Dancing on the Ceiling

  • Aired:  06/02/11
  •  | Views: 66,412

Republicans show their Tea Party base that they're against raising the debt ceiling, while reassuring Wall Street that it's political theater. (3:45)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

OH, NATION, NATION, I'M

SICK.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: AND I DON'T JUST

MEAN THE FLUMAGEDDON THAT

CONQUERED MY SINUSES.

AND THREATENS-- IT IS NOW

EVIDENTLY TAKEN OVER MY

TONGUE.

NO, I'M SICK TO DEATH ABOUT

OUR NATIONAL DEBT.

WE HAVE GOT TO GET OUR

FINANCIAL HOUSE IN ORDER,

FOLKS.

BUT THE CHICKEN LITTLE

DEMOCRATS ARE SO WORRIED THE

U.S. WILL DEFAULT ON ITS

LOANS.

SO THEY WANT TO RAISE THE

U.S. DEBT CEILING.

COME ON!

WE ALREADY RAISED THE DEBT

CEILING UNDER PRESIDENT

BUSH.

THAT'S SO 2002, 2003, 2004,

2006, 2007 AND TWICE IN

2008.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THANKFULLY THIS WEEK THE

REPUBLICANS STOOD UP AND

SAID NO MAS IN ENGLISH.

>> HOUSE REPUBLICANS SUCCEEDED

IN BLOCKING THE DEMOCRAT'S

ATTEMPT TO RAISE THE DEBT

CEILING.

>> Stephen: THE REPUBLICANS

BLOCKED THE DEBT RAISING

SEAL SO DEVIOUS THAT IT WAS

ACTUALLY INTRODUCED BY

REPUBLICANS.

THANKFULLY THE REPUBLICANS

LIKE CONGRESSMAN DAVE CAMP

BRAVELY STOOD UP AGAINST

THEMSELVES.

>> THIS VOTE, A VOTE BASED

ON LEGISLATION I'VE

INTRODUCED WILL AND MUST

FAIL.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: STIRRING WORDS.

ONE IS REMINDED OF PATRICK

HENRY'S COURAGEOUS CRY, GIVE

ME LIBERTY AND I DON'T WANT

LIBERTY.

(LAUGHTER)

SO THE DEBT CEILING--

(APPLAUSE)

SO FOLKS THE DEBT CEILING

HAS NOT BEEN RAISED.

BUT DON'T PANIC, INVESTORS.

WE'RE TO THE GOING TO

DEFAULT.

BEFORE THE VOTE REPUBLICAN

LEADERS CALLED WALL STREET

EXECUTIVES TO ASSURE THEM

THE VOTE WAS JUST FOR SHOW.

YEAH, IT'S JUST FOR SHOW

LIKE THE SNEEZE GUARD ON A

SALAD BAR.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: IT LOOKS GOOD

BUT ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS

DUCK UNDER IT AND SNEEZE ON

THE CROUTONS.

IT'S EASY.

FOLKS, THIS BILL, I BELIEVE

THIS BILL WAS GENIUS, YOU

SEE.

THE REPUBLICAN KOS SHOW

THEIR TEA PARTY BASE THAT

THEY'RE AGAINST RAISING THE

DEBT CEILING WHILE

REASSURING THEIR WORRYWART

WALL STREET BASE THAT THIS

WAS JUST POLITICAL THEATRE.

RIGHT, RON WILLIAMS.

>> THIS IS A HUGE GAME GOING

ON HERE.

THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE,

THEY KNOW THAT IT'S A BIG

JOKE.

THEY SAY WALL STREET IS IN

ON THE JOKE.

WALL STREET KNOWS IT'S A

JOKE.

>> Stephen: YES, WALL STREET

LOVES JOKES.

REMEMBER THAT LAST PRANK

THEY PULLED WITH THE

MORTGAGE MARKET?

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: KNOCK, KNOCK,.

WHO'S THERE?

GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

THE BANK IS FORECLOSING.

RACOONS LIVE HERE NOW.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: I GUESS YOU HAD

TO BE THERE.

LITERALLY YOU HAD TO.

IT WAS GLOBAL.

IT AFFECTED EVERYBODY.

AND NOW, REPUBLICANS CAN SAY

ONE THING TO WALL STREET.

AND THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE TO

THE TEA PARTY AT THE EXACT

SAME TIME.

BECAUSE TO ONE OF THOSE

GROUPS, THEY ARE TALKING OUT

THEIR ASS.

BUT DON'T TELL ME WHICH ONE,

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