Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition - "Man of Steel" & "Iron Man 3"

  • Aired:  05/02/13
  •  | Views: 26,888

Some limey named Henry Cavill plays Superman, and "Iron Man 3" removes a negative Chinese connotation from its bonus footage. (3:43)

>> Stephen: NATION, I LOVE

MOVIE TRAILERS.

YOU GET ALL THE BOSTON PART

WITHOUT GETTING BOGGED DOWN BY

PLOT AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTS,

BUT THE MOVIES THEMSELVES?

THEY ARE DESTROYING AMERICA

♪ ♪ ♪

SUMMER MOVIE EDITION.

INFORMATION, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A

HUGE FAN OF SUPERMAN, AN

INCREDIBLY HANDSOME,

GLASSES-WEARING REPORTER WHO

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT USES I HAD

SUPER POWERS TO SAVE AMERICA.

( LAUGHTER )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WHICH IS WHY I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT

THE NEXT MOVIE DESTROYING

AMERICA "MAN OF STEEL."

FIRST OF ALL, SUPER MAN IS THE

QUINTESSENTIAL AMERICAN HERO YET

THEY GAVE THE PART TO SOME LIMEY

NAMED HENRY CALFLE.

JUST LISTEN TO HIM BLOW HIS OWN

CRUMPET WITH WEARING AMERICA'S

SUPER WARDROBE.

>> THE FIRST TIME I HAD IT ALL

ON WITH THE CAPE, I DELINEATELY

DIDN'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR AS IT

WAS GOING ON, BECAUSE I WANTED

TO HAVE TATURNAROUND MOMENT.

>> Stephen: OH, YOU KNOW THAT

TURNAROUND MOMENT WHEN YOU SEE

YOUR OWN REFLECTION AND YOU SAY,

"OH, I AM BEAUTIFUL.

I HAVE THE PRETTIEST CAPE AT THE

BALL.

I HOPE THE PRINCE PICKS ME.

BIPPIDY BOBBIDY BOO!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

NICE TRY, CLARK EARL OF KENT.

DO YOU BRITS EVEN NEED CAIPS?

YOU CAN JUST FLY AROUND WITH

YOUR MAGIC UMBRELLAS.

( LAUGHTER )

AND, FOLKS, JUST LOOK AT THIS

TRAILER, AND YOU WILL LOSE YOUR

LUNCH IN A SINGLE BOUND.

♪ ♪ ♪

>> WHAT DOES THE "S" STAND FOR?

>> IT'S NOT ANS"," IN MY WORLD

IT MEANS HOPE.

>> Stephen: THIS MEANS HOPE.

THEY'RE SAYING SUPERMAN IS

OBAMA.

( LAUGHTER )

THINK ABOUT IT.

THEY BOWES RISE FROM MISWESTERN

OBSCURITY, BECOME THE MOST

POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD, AND

IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, KRYPTON IS

THE CAPITAL OF KENYA.

SPEAKING OF "MAN OF STEEL,"

"IRON MAN 3".

WHILE I LOVED THE FIRST TWO

"IRON MANS" AND I LOVE THIS ONE

EVEN MORE, I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM

WITH THIS FILM, FOLKS.

YOU SEE TGOT FINANCE, FROM THE

CHINESE STUDIO D.M.G., AND TO

PAY BACK THEIR BEIJING

PUPPETMASTERS THE FILMMAKERS

MADE A CHINESE EDITION WITH

BONUS FOOT ANNUAL AND AN

APPEARANCE BY THEIR TOP ACTRESS

FAN BINGBING.

FOLKS, THAT MAKES MEANG-GRRKS

Y-GRY.

NOT ONLY THIS, BUT TO REMOVE A

NEGATIVE CHINESE CONNOTATION FOR

THE BAD GUY, THEY CHANGED HIS

NAME FROM "THE MANDARIN" TO "MAN

DERIN."

WHY IS THE IRON MAN FIGHTING THE

HUSBAND FROM "BEWITCHED."

NO SENSE.

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

WHEN WE RETURN, I WILL SIT DOWN

WITH THE ACTOR WHO PLAYS THE

MANDARIN.

SIR BEN KINGSLEY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.