Sport Report - Swimming Pools for Football Fans & Governors' Hockey Wager

  • Aired:  06/10/14
  •  | Views: 27,033

The Jacksonville Jaguars upgrade their stadium with swimming pools, and Governors Andrew Cuomo and Jerry Brown agree to a low-stakes hockey bet. (6:51)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

THANKS SO MUCH.

YOU KNOW, WHEN IT COMES TO THEWORLD OF SPORTS, EVERYBODY

ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT THE THRILL OFVICTORY AND THE AGONY OF DEFEAT,

BUT NOBODY EVER MENTIONS THE"MEH" OF A TIE.

THIS IS THE SPORT REPORT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

FIRST UP, FIRST UP, NATION, ILOVE WATCHING FOOTBALL, OR

IF FOOTBALL'S NOT AVAILABLE, THE

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS, A TEAMTHAT'S WON ONLY 11 GAMES IN THE

LAST THREE YEARS BUT HAS A BOLDNEW PLAN TO PUT BUTTS IN THE

SEATS BY TAKING OUT THE SEATS.

>> THE JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS'FANS WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH GAMES

THIS SEASON SITTING IN ASWIMMING POOL

WHILE THE TEAM WAS UPGRADING THESTADIUM.

THEY HAD A BRILLIANT IDEA.

>> THEY ADDED TWO POOLS ALONGWITH 16 CABANAS.

>> Stephen: YES, POOLS, THEPERFECT PLACE TO KICK BACK AND

WATCH A FOOTBALL GAME, AT LEASTUNTIL THEY PUT HAMMOCKS BETWEEN

THE UPRIGHTS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING HIT BYFIELD GOALS, BECAUSE AGAIN, IT'S

THE JAGUARS.

NOW, THE CABANA PACKAGE...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]A LOT OF JAGUAR FANS HERE

TONIGHT.

THE CABANA PACKAGE COSTS A MERE$12,500 PER GAME, INCLUDES 50

TICKETS AND IS ALL YOU CAN EATAND DRINK, OF COURSE, YOU WILL

HAVE TO WAIT AN HOUR AFTEREATING BEFORE GETTING INTO THE

POOL, BUT ONCE YOU DO, DRINK ALLTHE BEER YOU WANT BECAUSE YOU'RE

ALREADY IN THE BATHROOM.

NATURALLY THIS BOLD PLAN RAISESA LOT OF QUESTIONS, LIKE WHY?

AND REALLY, WHY?

THE TEAM'S SENIOR VICE PRESIDENTOF SALES EXPLAINS, WE WANTED TO

TAKE AREAS IN OUR STADIUM THATWERE UNDERPERFORMING AND GET

CREATIVE.

POOLS ARE A GOOD START, BUT THEYSHOULD ALSO TACKLE THE STADIUM'S

MOST UNDERPERFORMING AREA, THATGREEN LINEY SPACE IN THE MIDDLE.

LET'S GET CREATIVE IN THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE, MAYBE PUTA PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TEAM ON

THAT THING.

AND THE NEW PLAN ALSO CALLS FORTHE WORLD'S LARGEST HD LED

VIDEO SCREENS, WHICH WILL BESHOWING A CONSTANT STREAM OF THE

NFL RED ZONE FEED, SO FANS CANWATCH THE JAGUARS WHILE KEEPING

UP WITH THE REST OF THE LEAGUEOR TRACKING THEIR FANTASY TEAM.

WHICH FOR JAGUAR FANS IS ANYOTHER TEAM.

[LAUGHTER]NEXT UP ON THE SPORT REPORT,

HOCKEY.

OR AS SOME CALL IT, ICE SOCCER.

OR AS I CALL IT, COLD BORING.

[LAUGHTER]THE NEW YORK RANGERS AND THE

L.A. KINGS ARE BATTLING IT OUTIN THE STANLEY CUP FINALS.

AS ALWAYS...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]>> YEAH.

AS ALWAYS, MY MONEY'S ON THECANADIAN TEAM, BUT THE REAL

COMPETITION HERE IS BETWEEN THEGOVERNORS WHO TRADITIONALLY BET

SOMETHING FROM THE TEAM'S HOMESTATE.

IN THIS CASE, IT'S CALIFORNIA'SGOVERNOR JERRY BROWN VERSUS NEW

YORK'S GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO.

AND THEY GOT A LOT RIDING ONTHIS SERIES.

>> IF THE RANGERS CELEBRATE LIKETHEY DID IN THE LAST ROUND,

CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR JERRY BROWNWILL SEND ANDREW CUOMO A BOX OF

ORGANIC CALIFORNIA RACE CAKES.

>> Stephen: AND BOOM GO THERICE CAKES. NEW YORK COULD WIN,

A WHOLE BOX OF ORGANIC RICECAKES AND FOR FLAVOR, GOVERNOR

BROWN IS MAILING IT IN A BOXFILLED WITH DELICIOUS PACKING

PEANUTS. I FOR ONE APPLAUD THEGOVERNOR'S CHOICE OF ORGANIC

RICE CAKES. THE ONLY THING MORESTEREOTYPICALLY JERRY BROWN

CALIFORNIA HE COULD HAVEWAGERED WOULD HAVE BEEN A WIND

CHIME MADE OUT OF RECYCLEDONE-HITTERS.

BUT THE STAKES, FOLKS, THESTAKES GET EVEN HIGHER IF NEW

YORK LOSES.

>> IF THE KINGS WIN, BROWN WILLGET A COMMEMORATIVE HOCKEY PUCK

CELEBRATING NEW YORK'S THREECONSECUTIVE ON-TIME BUDGETS.

>> Stephen:, NO, NO WE CAN'TLOSE NEW YORK'S LEGENDARY

THREE-ON-TIME BUDGET HOCKEY PUCK WHICH WAS COMMISSIONED BY

GOVERNOR CUOMO IN 2013 TOCOMMEMORATE HIS HAT TRICK OF

FULFILLING THE BASIC OBLIGATIONSOF HIS OFFICE.

IT'S OUR PROUDEST TROPHY OFGOVERNMENTAL

SELF-CONGRATULATION SINCEGOVERNOR AL SMITH'S "WE HAVE

PAVED ROADS" BASEBALL BAT.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]AT LEAST WE CAN TAKE SOME

COMFORT IN THE FACT THATGOVERNOR CUOMO IS STILL FIRMLY

IN POSSESSION OF THE BASEBALLTHAT COMMEMORATES THIS YEAR'S

GRAND SLAM FOURTH ON-TIMEBUDGET.

ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHAT ABASEBALL HAS DO WITH THE BUDGET.

IT'S NOT A PUCK.

[LAUGHTER]THINK, THINK IF YOU CAN, THINK

OF WHAT THE LOSS OF THIS PUCKWOULD MEAN TO NEW YORK'S TOURISM

INDUSTRY.

MILLIONS HAVE COME FROM ALL OVERTHE WORLD TO MARVEL AT OUR THREE

ON-TIME BUDGETS.

IT'S EVEN IN OUR SONG.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]♪ START SPREADING THE NEWS

I'M LEAVING TODAY♪ I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT

HAPPENED♪ THREE ON-TIME BUDGETS

I WANT TO WAKE UP♪ IN A STATE THAT'S GOT THE

STANLEY CUP♪ OR IF WE DO LOSE A GAME

STILL KEEP OUR PUCK♪ OUR STATE'S FISCAL BLUES

HAVE MELTED AWAY♪ THANKS TO THE BOLD LEADERSHIP

OF GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO♪ AND HIS MAGIC PUCK

WE'VE GOT TO KEEP OUR PUCK♪ WHO WANTS RICE CAKES?

WHAT THE [BLEEPED]♪ I'D RATHER EAT OUR BUDGET

PUCK ♪♪WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

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