Hurricane Sandy's Aftermath

  • Aired:  10/31/12
  •  | Views: 102,734

Hurricane Sandy devastates 60 million Americans and seven subway tunnels, which means it could be weeks before they're able to restore the scent of urine down there. (4:51)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE "REPORT"!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN") THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US!

PLEASE, EVERYBODY, PLEASE.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US AND, FOLKS, IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK.

FIRST OF ALL I'M OKAY.

(LAUGHTER) HOW'S EVERYBODY HERE?

EVERYBODY OKAY?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) FULL DISCLOSURE: THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY MY AUDIENCE.

WE'RE ACTUALLY ONE AGO SHELTER TONIGHT.

(LAUGHTER) MOST OF THESE PEOPLE ARE JUST HERE TO RECHARGE THEIR IPHONES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AND TO TAKE A BUM SHOWER IN THE BATHROOM SINK.

(LAUGHTER) LITTLE GAMEY.

BECAUSE WE HAVE ALL COME THROUGH ONE HELL OF A STORM, FOLKS.

OF COURSE, OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH THE 60 MILLION AMERICANS THROUGHOUT 20 STATES WHO HAVE BEEN HIT BY HURRICANE SANDY.

THIS RECORD SURGE HAS DEVASTATED COMMUNITIES FROM NORTH CAROLINA TO MAINE.

62 PEOPLE AT LEAST HAVE DIED.

POWER STATION EXPLOSIONS AND DOWNED LINES HAVE LEFT EIGHT MILLION PEOPLE WITHOUT ELECTRICITY-- INCLUDING NEW YORK

CITY BELOW 39th STREET.

IN NEW JERSEY, THE NATIONAL GUARD HAS BEEN SENT IN TO RESCUE MORE THAN 20,000 TRAPPED HOBOKEN RESIDENTS.

100 HOMES BURNED TO THE GROUND IN BREEZY POINT, QUEENS.

THE LARGEST SINGLE FIRE IN NEW YORK CITY HISTORY.

AN ENTIRE TOWN ON THE JERSEY SHORE HAS BEEN SUBMERGED.

IT'S AN UNIMAGINABLE TRAGEDY WHERE THE SCOPE OF THE DAMAGE IS STILL UNFOLDING.

FOR THOSE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE WATCHING THIS SHOW TONIGHT, I URGE YOU TO VISIT redcross.org TO FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN ASSIST

THOSE IN NEED.

SPOILER ALERT: IT'S MONEY.

(LAUGHTER) I'D ALSO LIKE TO SINGLE OUT SOME HEROES.

LIKE THE NURSES AT N.Y.U.

HOSPITAL.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) AFTER THE HOSPITAL'S GENERATORS FAILED, THESE NURSES CARRIED 20 NEWBORNS DOWN NINE FLIGHTS OF

STAIRS WHILE MANUALLY OPERATING RESPIRATORS.

I CAN'T EVEN WALK DOWN NINE FLIGHTS OF STAIRS WITHOUT A SPOTTER.

(LAUGHTER) THEN THERE WAS THIS CITY WORKER PHOTOGRAPHED BY ONE OF MY WRITERS WHO, MID-HURRICANE, CLIMBED A TREE WITH A CHAIN SAW

TO REMOVE LOOSE BRANCHES THAT COULD HAVE CRUSHED PEOPLE IF THEY WERE CAUGHT IN THE WIND.

NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS, BUT IN A TREE WITH A CHAIN SAW IS THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE IN A HURRICANE.

(LAUGHTER) NOW, I WANT TO GIVE SPECIAL SHOUTOUTS TO THE GUY IN CHARGE OF NEW JERSEY.

>> TODAY I TOURED THE JERSEY COASTLINE BABY HELICOPTER AND I LANDED IN TWO SPOTS ON THE JERSEY SHORE AND I CAN TELL YOU

THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN DEVASTATION LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE.

WE'RE MIXING SORROW WITH DETERMINATION.

WE'RE GOING TO MOVE FORWARD AS A STRONG AND RESOLUTE PEOPLE TO MAKE SURE WE REBUILD OUR STATE AND DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

>> Stephen: WOW, THAT GUY IS INCREDIBLE.

I JUST WISH I KNEW HIS NAME OR HIS TITLE.

(LAUGHTER) OH, THERE YOU GO.

CHRIS CHRISTIE, GOVERNOR!

ALL RIGHT, THERE IT IS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) GOOD THING HIS MOM SEWED HIS NAME INTO ALL OF HIS CLOTHES BEFORE HE WENT OFF TO GOVERNOR CAMP.

(LAUGHTER) AND STORM NATION, THINGS ARE NOT MUCH BETTER IN NEW YORK.

THE M.T.A. REPORTED THAT SANDY FLOODED SEVEN SUBWAY TUNNELS UNDER THE EAST RIVER.

WHICH MEANS IT COULD BE WEEKS BEFORE THEY'RE ABLE TO RESTORE THE SCENT OF URINE.

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S WHY I AM CALLING ON NEW YORK DRUNKS TO HEAD INTO THE SUBWAY AND RELEASE THEIR STRATEGIC BLADDER RESERVES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE POINT IS IT APPEARS THAT WE GOT MANHATTAN WET, WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE VOIDS THE WARRANTY.

(LAUGHTER) AND THERE ARE NO LENAPE INDIANS AROUND TO GIVE US BACK OUR BEADS.

OH, YOU WIN THIS TIME, EXTINCT TRIBE.

(LAUGHTER) BUT BEFORE THE STORM HIT I HOPE YOU ALL FOLLOWED MY STORM PREP INSTRUCTIONS.

DUCT TAPE THE WINDOWS, FILLED YOUR BATHTUBS WITH FRESH WATER AND BUILT AN ARK.

(LAUGHTER) ONE OF EVERY ANIMAL, ONLY FEMALES.

THEN ADD ONE VERY RANDY POODLE.

(LAUGHTER) THEY CAN MATE WITH ANYTHING, THAT WAY WE REPOPULATE THE EARTH WITH A HYPOALLERGENIC ANIMAL KINGDOM.

YOU GET YOUR ELEPHANT-A-POOS.

(LAUGHTER) YOUR ROCO-DOODLES.