Dr Pepper Presents Stephen Colbert's Rocktember with Radiohead

  • Aired:  09/26/11
  •  | Views: 24,232

Radiohead, one of the greatest musical acts of this or any generation, is the ultimate anti-corporate band. (5:25)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE

REPORT," EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]

NICELY DONE.

NICELY DONE.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

AND A SPECIAL WELCOME TO THE

FIRST-TIME VIEWERS OF "THE

COLBERT REPORT" WHO ARE WATCHING

ONLY BECAUSE RADIOHEAD IS HERE.

MY NAME IS STEPHEN COLBERT.

THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING A TV.

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, IT IS A HUGE NIGHT.

THERE ARE GOING TO BE

PERFORMANCE, INTERVIEWS WITH THE

BAND, AND TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE A

REAL CONCERTS, WE'RE GOING TO BE

PUTTING SOME TALL, SWEATY

STRANGERS OUT FRONT TO BLOCK

YOUR VIEW OF THE SHOW.

[LAUGHTER]

NO, NO.

NOT YET.

NOT YET.

THANK YOU.

LATER.

LATER.

AND NATION, NATION, WE ARE DOING

A FULL HOUR.

THAT'S AN ACTION-PACKED 60

MINUTES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO

PADDING.

NO PADDING AT ALL.

[LAUGHTER]

NOT A TOUCH.

OF PADDING.

WHICH, AS I HAVE PREVIOUSLY

STATED, WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO.

NOW, ALTHOUGH SOME OF THE RERUNS

OF TONIGHT'S SHOW WILL ONLY BE A

HALF HOUR, IT'S KIND OF A SHAME

BECAUSE FIRST HALF HOUR IS

GREAT, BUT THE SECOND HALF HOUR

IS INSANE.

SO IF YOU'RE WATCHING THE

HALF-HOUR VERSION AND WANT TO

KNOW WHAT YOU MISSED, JUST

GOOGLE "TOM YORK: LION ATTACK."

GOOD STUFF.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THIS IS ESPECIALLY EXCITING

TONIGHT, FOLKS, BECAUSE

RADIOHEAD IS NOT ONLY ONE OF THE

GREATEST MUSICAL ACTS OF THIS OR

ANY GENERATION...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

BUT ALSO, ALSO, THEY ARE THE

ULTIMATE ANTI-CORPORATE BAND.

AS PART OF THEIR WAR AGAINST

SELLING OUT TO BIG BUSINESS, IN

2000 THEY PLAYED A TOUR INSIDE A

CUSTOM TENT SO THEY'D BE FREE OF

CORPORATE LOGOS.

AND IN 1997, THEY TURNED DOWN A

LUCRATIVE DEAL TO CALL OKAY

COMPUTER OKAY TANGERINE

IMMac3G.

SO TONIGHT IN HONOR OF RADIO

HEAD'S ANTI-CORPORATE

COMMITMENT, I AM PROUD TO

ANNOUNCE...

DR. PEPPER PRESENTS STEPHEN

COLBERT'S ROCKTEMBER, WITH

RADIOHEAD, THEY PRESENT

THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY'RE

NOBODY'S TOOL.

DR. PEPPER, THE OFFICIAL SOFT

DRINK OF RADIOHEAD.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

I KNOW, IT'S EXCITING.

IT'S EXCITING, BUT LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN, I HAVE A RARE

CORRECTION TO MAKE.

DR. PEPPER IS NOT, IN FACT, THE

OFFICIAL SOFT DRINK OF

RADIOHEAD.

THAT IS A SHAMELESS FABRICATION

AND A GROSS BETRAYAL OF

RADIOHEAD'S TRUST, AND I FOR ONE

AM DISGUSTED THAT I THOUGHT I

COULD GET AWAY WITH IT.

JUST TAKE IT.

TAKE IT DOWN, JIMMY.

TAKE IT DOWN NOW, BECAUSE AS FAR

AS I KNOW RADIOHEAD HAS NO

OFFICIAL SOFT DRINK, SO THEY

COULDN'T DO MUCH BETTER THAN

FIRST NAME IN INDY CRED,

DR. PEPPER, CONTAINING THE SAME

PRESERVATIVE THAT KEEPS IGGY POP

ALIVE.

NOW, FOLKS, I UNDERSTAND THAT

TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A

MIND-BLOWING EVENING FOR THE

MUSIC NERDS, WHICH IS WHY IN THE

EVENT ANY RADIOHEAD HEADS

TOTALLY LOSE THEIR [BLEEPED],

I'VE GOT HIPSTER PARAMEDICS

STANDING BY.

HIPSTER PARAMEDICS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

HIPSTER PARAMEDICS, THANK YOU

FOR JOINING US.

>> YEAH.

WHAT'S UP?

LAUGHTER LAUGH

>> Stephen: SO YOU ARE.

THERE YOU WILL HELP ANYONE WHO

PASSES OUR OR NEEDS ASSISTANCE.

>> YEAH.

BECAUSE I HAVE MEDICAL TRAINING.

LAUGHTER LAUGH

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE MEDICAL

TRAINING.

>> YEAH, I HAVE LIKE A LOT OF

TRAINING.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: I KIND OF NEED TO

KNOW IF YOU ACTUALLY HAVE

TRAINING BECAUSE I'M RESPONSIBLE

FOR THESE PEOPLE.

>> YEAH, I'M SURE YOU ARE.

>> Stephen: I'M SERIOUS.

DO YOU... BE STRAIGHT WITH ME.

DO YOU EVEN KNOW C.PRIMEP. R.?

>> I DON'T LISTEN TO CLASSIC

ROCK.

>> Stephen: BUT YOU WILL BE

STANDING BY TO OFFER FIRST AID.

>> YEAH, UNTIL RADIOHEAD COMES

ON.

THEN I'M TOTALLY GOING TO LOSE

MY [BLEEPED].

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: OKAY.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OKAY.

CLEARLY I'M GOING TO NEED TO...

>> THIS OPENING ACT SUCKS.

BRING ON RADIOHEAD, MAN!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

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