Jamie Dimon's Christmas Card

  • Aired:  12/19/13
  •  | Views: 47,500

JP Morgan's Jamie Dimon comes under fire for sending an excessively decadent Christmas card. (3:04)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, THANK YOU FORJOINING US.

COME ON!

THAT'S RIGHT.

HO, HO, HO.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU LAZIES AND

GENTLEMEN, PLEASE, FOLKS, IGOT TO SAY, HEAR UG CHANT MY

NAME T SOUNDS LIKE THE ANGELCHIR CHOIRS OF BETHLEHEM.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS, IT'S JUSTA MAGICAL TIME OF YEAR.

BUT THANKS TO COMRADEDICKENS THE CHRISTMAS CAROL

SEIG HEIL, CHUCK.

THE CHRISTMAS SEASON ISALWAYS OPEN SEASON ON TITANS

OF FINANCE.

EBENEZER SCROOGE WAS A JOBCREATOR.

WHAT DID TINY TIM EVER MAKEOTHER THAN ME CRY.

WELL, THIS CHRISTMAS THEMEDIAN INCOME HUGGERS OUT

THERE ARE STILL PUSHINGBANKERS AROUND AND NO ONE IS

GETTING HID HARDER THAN MYBUDDY C.E.O. JAMIE DIMON.

FOR MORE WE GO TO NBC ANFOUR GRADER

TRICK-OR-TREATING RACHELMADDOW.

>> THE NEAREST AND DEERESTTO JAYIE DIMON THIS HOLIDAY

SEE BE, RECENTLY GRACED WITHTHIS PANORAMIC HOLIDAY CARD

IN YOUR MAIL BOX.

IT SHOWS THE FIRST FAMILY OFFINANCE HAVING A GREAT TIME

HITTING TENNIS BALLS INSIDEWHAT SEEMS TO BE THEIR HOME.

AND SAYS HEY, WE'RE SO RICHWE CAN DESTROY OUR OWN STUFF

WITH A SMILE.

>> Stephen: DISGUSTING.

CALF OR THING AROUND YOUROWN HOME WITH YOUR OWN

FAMILY?

AT CHRISTMASTIME.

COME ON.

I CONDITION THINK OFANYTHING MORE DECADENT

EXCEPT MAYBE MURDERING ATREE AND DRESSING IT UP LIKE

A WHORE.

NO WONDER, NOnd WITHOUTER,FOLKS, NO WONDER "TIME"

MAGAZINE CALLED THE CARDSMADDENINGLY TONE DEAF AND

ASK COULD YOU PICK A MOREELITIST SPORT?

YES, ELITIST, TEN SIS JUSTPOLO WITHOUT A HORSE THAT

CAN BE PLAYED IN A PUBLICPARK.

JAMIE DIE UPON FORGOT THEGOLDEN RULE OF 1 PERCENTERS,

THE 99ERS NEED TO PREVIOUSYOUR MONEY HAS MADE YOU

MISERABLE.

HIS CHRISTMAS CARD SHOULDHAVE BEEN HIM WEEPING ALONE

ON A PILE OF MONEY.

FOLKS, THIS IS WHY, THIS ISWHY, I DIDN'T MAIL OUT MY

CHRISTMAS CARD THIS YEAR.

IT'S A PICTURE OF MEWATER-SKIING THROUGH THE

KITCHEN HI BUILT OFF OF MYTWO CLOSETS.

FOLKS, I TELL YOU, THEYCRITICIZE BUT I NEED THAT

KEVIN.

THE SHERPAS WHO GUIDE ME TOMY SANDAL SHELF ARE HUNGRY.

SO AS MUCH AS I HATE TO DOIT, SHAME ON YOU JAMIE

DIMON.

AND NEWS MEDIA, YOU KEEPHOLDING THE BANKERS

ACCOUNTABLE FOR INSENSITIVECHRISTMAS CARDS BECAUSE I

HOPE WE CAN ALL AGREE

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