"Gang of Eight" Immigration Reform Bill

  • Aired:  06/27/13
  •  | Views: 20,082

The "Gang of Eight" pushes an immigration bill through the Senate with promises of a "border surge." (3:07)

>> HEY, WELCOME BACK.

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK, TO MORE OF EL

SHOWO.

WHY AM I SPEAKING SPANISH?

BECAUSE I WAS JUST HANDED

THIS EL PAPERO T SAYS

BREAKING NEWS, AMERICA IS

OVER.

>> IT PASSED.

THE LANDMARK IMMIGRATION

BILL-PASSED.

68 TO 32.

>> Stephen: IMMIGRATION

REFORM HAS PASSED THE

SENATE.

I DIDN'T THINK THAT BILL HAD

A CHANCE IN CONGRESS.

IN THAT IT WAS A BILL IN

CONGRESS.

THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING,

FOLKS.

ONLY THE BEGINNING.

TODAY IT'S AMNESTY.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW TACO

BELL IS SERVING MEXICAN

FOOD.

REMEMBER THE ALAMO.

THIS SU RENDER COMES

COURTESY OF| A GROUP OF

SENATORS CALLING THEMSELVES

THE GANG OF EIGHT.

NO SURPRISE.

YOU LET IN THE MEXICANOES

AND BEFORE YOU CAN SAY BIB

LEO TECHA THE SENATE RUN BY

A GANG, I MEAN LOOK AT THESE

GUYS.

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF

THEY WERE SMUGGLING IN

PREMIUM UNCUT FLOMAX.

SO JUST WHO ARE THEY?

JIMMY, JUICE IT!

>> McCAIN, THE MAVERICK.

MENENDEZ, THE MAYBE MEXICAN

ONE.

GRAHAM, THE HE IS DUCK TRES.

RUBBIO, MR. THIRSTY.

SCHUMER, BIG DADDY SHUM.

>> BLAKE, THE ONE YOU JUST

HEARD OF.

AND THE REST.

GANG OF EIGHT.

>> NOW THE BOYS OVER HERE

HERE-- THINK-- THAT'S GOING

TO BE A SERIES ON ITS

NOSTALGIA CHANNEL.

THE BOYS OVER HERE THINK

THEY CAN GET CONSERVATIVES

LIKE ME TO SWALLOW THEIR

AMNESTY EARNING LANDA BY

INCLUDING SO-CALLED SECURITY

MEASURES OTHERWISE KNOWN AS

A BORDER SURGE.

NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG, I

LIKE THE IDEA OF A SURGE, IT

WORKED IN IRAQ.

YOU HARDLY SEE ANY MEXICAN

SNEAKING INTO BAGHDAD.

BUT IT'S NOT NEARLY ENOUGH,

FOLKS.

THIS PLAN WOULD MERELY

DOUBLE THE BORDER PATROL

WITH ONE AGENT EVERY

THOUSAND FEET.

NO SIR!

WE NEED THEM EVERY THREE

FEET THAT WAY THEY CAN LINK

ARMS AND CALL OUT RED ROVER

RED ROVER DON'T LET FRANCIS

COCOME OVER.

NO IMMIGRANT SHOULD GET

CITIZENSHIP IN THIS COUNTRY

UNTIL WE KNOW THE BORDER IS

SEALED.

AND I'M NOT JUST TALKING

ABOUT THE MEXICAN BORDER,

FOLKS, I'M TALKING ABOUT ANY

BORDER AND THAT INCLUDES

SOMEBODY COLORING OUTSIDE

THE LINES ON A DENNY'S PLACE

MAT.

SORRY JOSE BUT YOU CAN'T GET

YOUR GREEN CARD BECAUSE

MARIA DREW A BLUE SUN.

NATION, SOMEONE HAS GOT TO

ANSWER FOR THIS MADNESS.

WHEN WE RETURN, I WILL GET

SOMEONE TO ANSWER FOR THIS

MADNESS.

SENATOR AND EL JEFE DELOS

HOMBRES DE LA OCHO, CHUCK

SCHUMER, WE'LL B

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