Greece Wither Soon - Scheherazade Rehman

  • Aired:  05/10/10
  •  | Views: 34,163

Scheherazade Rehman says the Germans did the right thing by bailing out Greece, but it was too little, too late. (7:07)

FOLKS, WE HERE AT THE "COLBERT REPORT" ARE ALL ABOUT PLEASING THE PEOPLE.

AND, FOLKS, YOU KNOW WHO OUT THERE COULD USE A HANDFUL OF PAINKILLERS?

GREECE.

THEIR ECONOMY IS ON THE VERGE OF COMPLETE COLLAPSE.

RIOTING BROKE OUT LAST WEEK AFTER THE GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCED PAY CUTS AND RAISED THE RETIREMENT AGE.

THINGS ARE SO DIRE THEY EVEN LAID OFF THE ORACLE OF DELPHI.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE NEVER SAW IT COMING.

[APPLAUSE]

NOW, I HAVE COVERED... I HAVE COVERED THIS HELLENISTIC HELLSCAPE FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.

GREECE IS A MESS.

EVEN THEIR MOST VALUABLE REAL ESTATE LOOKS WORSE THAN DETROIT.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, THAT AIRED A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, SO LET ME EXPLAIN.

DETROIT USED TO BE A CITY IN MICHIGAN.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, GREECE'S TROUBLE, FOLKS,

GREECE'S TROUBLES THREATEN TO SPREAD TO THE REST OF EUROPE.

OVER THE WEEKEND FEARS OF A TOTAL COLLAPSE CAUSE THE VALUE OF A EURO TO PLUNGE TO $1.25.

AT THIS RATE THE AVERAGE EUROPEAN WON'T BE ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE DURING THEIR ANNUAL 15

WEEKS OF VACATION.

SO LAST NIGHT E.U. FINANCE MINISTERS PASSED A TRILLION DOLLAR BAILOUT.

TO PUT A TRILLION DOLLARS INTO LAYMAN'S TERMS -- THERE IS NO WAY TO PUT A TRILLION DOLLARS

INTO LAYMAN'S TERMS.

I GUESS THINK OF A DOLLAR ONE TRILLION TIMES.

[LAUGHTER]

AND, FOLKS, BRACE YOURSELF.

SOME OF THAT MONEY IS YOURS BECAUSE SOME OF IT IS COMING FROM THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY

FUND, WHICH YOUR TAX DOLLARS SUPPORT, AND THIS IS NOT MONEY THEY WERE OWED OR THE GRECIANS EARNED.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

JIM?

>> THESE ARE GOVERNMENTS THAT HAVE BEEN SPENDING BEYOND THEIR MEANS.

>> CRADLE-TO-GRAVE, EARLY RETIREMENT, GREAT BENEFITS, LOTS OF TIME OFF.

THEY HAVE SET UP ALMOST LIKE THE PERFECT NANNY STATE IN GREECE.

>> THAT MEANS OUR TAX MONEY IS GOING TO BAIL OUT THOSE IRRESPONSIBLE PEOPLE.

>> THESE PINHEADS WANT THEIR FREE STUFF, AND THEY DON'T CARE IF THEIR ENTIRE COUNTRY COLLAPSES.

>> Stephen: PAPA BEAR IS RIGHT, THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF BAZOUKI-PLAYING, SOUVLAKI QUEEN,

WHO EXPECT THE REST OF US TO FIT THE BILL FOR THEIR BIG FAT WEDDING, AND GREECE, FOLKS,

SHOULD BE A WARNING TO ALL OF US.

>> IT'S AN EARLY HEART ATTACK TO ALERT US TO THE FACT WE COULD

HAVE A BIGGER HEART ATTACK.

>> CONSIDER WE'RE RUNNING THESE RECORD DEFICITS OURSELVES.

>> WE'VE GOT THE SAME TYPES OF POLICIES BEING PUT IN PLACE HERE

IN THE UNITED STATES THAT FRANKLY ARE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO LEAD US DOWN THE PATH WE SEE GREECE ON.

>> Stephen: AMERICA COULD BE THE NEXT GREECE.

WORSE THAN THAT, WE COULD BE "GREASE 2."

[LAUGHTER]

NATION, WE CANNOT BECOME A COUNTRY WHERE WE LIGHT OUR GRILLED CHEESE ON FIRE, WHERE

OUR PROUD MILITARY IS REDUCED TO WEARING SKIRTS AND WHERE THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE LASTS 25

MINUTES JUST TO NAME ALL THE GODS WE'RE ONE NATION UNDER.

AND THERE IS NOBODY, NOBODY,

FOLKS, THAT CAN TELL ME THAT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN HERE.

HERE TO TELL ME THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN HERE, PLEASE WELCOME DIRECTOR OF THE GEORGE

WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY'S E.U.

RESEARCH CENTER, FRIEND OF THE SHOW, SCHEHERAZADE REHMAN.

SCHEHERAZADE, WELCOME.

[APPLAUSE]

SCHEHERAZADE, FIRST OF ALL,

THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK FOR YOUR SECOND OF WHAT I HOPE WILL BE 1,001 NIGHTS.

LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE YOU SAID THAT YOU TOLD US GREECE WAS IN TROUBLE.

YOU SAID THE GERMANS HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

NOW THEY'VE DONE IT.

DID THE GERMANS DO THE RIGHT THING?

>> THEY DID BUT IT WAS TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

>> Stephen: A TRILLION IS TOO LITTLE?

>> IT WAS TOO LATE.

THEY SHOULD HAVE THROWN THE KITCHEN SINK AT THEM TWO MONTHS AGO.

>> Stephen: SO WHY DIDN'T THE GERMANS... THE GERMANS ARE VERY ORDERLY, EFFICIENT PEOPLE.

WHY DIDN'T THE GERMANS ACT WHEN THEY SHOULD HAVE?

>> WELL, THEY WERE PLAYING DOMESTIC POLITICS.

ANGELA MERKEL, THE CHANCELLOR OF GERMANY, HAD SERIOUS REGIONAL ELECTIONS YESTERDAY.

SHE WAS BUYING TIME SO THE ELECTIONS COULD PASS BEFORE SHE GAVE THE GREEKS ANY MONEY.

SHE LOST THE ELECTION, SHE PUT GREECE IN CHAOS, SHE LOST CONTROL OF HER UPPER HOUSE IN PARLIAMENT.

SHE MAKE SURE THAT SPAIN AND PORTUGAL PAYS MORE MONEY FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES AND SHE MADE

THE EURO GO DOWN THE DRAIN, SO IT BACKFIRED.

>> Stephen: IS IT SURPRISING THE GERMANS DIDN'T ACT QUICKER

TO HELP THE GREEKS BECAUSE DON'T THEY USUALLY RESPOND VERY WELL TO WEAKNESS?

>> YES, BUT IN THIS CASE THEY WERE LOOKING FORWARD TOWARDS NATIONAL ELECTIONS DOWN THE ROAD.

>> WHAT'S THE BIG DANGER HERE?

SOME OF OUR MONEY GOES TO THE IMF.

THE IMF IS PART OF THIS BAILOUT,

WHICH IS SURPRISING.

THIS IS LIKE TREATING EUROPE LIKE IT'S A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY,

THE IMF BEING INVOLVED.

THAT'S A MARK OF SHAME FOR THE EUROPEANS.

>> PART OF EUROPE SHOULD NEVER HAVE JOINED THE EURO, AND THEY ARE LIKE THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES,

SO THEREFORE THE IMF'S INVOLVEMENT IS TOTALLY APT.

>> Stephen: WHY DOESN'T FRANCE AND GERMANY KICK GREECE OUT.

YOU CAN'T HAVE YOU OWES.

YOU HAVE TO TRADE SOUVLAKI CHIPS.

>> BECAUSE WHEN THEY CREATED THIS EURO BABIES, THE GERMANS HAD TO GET MARRIED TO FOUR VERY...

>> Stephen: UGLY WOMEN?

FOUR UGLY WOMEN.

GO AHEAD.

I SAID IT.

YOU'RE THINKING IT.

GO AHEAD, HIDEOUS, HIDEOUS,

HUMONGOUS BRIDES.

>> I THOUGHT OF IT, BUT I WANTED TO SAY WOMEN WHO SPENT A LOT OF MONEY.

AND THEY DID AND NOW THE GERMANS HAVE TO PAY.

YOU CAN'T JUST KICK GREECE OUT.

THE DIVORCE WILL BE VERY, VERY UGLY.

IF THEY END UP DOING THAT -- IT WON'T HAPPEN -- SPAIN AND ITALY AND PORTUGAL ALL WILL BE

ATTACKED BY THE MARKETS AND THE GERMANS WILL HAVE TO PAY EVEN MORE MONEY.

>> Stephen: SO WHY IS... AS AN AMERICAN, WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT THIS?

THEIR END OF THE SHIP MAY BE SINKING, BUT I'M ON THE BACK HIGH AND DRY.

HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HURT ME?

>> I THINK FOR TWO REASONS.

ONE, YOU MENTIONED THE IMF GIVING THEM MONEY, $250 BILLION,

OF WHICH 70% BELONGS TO US.

BUT I THINK WHAT'S NOT KNOWN IS THE FEDERAL RESERVE HAS OPENED UP CURRENCY SWAPS WITH THESE

CENTRAL BANKS, AND THAT'S ALSO OUR MONEY GOING OVER THERE TO SUPPORT THEM.

>> Stephen: I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING YOU JUST SAID.

[LAUGHTER]

TELL ME ABOUT CURRENCY SWAPS.

YES?

>> BASICALLY WE CAN SWAP CURRENCIES IN AN INTERNATIONAL HUB.

THE CENTRAL BANK GETS MORE MONEY.

>> Stephen: DOES THE EURO RECOVER, OR DOES IT KEEP ON NOSE DIVING?

>> I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO EUROPE THIS SUMMER AND WITH A ROLL OF DIMES JUST BUY SOMETHING FROM

THE LOUVRE.

>> YOU'RE GOING TO NEED AT LEAST FIVE OF THOSE.

>> Stephen: FIVE OF THOSE?

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL BRING YOU BACK SOMETHING||||||

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