Obama's Secretive Golf Outing

  • Aired:  02/19/13
  •  | Views: 16,587

America deserves to know who drove the golf cart, who rode shotgun and whether or not the president hit from the ladies' tee. (3:16)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANKS SO MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

FOLKS, WE ALL KNOW THAT THE OBAMA PRESIDENCY IS ONE OF THE MOST SECRETIVE IN HISTORY.

THERE HASN'T BEEN AN ADMINISTRATION THIS PRIVATE SINCE THE SECRET PRESIDENCY OF

ROCKY T. PENDERGRASS, WHO MADE HIS NAME BY INVADING TERABITHIA.

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T BELIEVE ME?

LOOK IT UP IN THE HISTORY BOOKS.

YOU WON'T FIND IT.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS DOING IT AGAIN.

>> DID YOU SEE THE PICTURES OF PRESIDENT OBAMA PLAYING GOLF WITH TIGER WOODS THIS WEEKEND?

NEITHER DID WE.

>> THE MEDIA COVERING THE PRESIDENT WAS SHUTOUT.

THE PRESS CORPS COMPLAINED.

>> FOX NEWS' ED HENRY SPEAKING IN HIS ROLE AS WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' ASSOCIATION

PRESIDENT SAID, "IT IS NOT ABOUT GOLF.

IT'S ABOUT TRANSPARENCY AND ACCESS IN A BROADER SENSE."

>> THE PRESIDENT SHOULD HAVE IN ALL FAIRNESS DUE TO TRANSPARENCY RELEASED SOME PHOTOGRAPHS OF

HIM EITHER TEEING OFF WITH TIGER OR PERHAPS WHEN THEY FINISHED.

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE TO SEE WHAT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS DOING.

>> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY.

THIS IS ABOUT TRANSPARENCY.

ABOUT A FREE PRESS HOLDING OUR LEADER ACCOUNTABLE.

I MEAN IT'S ONE THING TO KEEP US IN THE DARK ABOUT A FLEET OF FLYING ROBO-ASSASSINS.

BUT A ROUND OF GOLF ON YOUR DAY OFF?

WHERE'S THE JUDICIAL OVERSIGHT?

OH, I SUPPOSE WHITE HOUSE LAWYERS HAVE DRAWN UP SOME CONVOLUTED LEGAL JUSTIFICATION

FOR USING A FIVE-WOOD ON A PAR THREE!

THERE ARE A LOT OF HOLES IN THIS STORY, FOLKS.

SPECIFICALLY, 18.

AMERICA DESERVES TO KNOW!

WHO DROVE?

WHO RODE SHOTGUN?

DID THE PRESIDENT HIT FROM LADIES' TEE?

DID HE REPLACE HIS DIVOTS?

OR DID HE SEND SUSAN RICE TO COVER THEM UP?

[AUDIENCE REACTS]

[LAUGHTER]

YOU ARE JUST AS UPSET AS I AM.

I CAN TELL.

IT'S BAD!

BUT FOLKS, WATER-HAZARD-GATE-- TRADEMARK-- IS JUST THE TIP OF THE SECRETBERG.

NOT GONNA TRADEMARK THAT ONE.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS WHOLE EPISODE MAKES ME REALIZE JUST HOW LITTLE WE KNOW ABOUT WHAT THE PRESIDENT IS

DOING EVERY MOMENT.

BECAUSE I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY HE LOCKS HIMSELF ALONE

INSIDE A SMALL, TILED ROOM.

[LAUGHTER]

SOMETIMES HE ENTERS WITH GREAT URGENCY, ONLY TO EMERGE LATER WITH A LOOK OF SERENITY.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT DOES HE DO IN THERE?

ALL WE KNOW IS THAT BY THE TIME HE LEAVES THE SUDOKU IS FINISHED.

[LAUGHTER]

I KNOW -- I KNOW.

HE'S APOLL GIFTS SAY IT'S ALL INNOCENT BUT FOLKS THIS DOES NOT PASS THE SMELL TEST.

[AUDIENCE REACTS] AGAIN, I'M ANGRY AS WELL.

MR. PRESIDENT, OPEN THAT DOOR TO THE PRESS CORPS, OTHERWISE I CAN ONLY ASSUME YOU ARE SO

ARROGANTLY ANTI-DEMOCRATIC THAT YOU ARE IN THERE SITTING ON SOME SORT OF THROWN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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