Seth Meyers

  • Aired:  11/08/11
  •  | Views: 54,569

Seth Meyers believes that "Saturday Night Live"'s Weekend Update provides an alternative for Americans unfulfilled by mainstream news options. (5:41)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY, THANKS VERY MUCH.

TONIGHT IS THE ANCHOR OF

"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S" WEEKEND

UPDATE, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR HIM

SAY "JANE, YOU IGNORANT SLUT."

PLEASE WELCOME SETH MEYERS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> WHAT WHAT A PLEASURE, I'M A

HUGE FAN.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> LISTEN, THIS INTERVIEW IS

GOING TO HAVE A HONEYMOON PERIOD

AND THEN THERE'S GOING TO BE

HAMMER TIME.

YOUR PICK, HAMMER TIME OR

HONEYMOON?

>> HONEYMOON.

>> Stephen: NO, HAMMER TIME!

THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT HAMMER

TIME.

YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE.

NO HONEYMOON.

WHAT'S YOUR ANGLE OVER THERE AT

S.N. SFLVPLT

>> OUR ANG?

>> EAST COAST IVY LEAGUE LIBERAL

ELITES.

>> OUR STAFF IS MADE UP OF....

>> Stephen: EAST COAST IVY

LEAGUE... IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL IN

>> NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY.

>> Stephen: THAT'S THE HARVARD

OF EVANSTON.

(LAUGHTER)

>> YES, THE HARVARD OF EVANSTON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> HARVARD IS THE NORTHWESTERN

OF CAMBRIDGE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: OH, REALLY.

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE DARTMOUTH

OF EASTERN MASSACHUSETTS.

(LAUGHTER)

WELL, LISTEN, HERE'S MY REAL

BEEF WITH YOU.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE A COMEDIAN.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: EVERY NIGHT-- ONCE A

WEEK--

(LAUGHTER)

YOU GO ON T.V. AND YOU TELL

JOKES ABOUT THE NEWS.

THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

DO YOU FEEL ANY RESPONSIBILITY

THAT THE YOUNG PEOPLE... PEW

RESEARCH STUDY SAYS YOUNG PEOPLE

GET THEIR NEWS FROM GUYS LIKE

YOU MORE THAN ANY OTHER PLACE.

DO YOU BEAR ANY RESPONSIBILITY?

>> WELL, YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE

SOMETIMES THE MAINSTREAM

STRAIGHT NEWS OPTION THAT

AMERICANS HAVE DON'T FULFILL

THEM AND SO....

>> Stephen: OH, WE DON'T?

>> NOT ALL OF THEM.

>> Stephen: WE DON'T, OKAY?

>> I'M SAYING IT'S SOMETIMES

NICE TO MAKE LIGHT OF THE NEWS.

>> Stephen: MAKE LIGHT.

OKAY, FAMINE IN SOMALIA, GO.

COME ON, FUNNY MAN, STARVING

CHILDREN.

TICKLE MY FUNNY BONE.

>> THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT

ARE HARDER TO MAKE FUN OF THAN

OTHERS.

THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE OFF

LIMITS.

>> Stephen: SUCH AS?

>> FAMINE IN SOMALIA.

>> Stephen: OKAY, I ACCEPT YOUR

APOLOGY.

>> I RETROACTIVELY GIVE IT.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

LET'S GET TO THE HONEYMOON

PORTION.

DID I HAMMER YOU TOO HARD?

>> I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.

>> Stephen: THEN I DIDN'T HAMMER

YOU HARD ENOUGH.

HOW IS THE SEASON DOING THIS

YEAR?

>> IT'S REALLY FUN.

>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE A SHOW

THIS WEEK?

>> WE DO, YES.

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

HERE?

>> WELL, I'M SO FLATTERED TO BE

ASKED TO COME THAT I THOUGHT I'D

TAKEN A HOUR OFF.

>> Stephen: WAIT, WE ASKED YOU?

(LAUGHTER)

>> I DIDN'T JUST SHOW UP HERE.

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE LOBBYING

ME REALLY HARD TO BE ON MY SHOW!

>> NO, I WAS TOLD THIS WAS A

FAVOR.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELL, THEN, THANK

YOU?

>> OKAY, SO IF YOU'RE HERE,

YOU'RE THE HEAD WRITER, WRITE?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: WHO'S HEAD WRITING

THE SHOW, YOU'VE GOT TO GO OVER

THERE AND MAKE SURE IT'S A FUNNY

SHOW BECAUSE IF EVERYONE SHOW

THIS YEAR IS NOT THE FUNNIEST

SHOW, SOMEONE WILL WRITE SOME

PITHY ARTICLE IN NEW YORK

MAGAZINE THAT SAYS THAT

"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IS DEAD.

YOU CAN'T RISK THAT!

IT'S TRUE.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LEAVE FOR

AN HOUR SO THAT YOU CAN SAY THIS

ALL BETTER BE FIXED BY THE TIME

I GET BACK.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: ARE YOU A TOUGH GUY?

>> SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BE A

TOUGH GUY.

>> Stephen: THIS IS YOUR 11th

YEAR.

IS THIS THE LONGEST ANYONE HAS

BEEN THERE?

>> NO, I THINK SOME PEOPLE HAVE

BEEN THERE LONGER.

I THINK DARYL HAMMOND WAS THERE

LONGER.

>> Stephen: DO YOU GET ANYTHING?

LIKE DOES LORN GIVE YOU...

>> LORNE GIVES ME HIS OLD

WATCHES WHEN HE'S DONE WITH

THEM.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S HE LIKE?

>> HE'S GREAT.

>> OKAY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: THAT'S THE NICEST

HONEYMOON GIFT....

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER HOSTD?

>> I'VE NEVER HOSTED.

>> Stephen: YOU SHOULD HOST,

MAN.

>> THANK YOU, THAT'S NOT QUITE

HOW IT WORKS.

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T NEED THOSE

OUTSIDE GUEST HOSTS!

THAT'S AN INSULT TO YOU CAST

MEMBERS.

THAT'S LIKE LORNE SAYING "YOU'RE

NOT FUNNY ENOUGH, YOU CAN'T HOST

THIS SHOW."

>> OF ALL THE LORNE I

IMPRESSIONS I'VE HEARD OVER THE

YEARS....

>> Stephen: YES?

>> THAT'S RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IT'S THE EQUATOR OF LORNE

IMPRESSIONS.

>> I'VE GOT TO WORK ON IT.

>> IT HAD A NICE BRITISH FEEL.

>> Stephen: I'VE NEVER MET THE

MAN.

WELL, OUR WORLDS DON'T CROSS.

>> NO, THEY DON'T CROSS.

PROBABLY WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN

ASKED TO HOST.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> Stephen: DO

>> DO YOU THINK YOU'D MAKE A

GOOD HOST?

>> Stephen: YOU TELL ME, YOU'RE

THE HEAD WRITER.

>> DO YOU DO CHARACTERS?

>> Stephen: YEAH, SEE?

YEAH...

>> WHO IS THAT?

WHO IS THAT?

(LAUGHTER)

SNOOP.

>> Stephen: HOLD ON.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M ROBERT DE NIRO SEE, MEH.

I RUN THE TOWN, MEH.

THAT'S MY DETIER ROE.

THAT

>> THAT'S IF DE NIRO HAD A KID

WITH THE PENGUIN.

>> Steph