Robert Mugabe's U.N. Tourism Tribute

  • Aired:  05/30/12
  •  | Views: 7,085

The World Tourism Organization honors Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe, who inspires thousands of his own people to see the world, often in the night, without even packing. (2:43)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

NATION, I TRUST WE ARE ALL UNITED IN OUR DISDAIN FOR THE UNITED NATIONS.

EVERY TIME THE MEMBERS OF THIS CLOWN SHOW BABBLE GET TOGETHER ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE, NOTHING HAPPENS.

PIE THE TIME THEY FINISH TRANSLATING "WELCOME EVERYONE"

INTO 193 LANGUAGES, IT'S TIME TO PACK IT UP AND GO CLOG MANHATTAN TRAFFIC LIKE A TURKEY IN A

TOILET BOWL.

( LAUGHTER ).

EVEN I HAVE TO HAND IT TO THEM EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WHEN THEY GET SOMETHING RIGHT, LIKE BACK

IN 2003, WHEN THEY APPOINTED LIBYA HEAD OF THE HUMAN RIGHT COUNCIL.

( LAUGHTER ).

NOW MUAMMAR WAS A PAL AND I CALLED TO CONGRATULATE HIM AND EVERYONE IN THE PALACE WAS

SCREAMING WITH JOY-- WELL,

SOMEBODY WAS SCREAMING.

AND MUAMMAR WASICAL CLING.

THE U.N. NAILED THAT ONE.

WELL, FOLKS, THE U.N. HAS DONE IT AGAIN.

YESTERDAY THE UNITED NATIONS WORLD TOURISM ORGANIZATION NAMED SWIM BAWB WAYAN STRONG MAN,

ROBERT MUGAVE,AISE GLOBAL LEADER FOR TOURISM.

WELL DONE, U.N.

MUGABE IS THE PERFECT CHOICE TO GET PEOPLE TO TRAVEL.

HIS BRUTAL REGIME HAS INSPIRED THOUSANDS OF HIS OWN PEOPLE TO GET OUT OF ZIMBABWE AND SEE THE WORLD.

OFTEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITHOUT EVEN PACKING.

NOW, FULL DISCLOSER-- WE COOWN A RACING ELEPHANT.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A WINNER AT THIS YEAR'S DERBY, YOU CANNOT GO WRONG WITH THAT'S IR-ELEPHANT.

ANYWAY, THAT'S-- ANYWAY, BOCHE,

IF YOU'RE WATCHING, AND I HOPE YOU ARE, I WANT TO GIVE YOUR NEW

TOURISM POST THE KICKOFF IT AND THE U.N. DESERVES.

JIMMY, LET'S SELL SOME PLANE TICKETS.

>> COME TO MUGABE'S ZIMBABWE,

WHERE THANKS TO 95% UNEMPLOYMENT, EVERYONE IS ON VACATION.

ENJOY SUMPTUOUS AWL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET.

GET EXERCISE RUNNING FROM GOVERNMENT SECURITY FORCES.

BE SURE NOT TO BRING YOUR CAMERAS BECAUSE THANKS TO MUGABE'S FOREIGN PRESS BAN

NOBODY CAN DOCUMENT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS HERE.

AND OF COURSE'S MACHETE'S MACHETE'S MACHETE.

WITH SO MUCH TO DO, THERE IS NO ZIMBABWE YOU CAN RESIST.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE