Thought for Food - Responsible Snacking & Second Breakfast

  • Aired:  03/06/12
  •  | Views: 19,840

Stephen mourns the end of King-Size Snickers bars and celebrates the rising popularity of "second breakfast." (4:36)

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANKS, EVERYBODY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THEY SAY THE WAY TO A MAN'S

HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH.

BUT AFTER A CONCERTED EFFORT TO

CRAM MEAT THROUGH MY BELLY

BUTTON, I'M GOING BACK TO MY

MOUTH.

THIS IS THOUGHT FOR FOOD.

♪ ♪

FOLKS, I'M A CHOCOHOLIC.

THAT'S WHY I WAS SO UPSET WHEN I

SAW THIS.

>> CRITICAL NEWS TODAY FOR CANDY

BAR LOVERS.

THEY'RE MAKING THEM SMALLER.

THE MARS COMPANY HAVE SAID THEY

WILL STOP SELLING CHOCOLATE

PRODUCTS WITH MORE THAN 250

CALORIES IN THEM BY THE END OF

NEXT YEAR.

AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, MEANS NO

500-CALORIE KING-SIZE SNICKERS

OR MILKY WAY BARS.

>> Stephen: I WOULD CRY, BUT MY

TEAR DUCTS ARE CLOGGED WITH

NOUGAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ACCORDING TO THE MARS COMPANY,

THE CHANGE IS TO PROMOTE, QUOTE

"RESPONSIBLE SNACKING."

OH, GREAT.

NOW, I NEED TO SNACK

RESPONSIBLY.

CAN I GET THAT NESTLE CRUNCH

WITH BROWN RICE?

[ LAUGHTER ]

COULD I GET JUST THE IKES, WITH

THE MIKES ON THE SIDE?

AND I'LL HAVE JUST AN M.

I'M DRIVING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I DON'T WANT A SMALLER BAR.

I WANT A BAR SO BIG, THAT WHILE

I'M EATING ONE END, THE OTHER

END IS STILL ROLLING OFF THE

FACTORY LINE.

YOU DON'T BUY IT -- YOU GET A

SUBSCRIPTION.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THIS IS A SAD DAY FOR AMERICA'S

MOUTHS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I REMEMBER WHEN WE LED THE WORLD

IN SNACKS-PLORATION.

WHEN THE RUSSKIES HIT US WITH

SPUTNIK, WE HIT 'EM BACK WITH

THE TOP SECRET WHATCHAMACALLIT

PROGRAM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S

CALLED.

AND AMERICA WON THE SPACE RACE

OF TAKING UP THE MOST SPACE!

[ LAUGHTER ]

AMERICA MUST NOT RETREAT.

WE MUST CONTINUE TO DREAM OF A

FUTURE WITH FUDGE-COVERED TREATS

SO LARGE, THAT BY THE END OF THE

DECADE, AMERICA WILL PUT A MAN

ON THE MOON PIE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NEXT, FOLKS, IT'S BEEN SIX

GLORIOUS YEARS SINCE TACO BELL

ADDRESSED LATE-NIGHT HUNGER WITH

THEIR REVOLUTIONARY "FOURTH

MEAL."

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHICH, OF COURSE, FALLS BETWEEN

DINNER AND WAKING UP ON A

FOOSBALL TABLE COVERED WITH YOUR

OWN FILTH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'VE BEEN THERE.

BUT BRACE YOURSELF, FOLKS.

BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN, AMERICANS

ARE EXPANDING THEIR MEALTIME

HORIZONS.

>> DO YOU EVER GET THAT

MID-MORNING HUNGER AFTER YOU'VE

ALREADY EATEN?

WHY NOT JUST HAVE A SECOND

BREAKFAST?

EXPERTS SAY MORE ON-THE-GO

AMERICANS ARE CONSUMING MORE

MORNING CALORIES OVER SEVERAL

HOURS INSTEAD OF SITTING DOWN TO

ONE BIG BREAKFAST PLATE.

>> Stephen: FINALLY!

[ LAUGHTER ]

SECOND BREAKFAST.

FOR TOO LONG, WE'VE BEEN STUCK

WITH STRICT GOVERNMENT-APPROVED

TIME-SLOTS FOR CRAMMING THINGS

IN OUR FACE SLOTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT

I ALWAYS GET HUNGRY AFTER

BREAKFAST.

IN FACT, SOMETIMES I GET HUNGRY

DURING BREAKFAST.

I NEED SOMETHING TO TIDE ME OVER

WHILE MY FORK MOVES FROM MY EGGS

TO MY POTATOES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT

SECOND BREAKFAST IS THAT IT HAS

ROOTS IN LEGEND.

>> GENTLEMEN, WE DO NOT STOP

TILL NIGHTFALL.

>> WHAT ABOUT BREAKFAST?

>> WE'VE ALREADY HAD IT.

>> WE'VE HAD ONE, YES.

WHAT ABOUT SECOND BREAKFAST

>> Stephen: LITTLE KNOWN FACT:

IN TOLKEIN'S ORIGINAL DRAFT, THE

RINGS OF POWER WERE MADE OF

ONION.

[ LAUGHTER ]

FOLKS, LIKE COLUMBUS EATING THE

NEW WORLD, WE MUST EXPLORE NEW

VISTAS OF MEALTIME.

NOT JUST BREAKFAST, BUT SECOND

BREAKFAST POST-BREAKFAST

PRE-BRUNCH BRUNCH BR-LUNCH

LUNCH.

DINNER PREQUEL.

APPETIZERS, APPE-TEASERS,

TWILIGHT BUFFET, DINNER, SUPPER,

NOSH, FOURTH MEAL, MIDNIGHT

SNUNCH, SLEEP-BREAKFAST,

DREAM-PPETIZERS, AND PRE-DAWN

FONDUE NIGHTMARE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WOW, ALL THIS FOOD TALK IS

MAKING ME HUNGRY.

I COULD GO FOR A KING-SIZE

SNICKERS.

NO!

I'LL HAVE TO GO WITH THREE

REGULAR ONES.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Loading...