS.

IT IS COMEBACK TIME, JOHNNY U!

THE POINT IS, IN POLITICS, IT IS

US VERSUS THEM.

BUT APPARENTLY SOME OF THEM HAVE

THE NERVE TO CALL THEM US.

HOW DARE THEM.

AND, FOLKS, I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED

IN PARTISANSHIP BUT NOW THAT

IT'S COST MY SISTER A SEAT IN

CONGRESS, I HAVE MY DOUBTS.

AFTER ALL, PARTISANSHIP HAS MADE

IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR

ANYTHING TO GET DONE IN

WASHINGTON.

CONGRESS CAN'T RAISE THE DEBT

CEILING.

THEY CAN'T PASS A BUDGET.

AND THE HOUSE SPENT ALL LAST

WEEK DEBATING WHETHER THEY ARE

DEAD LOCKED OR GRIDLOCKED UNTIL

THEY FINALLY REACHED A

STALEMATE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NOW, SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE BLAME

THIS ON RIFTS WITHIN THE

REPUBLICAN PARTY.

FOR INSTANCE, THE

G.O.P.-CONTROLLED HOUSE TOOK TWO

DAYS TO PASS LEGISLATION THAT

EXTENDED THE GOVERNMENT'S HELIUM

RESERVES WHICH DEMOCRATS WOULD

HAVE ALLOWED THEM TO PASS BY

UNANIMOUS VOICE VOTE.

BUT YOU CAN'T PASS A HELIUM BILL

BY VOICE VOTE.

IT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING.

(HELIUM VOICE.

) THE GENTLEMAN FROM MISSISSIPPI

VOTES WHEEEEEE!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

[BLEEP] MARK SANFORD.

NOW, FOLKS, OF COURSE OTHER

PEOPLE SAY IT'S OBAMA'S FAULT

LIKE "NEW YORK TIMES" COLUMNIST

MAUREEN DOWD WHO RECENTLY WROTE

THE JOB OF THE FORMER COMMUNITY

ORGANIZER AND SELF-STYLED UNITER

IS TO SOMEHOW GET CONGRESS TO DO

THE STUFF HE WANTS THEM TO DO.

IT'S CALLED LEADERSHIP.

YES, THE DEFINITION OF

LEADERSHIP IS GETTING PEOPLE WHO

DESPISE YOU TO WORK WITH YOU.

IT'S ALSO THE DEFINITION OF THE

EAGLES.

SO OBVIOUSLY THERE'S PLENTY OF

BLAME TO GO AROUND, FOLKS,

INCLUDING BLAMING -- AND I CAN'T

BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS -- THE

VOTERS.

BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW STUDY IN

THE PROCEEDINGS OF THE NATIONAL

ACADEMY OF SCIENCES OR P-NAS

THAT SAYS PARTISANSHIP GOES

DEEPER THAN WE THOUGHT.

>> LIBERAL AND CONSERVATIVE

STUDY PARTICIPANTS WERE GIVEN

TWO BUCKS TO SPEND ON A LIGHT

BULB AND HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A

50 CENT INCAN CECENT BULB OR THE

$1.50 COMPACT FLUORESCENT BULK.

BOTH CHOSE THE EFFICIENT BULB

BUT IF IT WAS LABELED WITH A

STICKER THAT SAID PROTECT THE

ENVIRONMENT THOSE WHO IDENTIFIED

THEMSELVES AS POLITICALLY

MODERATE OR CONSERVATIVE WERE

LESS LIKELY TO BUY THAT LIGHT

BULB.

>> Stephen: OF COURSE THEY WON'T

BUY IT NOW ITS A LIBERAL LIGHT

BULB.

IT WILL LET YOU SCREW IT IN

BEFORE YOU'RE MARRIED TO IT.

BUT IF WE'RE ALL ON TEAMS NOW,

TO GET CONSERVATIVES TO BUY

ECO-PRODUCTS, YOU'RE GOING TO

HAVE TO SAY THEY'RE BAD FOR THE

PLANET.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO BUY 7th

GENERATION RECYCLED TOILET PAPER

BUT WE'LL LINE UP IN DROVES FOR

FIRST GENERATION SEQUOIA MURDER

NOW WITH 20% MORE SEAL PUP.

AND I MAY BE A MAN, BUT I WILL

BUY A CRATE OF TAMPONS IF THE

BOX FEATURES A CRYING BARACK

OBAMA.

HE'S SAD, HE'S SAD BECAUSE ALL

THE HORMONES IN THE WATER SUPPLY

NOW MAKE ME MENSTRUATE.

FOLKS, THIS CUTTING OFF OUR NOSE

TO SPITE THE OTHER GUY'S FACE

GOES BEYOND LIGHT BULBS.

A RECENT GALLUP POLL ON GUN

CONTROL FOUND THAT 73% OF

REPUBLICANS WOULD VOTE TO EXPAND

BACKGROUND CHECKS BUT A SECOND

GALLUP POLL FOUND THAT 50% OF

REPUBLICANS APPROVED THE SENATE

NOT PASSING BACKGROUND CHECKS.

THAT MEANS 23% OF REPUBLICANS

ARE HAPPY THAT THE SENATE VOTED

AGAINST THE BACKGROUND CHECKS

THAT THOSE SAME 23% WOULD HAVE

VOTED FOR.

WELL, I CERTAINLY HOPE THEY

WROTE THEIR SENATORS A NICE

THANK YOU THREAT.

AND THE REPUBLICAN COSPONSOR OF

THE BILL PAT TOO MANIY KNOWS HOW

THIS IS POSSIBLE.

>> THERE WERE PEOPLE ON MY SIDE

WHO DID NOT WANT TO PERCEIVED TO

BE HELPING SOMETHING THAT THE

PRESIDENT WANTS TO ACCOMPLISH

SIMPLY BECAUSE IT'S THE

PRESIDENT WHO WANTS TO

ACCOMPLISH IT.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

IF THE PRESIDENT GOES LEFT, WE

GO RIGHT.

HE ZIGS, WE REFUSE TO RAISE THE

DEBT LIMIT AND DESTROY THE

GLOBAL ECONOMY.

BUT DON'T GET SMUG, DEMOCRATS.

BECAUSE IN 2009, 72% OF

DEMOCRATS SUPPORTED OBAMA'S PLAN

TO CLOSE GUANTANAMO WITHIN A

YEAR.

BUT AFTER OBAMA BACKED OFF, ONLY

32% OF DEMOCRATS WANTED TO CLOSE

IT.

THAT'S WHAT I CALL A FLIP FLOP.

UNLESS THE PRESIDENT CALLS IT

THAT, IN WHICH CASE I CALL IT

INTEGRITY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

I LOVE IT.

OKAY.

SO MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, IT'S TIME

EVERYBODY OUT THERE STOPS BASING

EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE ON...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

... ON PARTY AFFILIATION.

INSTEAD ADMIT THAT EVERY ONCE IN

A WHILE, YOU MIGHT AGREE WITH

THE OTHER SIDE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT ALL OF YOU

PEOPLE, OF COURSE, NOT ME.

I MAKE A LIVING ATTACKING PEOPLE

WITHOUT THOUGHT.

FOR INSTANCE, THE LIBERAL

GLUTEN-FREE AGENDA IS TURNING

OUR DOGS LESBIAN.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.