StePhest Colbchella '013 - Special Guest Stephen Colbert!

  • Aired:  08/06/13
  •  | Views: 537,023

Since Daft Punk is going to make a surprise appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards, the French electro-pop megastars have to cancel on Stephen. (6:05)

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS.

FRENCH ELECTRO-POP MEGASTARS

DAFT PUNK, THE ARTISTS BEHIND

THE HIT "GET LUCKY" ON THE

COLBERT REPORT, WAS SOMETHING

THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN WE

MADE THIS GRAPHIC.

UNFORTUNATELY DAFT PUNK IS NOT

HERE.

(CROWD AH-ING).

>> Stephen: SO, JIMMY, LET'S

CHANGE THAT GRAPHIC.

OKAY.

THERE YOU GO.

AND I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, FOLKS.

IT'S BEEN A BIT OF A ROUGH DAY.

HERE'S THE STORY.

IT'S A TRUE STORY.

YOU SEE, WE BOOKED CLICK AND

CLACK OVER HERE ABOUT A MONTH

AGO BUT THERE WAS A PROBLEM.

YOU SEE, THIS NETWORK IS OWNED

BY VIACOM WHICH IS ALSO THE

OWNER OF MTV, NICKELODEON AND

THE POPULAR PUP-BE-GONE LINE OF

UTHANASIA CENTERS ALTHOUGH IE

HAVE TO SAY I'M NOT SURE OF THAT

LAST ONE IS PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE.

APPARENTLY -- AND THIS IS A

DEEPLY GUARDED SECRET SO,

SHHHHHH -- DAFT PUNK ARE GOING

TO MAKE A SURPRISE APPEARANCE ON

THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS.

SPOILER ALERT.

DON'T TELL ANYBODY BECAUSE FUN

FACT, NO ONE TOLD ME UNTIL 2:00

YESTERDAY.

NOW THE HEAD OF MTV, VAN

TOFFLER, IS SAYING MTV HAD BEEN

PROMISED THE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO

ANY TELEVISION APPEARANCE BY

DAFT PUNK LEADING UP TO THE

V.M.A.'S.

DAFT PUNK SAYS NOTHING BECAUSE

THEY DON'T TALK.

BUT THEIR HANDLERS SAY THEY

NEVER PROMISED MTV ANYTHING.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

HYUNDAI GAVE ME A LOT OF MONEY,

OKAY.

A BIG CHECK.

WHICH, FUNNY STORY, I CASHED.

AND, AND IN RETURN...

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AND IN RETURN, I PROMISED THEM

THE SONG OF THE SUMMER WHICH IS

WHY THE HYUNDAI EXECUTIVES ARE

SITTING IN MY FRONT ROW RIGHT

NOW.

HI, GUYS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AS YOU CAN TELL, THEY'RE A FUN

GROUP.

SO I SAID TO MTV, LET'S REASON

HERE.

THESE DAFT PUNK GUYS ARE FRENCH.

THEY'RE NOT REALLY INTO

EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE A

MENAGE-A-SHOW AND MAYBE THEY

COULD DO US BOTH.

ALTHOUGH WORKING TWICE IN ONE

MONTH IS A LITTLE MORE THAN THE

FRENCH ARE USED TO.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NOW UNFORTUNATELY... STICK WITH

ME.

AGAIN ALL TRUE.

UNFORTUNATELY, VAN WILDER OVER

HERE WAS NOT INTO THE IDEA.

AS HE SAID IN AN EMAIL THAT WAS

FORWARDED TO ME WHICH I DON'T

REALLY HAVE THE PERMISSION TO

READ ON THE APE, SO LET'S READ

IT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

OKAY?

HE SAYS, FROM VAN TOFFLER, HEAD

OF MTV, HE SAYS, NOT SURE I CAN

HELP YOU WITH THAT ONE.

CHECKD WITH MY PEEPS.

AND THEY'RE FEELING FUNKY ON

THIS ONE.

YOU HEARD RIGHT, FOLKS.

HIS PEEPS WERE FEELING FUNKY.

AND ONCE YOUR PEEPS GET ALL

FUNKED, THERE'S NO UNFUNKING

THEM.

IF THAT FUNK SPREADS PAST THE

PEEP LEVEL, SOON YOUR BROS MIGHT

BE UNSTOKED AND THEN WHAT?

SO...

( APPLAUSE )

THE UPSHOT IS DAFT PUNK HAD TO

CHOOSE WHICH SHOW TO GO ON AND

THEY CHOSE NOT MINE.

(AUDIENCE BOOING)

>> Stephen: THAT, OF COURSE, IS

A CRUSHING DISAPPOINTMENT

BROUGHT TO YOU BY HYUNDAI.

NOW, HEY, LISTEN.

LISTEN, I'M A PROUD MEMBER OF

THE MTV FAMILY OF NETWORKS SO I

UNDERSTAND FLAN COBBLER'S

PREDICAMENT HERE.

IF DAFT PUNK WERE ON MY SHOW,

PEOPLE WOULDN'T TUNE IN TO SEE

THEM ON THE M.V.A.'S ALMOST A

MONTH FROM NOW.

THAT'S HOW MUSIC WORKS.

YOU LOVE A BAND.

YOU SEE THEM ONCE.

THEN NEVER WANT TO SEE THEM

AGAIN.

THAT'S WHY AFTER THE BEATLES

WENT ON ED SULLIVAN, THEY

DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE ERR.

I THINK RINGO ENDED UP WORKING

AS A TRAIN CONDUCTOR.

( APPLAUSE )

LISTEN, I WANT TO BE CLEAR.

I WANT TO BE CLEAR.

AS A COMPANY MAN, THE LAST THING

I WANT TO DO WAS CAUSE ANY

TROUBLE FOR THE VIDEO MUSIC

AWARDS.

AFTER ALL, THEY'RE VERY

IMPORTANT TO MTV.

IT'S THE ONE NIGHT OF THE YEAR

THEY STILL SHOW MUSIC VIDEOS.

SO INSTEAD...

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

FOLKS, INSTEAD I'M GOING TO TAKE

THE HIGH ROAD AND URGE YOU TO

WATCH DAFT PUNK ON THE V.M.

A.s SEPTEMBER 27 ON VH1 AT

9:00 p.m., 4:30 PACIFIC.

THIS YEAR HOSTED BY CHRIS BROWN.

OF COURSE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WILL

BE DUETTING WITH JAY-Z.

PERFORMANCES BY MAROON 5, ROY

BOY, DORKSHA, BABY'S BREATH,

AMBER ALERT, ROT WE'LLER

FEATURING LIL IT'LYA AND A

SPECIAL PERFORMANCE BY PAULA

DEEN AND THE E-TRADE BABY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WITH

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