A Teacup Pig & Partisan Politics

  • Aired:  06/07/12
  •  | Views: 13,826

Americans are more polarized along partisan lines than at any point in the last 25 years, but one little piglet named Hamlet could mend the divide. (3:26)

HIS GUOCAMOLE, WHAT AN

[BLEEP].

BUT I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW, FOLKS.

I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED, I GUESS.

THIS COUNTRY HAS NEVER BEEN MORE DIVIDED.

A RECENT POLL BY PEW RESEARCH FOUND THAT AMERICANS ARE MORE POLARIZED ALONG PARTISAN LINES THAN AT

ANY POINT IN THE LAST 25 YEARS.

I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

HOW DID WE END UP HERE.

WHERE IS OUR SENSE OF COMMUNITY.

THAT RECOGNITION OF OUR SHARED VALUES THAT WE HAD DURING WORLD WAR II THAT

ALLOWED US TO COME TOGETHER AS A NATION AND IN TURN INTER THOSE JAPANESE AMERICANS.

ISN'T THERE SOMETHING,

ANYTHING THAT ALL AMERICANS REQUEST AGREE ON?

WELL, FOLKS, I MAY HAVE FOUND IT.

IT'S THIS VIDEO OF A TEA CUP PIG NAMED HAMLET, GOING DOWN THE STAIRS FOR A BOWL OF OATMEAL.

AND IT MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF FOOTAGE YOU SEE THIS YEAR.

JIM.

>> OATMEAL.

>> COME ON, HAMLET.

>> Stephen: OH, HE WANTS THAT OATMEAL SO BAD BUT HE'S TOO AFRAID.

COME ON, HAMLET, COME ON, WE BELIEVE IN YOU.

COME ON, BUDDY OMENT ONE STEP AT A TIME.

YOU'RE DOING IT.

EYE OF THE TIGER, HAMLET.

DON'T GIVE UP NOW.

YOU'RE SO CLOSE.

ALL THE WAY, AND-- , AND-- COME ON RIGHT IN THE BOWL!

OH, HOW ABOUT IT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: EAT YOUR HEART OUT O HAMLET, YOU CAN DO IT!

OH, FOLKS, I DON'T THINK I'M OVERSTATING IT.

WHEN I SAY THAT TODAY WE ARE ALL HAMLETS.

-- FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT THAT LITTLE PIG IS SO ADORABLE I'M GOING HAVE

TROUBLE EATING MY SUNDAY BACON.

WHICH YOU KNOW IS PROBABLY EXACTLY WHAT THE VEGANS WANT.

OH MY GOD T IS NOTHING BUT A LIBERAL ANTI-MEAT PROPAGANDA!

I SHOULD HAVE FLOWN IT WHEN THEY ENDED IT WITH A HEART HEALTHY WHOLE GRAIN

BREAKFAST, WAIT, WEIGHTS,

WAIT, NO, WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING.

IT IS JUST AN INNOCENT VIDEO OF AN ADORABLE PINK PIG TROUNCING OVER LONG ODDS.

PINK?

HAMLET'S A GUY'S NAME.

THAT'S A GAY PIG.

THEY'VE DONE IT AGAIN!

IS NOTHING SAFE FROM THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA, EVEN MY PORK SAUCEAGE?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M SORRY, NO.

NO.

NO, NO, NO NO.

PULL IT TOGETHER, COLBERT.

IT'S JUST A PIG EATING AT A LITTLE TROV JUST LIKE WELFARE QUEEN SUCKING AT THE

GOVERNMENT TEETS.

AND NOTICE HE'S BEING HELPED DOWN THE STAIRS AM I'M SURPRISE THE GOVERNMENT

DIDN'T MANDATE A PIG WHEELCHAIR RAMP.

PICK YOURSELF UP BY YOUR OWN HOOVE STRAPS.

I GUESS I WAS WRONG, FOLKS,

WHAT I THOUGHT WAS A CUTE LITTLE PIG IS JUST ANOTHER SYMBOL OF THE INTERNATIONAL

SOCIALIST CONSPIRACY JUST LIKE THAT HANG IN THERE CAT.

WE GET T YOU WANT THE REST OF US TO PAY FOR YOUR RESCUE WITH A TAXPAYER FUNDED FIREMAN.

GET A JOB, FLUFFY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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