Michael Bloomberg's Super-Sized Soda Scheme

  • Aired:  05/31/12
  •  | Views: 14,062

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans to ban super-sized sodas, even though America hasn't achieved type-3 diabetes yet. (3:55)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU, FOLKS.

NATION, I AM NO FAN OF NEW YORK CITY BILLIONAIRE BILLION MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG.

HE IS TURNING NEW YORK INTO AN ORGANIC SLOW FOOD THANNY STATE.

FIRST HE BANNED SMOKING.

THEN HE BANNED TRANSFATS.

THEN HE ADDED BIKE LANES EVERYWHERE.

NOW IT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO HIT BIKERS ON MY DRIVE TO WORK.

AND FOLKS, NOW HE'S GONE TOO FAR.

>> NEW YORK CITY MAYOR MIKE EL BLOOMBERG HAS TOUCHED OFF A NATIONWIDE CONTROVERSY

WITH HIS PROPOSAL TO BAN SUPERSIZED SUGARY DRINKS.

ANYTHING LARGER THAN 16 OUNCE KOS NOT BE SOLD IN RESTAURANTS, MOVIE THEATRES,

FOOD CARTS AND CONCESSION STANDS.

>> NO MORE GIANT SODA AT THE MOVIES FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY TO SHARE, NO, THE MAN SAYS

NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.

>> NO MORE GIANT SODAS?

COME ON!

THIS IS AMERICA, THE LAND OF PLENTY.

WE HAVEN'T EVEN ACHIEVED TYPE III DIABETES YET.

WE'RE SO CLOSE.

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU FOLKS, BUT I CAN'T DRINK LESS THAN 16 OUNCES.

I NEED A SODA SO LARGE THAT JAMES CAMERON WANTS TO GO TO THE BOTTOM OF IT.

(APPLAUSE) THIS BAN, THIS BAN WILL COMPLETELY RUIN MY MOVIE GOING EXPERIENCE.

GI TO THE SIN HE MA TO DRINK AN OIL DRUM OF SODA THAT MAKES ME PEE 30 TIMES.

BY THE WAY, I MISSED THE END OF THEY WILL MA AND LOUISE.

HOW DID THAT ROAD TRIP GO?

CAN'T WAITED FOR THE SEQUEL.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ACHIEVE PROPER REFRESHMENT BY TWOED SO-- BUY TWO SODAS?

HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK,

THERE'S TWO STRAWS.

I HAVE ONLY GOT ONE MOUTH WHERE I DO STICK THE OTHER ONE, BLOOMBERG, YOU SICK BASTARD!

(LAUGHTER) MAKE SURE NOT TO MIX THOSE STRAWS UP.

BUT FINE, FINE.

IF THIS IS OUR NEW REALITY,

I GUESS WE'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE SOME BIG CHANGES.

DRINKIE, COME ON OUT HERE,

BOY, COME ON OUT HERING DRINKIE.

DHEERS PLAUS -- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THIS IS DRINKIE, HE'S MY PET GIANT DRINK.

YOU MAY REMEMBER DRINKIE FROM PREVIOUS EPISODES.

HE USUALLY TRIES TO KILL ME BUT I TOOK HIM TO A CUP WHISPERER AND HE'S MUCH MORE OBEDIENT NOW.

HEY, BUDDY, YOU WANT TO GO FOR A DRINK?

OH, LOOK, LOOK, HE'S WAGGING HIS LITTLE STRAW.

OKAY, WE'LL GO IN A SECOND,

DRINKIE, BUT FIRST, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO OVER THERE AND LOOK AT THAT SUNSET,

OKAY.

BYE.

JUST-- YOU JUST-- YOU JUST GO STARE INTO THE SUN, BOY.

YOU JUST DON'T TURN AROUND,

DRINKIE.

JUST-- JUST KEEP STARING IN THE SUN, DRINKIE.

(LAUGHTER) I LOVE YOU, BOY.

NO!

NO!

DRINKIE!

KNOCK, DRINKIE!

NO!

HE WAS SO YOUNG.

AND SO REFRESHING.

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT,

BLOOMBERG!, YOU MONSTER, OH,

DRINKIE, OH, OH.

OH, I AM SO SAD.

I AM SO THIRSTY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OH DRINKIE.

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