Consumer Alert - Best Friends Charm Bracelets

  • Aired:  05/11/10
  •  | Views: 29,036

Lacing children's jewelry with heavy metal is a great way to teach our kids about the periodic table. (2:49)

PLEASE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT." THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

FOLKS, AS YOU KNOW, IF YOU ARE LONGTIME WATCHERS, YOU KNOW I'M ALL ABOUT CALM AND RELAXATION.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE STUDIES SHOW STRESS CAN BE A KILLER.

BUT THE NANNY STATE WANTS TO KILL YOU BY STRESSING YOU OUT OVER EVERY NEW PRODUCT THEY SAY

IS HARMFUL.

WE ALL REMEMBER WHEN THEY PANICKED A NATION BY RECALLING STEPHEN COLBERT'S TRACHEA BEDAZZLER.

[LAUGHTER]

HEY, IF YOU'VE GOT A NON-INVASIVE WAY TO ADORN THE INSIDE OF YOUR THROAT WITH

DIAMONIQUE CRYSTALS, I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.

I'D ALSO LIKE YOU TO TESTIFY.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, THE SEAT BELT BRIGADE IS AT IT AGAIN, FOLKS, WHICH IS WHY I AM RELUCTANTLY ISSUING A

STEPHEN COLBERT CONSUMER A-LAIR.

TURNS OUT THE CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION LIKES THE MAKE US TAKE A DUMP IN OUR DOCKERS

OVER EVERY PRODUCT FROM CHINA JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE BONUS INGREDIENTS, LIKE TOOTHPASTE

WITH ANTIFREEZE OR TOYS WITH LEAD PAINT, MELAMINE-FLAVORED PET FOOD, SEWAGE-TAINTED SHRIMP,

FLAMMABLE COMPUTER BATTERIES OR DRYWALL THAT IS ACTUALLY GROUND UP NARWHAL.

AND NOW, NOW THEY'RE COMING AFTER A BELOVED KIDS' PRODUCT.

JIM?

>> ANOTHER RECALL OF POSSIBLY POISONOUS CHILDREN'S JEWELRY.

THE U.S. CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION TODAY ANNOUNCED THE VOLUNTARY RECALL OF 19,000 BEST

FRIENDS CHARM BRACELETS.

THEY WERE MADE IN CHINA AND CONTAIN HIGH LEVELS OF CADMIUM.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S A LITTLE CADMIUM BETWEEN BEST FRIENDS?

[LAUGHTER]

BESIDES, DOESN'T IT PROVE YOU'RE BESTIES IF YOU'RE BOTH SUFFERING

FROM CHILLS, FEVER, MUSSING ACHES, TRACHEAL BRONCHITIS,

PNEUMONITIS, PULMONARY EDEMA AND OSTEOMALACIA, WHICH IS JUST FANCY TALK FOR BONE SOFTENING?

BIG DEAL.

MY WRISTSTRONG BRACELETS ARE MADE OF CADMIUM, AND I CAN BARELY FEEL THE BONES SOFTENING.

[LAUGHTER]

IN FACT, I CAN BARELY FEEL ANYTHING.

[LAUGHTER]

BESIDES, WE SHOULD BE THANKING THE CHINESE.

THESE PRODUCTS LACED WITH HEAVY METALS ARE A GREAT WAY TO TEACH OUR KIDS ABOUT THE PERIODIC TABLE.

JUST LOOK AT THE BEST FRIENDS PACKAGING.

COLLECT 'EM ALL.

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET STRONTIUM.

SO HANDS OFF OUR BEST FRIENDS JEWELRY, BIG GOVERNMENT.||