NASA Retires Discovery & Drops Spacebook

  • Aired:  04/25/12
  •  | Views: 10,516

The Discovery shuttle makes a final flight to the Smithsonian, and NASA loses the Spacebook race. (2:56)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

VERY NICE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN") (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU.

WELCOME TO THE "REPORT," GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

NATION, AS YOU KNOW, I LOVE SPACE EXPLORATION.

VENUS, JUPITER, PLANET HOLLYWOOD.

(LAUGHTER) I'M ALL FOR COLONIZING MARS IF IT HAS REALLY GOOD BUFFALO WINGS.

(LAUGHTER) AND I'M TOTALLY JACKED INTO THE SPACE SCENE.

I'VE TRAINED WITH NASA.

I'VE TALKED TO ASTRONAUTS IN ORBIT AND I HAVE A TREADMILL NAMED AFTER ME ON THE

INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I AM PRETTY MUCH THE BIGGEST NAME GOING IN SPACE.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO THE LATE CARL SAGAN, (BLEEP) YOU CARL SAGAN.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) IT'S PAINFUL OR ME TO WITNESS THE DISMANTLING OF THE SPACE

FLIGHT PROGRAM.

>> THE "DISCOVERY" IS PIGGYBACKING TO ITS NEW HOME IN WASHINGTON, D.C., THE

SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTE.

>> "DISCOVERY", THE OLDEST OF THE THREE REMAINING ORBITERS

FLEW 39 MISSIONS, 148 PLUS MILLION MILES.

>> BAD, TOO, BECAUSE WE WON'T SEE IT AGAIN.

>> Stephen: IT'S MORE THAN SAD.

IT'S EMBARRASSING TO SEE THE OLD SHUTTLE CAUGHT ON CAMERA GETTING PETTY SEX FROM A 747.

(LAUGHTER) THAT, FOLKS, THAT IS NOT EVEN THE NASTIEST.

THEY HAVE ALSO ANNOUNCED THEY ARE DECOMMISSIONING SPACE BOOK,

THE SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE FOR NASA EMPLOYEES.

WE HAVE LOST THE SPACE BOOK RACE!

(LAUGHTER) THIS IS THE WORST NEWS IN INTERSTELLAR SOCIAL NETWORK SINCE THE DOWNFALL OF MY myspace.com.

(LAUGHTER) ACCORDING TO AN INTERNAL NASA MEMO, PARTICIPATION BEEN AS HIGH.

ON AVERAGE, ONLY 14 USERS LOG IN PER WEEKDAY AND ZERO ON THE WEEKEND.

YES, SPACE BOOK AVERAGED ZERO USERS ON THE WEEKEND.

SOME WEEKENDS THREE USERS LOGGED IN, OTHERS, APPARENTLY, NEGATIVE THREE.

(LAUGHTER) ALTHOUGH IT IS GONE, I'M CERTAINLY GLAD WE HAD SPACE BOOK FOR AS LONG AS WE DID.

I WILL NEVER FORGET AS A CHILD BEING INSPIRED BY NEIL ARMSTRONG'S FAMOUS STATUS UPDATE

"SMALL STEPPING, GIANT LEAPING,

HASHTAG MAN TIME" (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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