Soul-Rending Cheerios Ad

  • Aired:  09/17/13
  •  | Views: 56,975

Cheerios leverages the death of a grandparent and joins the ranks of undead endorsed cereals like Count Chocula. (4:20)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NATION, YOU KNOW THAT STEPHENCOLBERT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE

FAN OF ADVERTISING.

I ONLY WISH COMMERCIALS WEREN'TCONSTANTLY INTERRUPTED BY LONG

STRETCHES OF CHARACTERS ANDSTORIES.

WHO CARES WHO MURDER WHO?

I JUST WANT TO SEE TWO DIFFERENTPAPER TOWELS ABSORB THINGS.

( LAUGHTER )IS THAT ALL WE HAVE?

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S WHY ON MY SHOW I PROMOTEPRODUCTS WHENEVER I CAN, FROM

WHEAT THINS TO DORITOS, TOLIBERIAN CONFLICT DIAMONDS.

SHE WON'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHOSHED A TEAR OVER THAT ENGAGEMENT

RING.

SO-- YEAH, OOOOH!

SO WHENEVER THERE'S A NEWINNOVATION IN ADVERTISING, I

TAKE NOTICE, FOLKS.

AND I WAS TRULY IMPRESSED BY THEGENIUS OF THIS RECENT AD FROM

THE GOOD FOLKS AT CHEERIOS.

>> MOM.

DID DAD EVER GIVE YOU CHEERIOSWHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID?

>> YEAH, SHE DID CHEERIOS HASPRETTY MUCH BEEN FOREVER.

>> WHEN WE HAVE CHEERIOS IT'SKIND OF LIKE WE'RE HAVING

BREAKFAST WITHNAN NANA.

>> YEAH.

( APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: OH, NANA!

( APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: OH, NANA!

( APPLAUSE )FOLKS, THE BEST IDEAS ALWAYS

SEEM--( LAUGHTER )

SO OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT, YETSOMEHOW NOBODY THOUGHT TO

LEVERAGE THE DEATH OF AGRANDPARENT TO HAWK SOME HOOCH

OF OATES.

I USED TO EAT SEAR WITHOUTCONSIDERING THE LONG LINES OF

LOVED ONE WHO SHUFFLED OFF THISMORTAL COIL LEAVING ME TO FACE

MY MARCH TO ABLIFFION ALONE,WEIGHED DOWN BY THE CHAINS OF

THE PAST.

IT WAS JUST SOMETHING I ATE WHENI DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE

PANCAKES.

NOW I CAN'T WALK DOWN A CEREALAISLE WITHOUT ENTERING A HAUPTED

HOUSE OF LOSS AND REGRETS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( LAUGHTER )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )( LAUGHTER )

CLEAN UP IN AISLE HERE.

BUT, FOLKS, AS IMPRESSED AS I AMWITH THE WORK OF SOUL-RENDING

MARKETING YEENS, IT ALSO WASCAUSE FOR ALARM BECAUSE

APPARENTLY CHEERIOS ARE HAUNTEDBY THE SPIRITS OF THE DEAD.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

PIMEAN, YOU HEARD THAT KID.

WHEN YOU EAT CHEERIOS THE DEPARTROAM YOUR BREAKFAST NOOK.

THEY'RE A PORTAL BETWEEN OURWORLD AND THE PURRATORY.

BE GONE FROM MY MILKY BOWL!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )I MEAN, FOLKS THE WARNING-- THE

WARNING SIGNS WERE ALWAYS THERE.

HOW DID WE NEVER NOTICE THAT ABOWL FULL OF CHEERIOS SPELLS

OOOO-OOOO.

THE CHEERIOS NOW JOINS THE RANKSOF UNDEAD ENDORSED CEREALS LIKE

COUNT CHOCULA.

BOOYAKASHA.

FIBERATU THROUGH A ROUGH ANNUALOF HORROR.

AND CHITHU-LOOPS.

CHITHU-LOOPS, THE FRUIT FLAVORSARE TOO HORRID FOR THE HUMAN

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