Navy Laser Technology

  • Aired:  04/10/13
  •  | Views: 42,929

America now has a laser canon that can do anything from scorch a fast-attack boat to dazzle the enemy with a nonlethal burst. (3:15)

["THE COLBERT REPORT" THEME

MUSIC PLAYING]

EAGLE CAW] STOONCHTS WELCOME TO

REPORT.

EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

IN HERE OUT THERE ALL AROUND THE

WORLD.

[CROWD CHANTING STEPHEN] THANK

YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA, NATION I

SAY IT ALL THE TIME, AMERICA'S

MILITARY IS THE BADDEST ASS

KICKINGEST FIGHTING FORCE IN THE

HISTORY OF FOREVER!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YOU GET IN OUR WAY AND WE'LL

SPEND 10-15 YEARS TAKING YOU

DOWN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND OUR MILITARY JUST GOT A

WHOLE LOT BAD ASS-ER.

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME THE

PENTAGON PLANS TO DEPLOY A

WEAPONNIZED LASER ON A SHIP.

THIS IS SLATED TO GOOD OFF THE

COAST OF IRAN BY NEXT YEAR.

IT SHOWS THE LAIDZER LOCK ON TO

A SLOW MOVING TARGET.

IN THIS CASE AN UNMANNED DRONE.

THE DRONE SOON CATCHES FIRE AND

CRASHES INTO THE SEA BELOW.

>> Stephen: IF YOU THINK IT'S

IMPRESSIVE WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE

WHAT THIS LASER DOES TO PLANE

PILOTED BY CASTS.

[LAUGHTER]

THE POINT IS, ENEMIES OF

AMERICA, LASER'S ON ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WORLD, AMERICA NOW HAS A LASER

THAT CAN DO ANYTHING FROM BURN

THROUGH A FAST ATTACK BOAT TO

EMIT A NONLETHAL BURST TO DAZZLE

THE ENEMY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S THE NAVY'S MOST DAZZLING

TECHNOLOGY SINCE THEY

WEAPONNIZED CHER.

♪ IF I COULD FIND A WAY ♪

NOW I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW

THAT EVEN THOUGH AMERICA NOW

POSSESSES LASER WEAPONS IT DOES

NOT MEAN WE'RE GOING TO TURN

INTO AN EVIL EMPIRE ALTHOUGH I

WILL SAY AND OR THAT WE KNOW THE

EWOKS OR THE REBELS AND I FIND

YOUR LACK OF FAITH HIGHLY

LASERRABLE.

THE BEST PART IS IT'S SO

AFFORDABLE.

>> A ROUND OF THIS DIRECTED

ENERGY THAT.

S COULD OUT OF THIS LAYER IS A

LL UNDER $1, A LITTLE UNDER $1

U.S. DOLLAR.

>> Stephen: ONE DOLL YAMPLE

WE'RE LOSING MONEY NOT SETTING

PEOPLE ON FIRE.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD TO

BE AN AMERICAN WELL.

THIS LASER CANNON NOTHING CAN

STOP US EXCEPT BAD WEATHER,

WATER VAPOR, SMOKE, SAND OR

DUST.

SO WE'LL DEFEAT ALL OF OUR

ENEMIES AS LONG