Rockin' Government Shutdown Eve

  • Aired:  09/30/13
  •  | Views: 61,282

Thanks to the government being unable to agree on a resolution to fund itself, the government will shut down at midnight. (2:00)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE"REPORT," LADI

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN").

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU SO MUCH.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I DON'TKNOW HOW YOU KNEW IT, I DON'T

KNOW HOW YOU POSSIBLY KNEW IT,BUT THAT IS MY FAVORITE

CHRISTMAS CAROL.

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THIS COULD BE THE GREATEST NIGHTOF MY LIFE BECAUSE THANKS TO THE

GOVERNMENT BEING UNABLE TO AGREEON A RESOLUTION TO FUND ITSELF,

THE GOVERNMENT WILL SHUT DOWN ATMIDNIGHT.

JIMMY?

PUT UP THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

NEVER LEARNED SOMEHOW-TO-SETTHAT THING.

HOLD DOWN ONE OF THESE BUTTONSAND I PUSH THAT.

I'VE GOT TO CALL MY NEPHEW, HAVEHIM COME OVER.

(LAUGHTER)ANYWAY, TRUST ME, WE ARE

COUNTING DOWN TONIGHT.

JUST LOOK ALL OVER CABLE NEWS.

ALL THE NUMBERS ARE GETTINGSMALLER!

FOX NEWS HAS ONE; MSNBC HAS ONE;CNN IS COUNTING DOWN-- THOUGH

THAT MIGHT JUST BE THE NUMBER OFTHEIR REMAINING VIEWERS.

(LAUGHTER)I ONLY WISH THAT RONNIE REAGAN

WERE ALIVE TO SEE THIS LOOMINGSHUTDOWN BECAUSE WHO CAN FORGET

WHAT HE SAID.

>> THE NINE MOST TERRIFYINGWORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

ARE: I'M FROM THE GOVERNMENT ANDI'M HERE TO HELP.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: WELL, GOOD NEWS.

GOOD NEWS, RONNIE, BECAUSE COMEMIDNIGHT TONIGHT THOSE NINE

WORDS WILL BE: I'M FROM THE

Loading...