Donald Trump's Creative Truth & Mitt Romney's Poll Numbers

  • Aired:  05/29/12
  •  | Views: 27,433

Donald Trump reveals Barack Obama's birthplace, and Mitt Romney must win over America's Sasquatch hunters and alien abductees. (5:05)

THE WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW AND MOTOR TREND CAR OF THE YEAR.

I WON'T TELL YOU WHERE, BUT I DO HAVE A CUP-HOLDER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT THERE WAS SOME DISTURBING NEWS OVER THE BREAK.

BARACK OBAMA IS STILL PRESIDENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OR IS HE?

BECAUSE REAL ESTATE BILLIONAIRE AND BASKETBALL WITH TOOTH VENEERS DONALD TRUMP HAS FOUND

NEW EVIDENCE THAT BARACK OBAMA WAS NOT BORN IN HAWAII.

NO SURPRISE TO ME.

I ALWAYS FOUND THAT WHOLE HAWAII THING PRETTY IMPLAUSIBLE.

BY THAT I MEAN, THE STATE OF HAWAII.

AND THEIR WORD FOR HELLO IS THE SAME AS GOODBYE?

BULL(bleep) -- OR AS THE HAWAIIANS SAY, "ALOHA."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I MEAN TRUMP'S NEW EVIDENCE IS OBAMA'S 1991 AUTHOR BIO THAT WAS

WRITTEN BY AN ASSISTANT AT A BOOK AGENCY THAT SAYS OBAMA "WAS BORN IN KENYA."

EVERYBODY'S SAYING THIS WAS JUST A CLERICAL ERROR.

BUT TRUMP KNOWS BETTER.

QUOTH DONALD "HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, SO HE TOLD THE TRUTH."

[ LAUGHTER ]

RIGHT.

BECAUSE TRUMP KNOWS WHEN YOU'RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, YOU GOTTA GET CREATIVE WITH THE TRUTH.

>> I HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BLACKS.

I'VE ALWAYS HAD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BLACKS.

>> Stephen: SEE?

THAT'S A BIT OF A STRETCH.

MAYBE NOT ALL THE BLACKS.

I'M SURE THERE'S A COUPLE WHO DON'T CARE FOR HIM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOW, I'M HAPPY TO SAY MITT ROMNEY IS NOT DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM TRUMP.

IN FACT, THEY ARE APPEARING TOGETHER TONIGHT AT A FUNDRAISER IN LAS VEGAS.

SIN CITY.

SOMEBODY'S DRINKING COFFEE TONIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OF COURSE, THIS COZINESS HAS LED TO CRITICISM FROM THE USUAL LEFTY LIBERALS LIKE ORIGINAL

DRUMMER FOR THE DEAD GEORGE WILL, WHO SAID THIS THIS WEEK ON

THIS WEEK'S "THIS WEEK." JIM?

>> THE COST OF APPEARING WITH THIS BLOVIATING IGNORAMUS IS OBVIOUS IT SEEMS TO ME.

DONALD TRUMP IS REDUNDANT EVIDENCE THAT IF YOUR NET WORTH IS HIGH ENOUGH, YOUR IQ CAN BE

VERY LOW AND YOU CAN STILL INTRUDE INTO AMERICAN POLITICS.

>> Stephen: YES, GEORGE.

[ APPLAUSE ]

I BELIEVE I'VE PROVEN THAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND TRUMP DID NOT TAKE IT WELL.

HE TWEET-HAMMERED GEORGE WITH "GEORGE WILL MAY BE THE DUMBEST(AND MOST OVERRATED)

POLITICAL COMMENTATOR OF ALL TIME." OF ALL TIME.

THAT INCLUDES THAT NUMB-NUTS.

CATO THE ELDER.

NO, JIMMY.

NOT CATO THE YOUNGER.

CATO THE ELDER.

YEAH, THIS DOUCHE NOZZLE.

"CARTHAGO DELENDA EST" MY ASS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

CATO THE ELDER FANS OUT THERE TONIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, NO, NO, NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT [SPEAKING SPANISH B.C.

B.C.

BESIDES, MITT CAN'T REPUDIATE THE DONALD.

HE HAS TO KEEP HIS EYE ON THE PRIZE.

>> YOU KNOW, I DON'T AGREE WITH ALL THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT ME,

AND I GUESS THEY DON'T ALL AGREE WITH EVERYTHING I BELIEVE IN.

BUT I NEED TO GET 50.1% OR MORE.

>> Steve: YES ACCORDING TO POT TICKS POLLS OBAMA LEADS MITT ROMNEY

POLLS OBAMA LEADS ROMNEY 45.6% TO ROMNEY'S 43.6%.

HOW'S MITT GONNA GET THAT TO 50.1%?

UP HERE?

HE'S ALREADY GOT THE FISCAL CONSERVATIVES AND THE SOCIAL CONSERVATIVES ALREADY MIXED IN.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH.

TRUMP GETS HIM THE BIRTHERS.

BUT NOW HE'S GOT TO REACH OUT TO THE 9-11 TRUTHERS

[ LAUGHTER ]

ALIEN ABDUCTEES

[ LAUGHTER ]

DOOMSDAY PREPPERS

[ LAUGHTER ]

SASQUATCH HUNTERS

[ LAUGHTER ]

SASQUATCHES OR SASQUEETCH.

(bleep) THAT'S STILL ONLY 50%.

THAT LAST TINY SLIVER IS GOING TO BE TOUGH.

WHO REPRESENTS SUCH A MINISCULE PORTION OF AMERICANS?

WAIT, I'VE GOT IT!

ALL MITT NEEDS ARE THE BLACKS WHO LIKE DONALD TRUMP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> WINNER IS ARREST SINO HALL!

DA

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