Thought for Food - Bug Food Coloring, Hot-Dog-Stuffed Crust & Drugged Poultry

  • Aired:  04/17/12
  •  | Views: 27,293

Starbucks uses pulverized bugs to color frappuccinos, a British Pizza Hut introduces a meat stalkers pizza, and some chicken feed includes caffeine and Prozac. (6:08)

NATION, I HAVE A VERY DISCRIMINATING PALATE, YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT MY TASTE BUDS SAY ABOUT MEXICANS.

(LAUGHTER) THIS IS THOUGHT FOR FOOD.

NOW FIRST UP NORMALLY I LOVE STARBUCKS, ESPECIALLY THEIR STRAWBERRIES AND CROWN

FRAPPUCCINO BECAUSE IT'S DELICIOUS BLEND OF STRAWBERRIES,

MILK AND ICE WITH A SWIRL OF WHIPPED CREAM AND ABSOLUTELY NO GROUND UP BUGS IN IT.

SO I THOUGHT.

>> Reporter: STARBUCKS USES GROUND UP INSECTS TO GET THAT BRIGHT PINK COLOR.

THE BUGS COME FROM MEXICO AND SOUTH AMERICA.

THEY ARE DRIED OUT BEFORE THEY'RE GROUND UP INTO AN EXTRACT.

>> SOME VEGETARIANS, THOUGH, ARE UPSET BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT IF THEY ORDERED A SOY STRAWBERRY

FRAPPE IT WAS COMPLETELY ANIMAL FREE.

>> Stephen: NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M ALL FOR MAKING VEGETARIANS EAT A BUG.

(LAUGHTER) BUT NOW I'M EATING A BUCK.

IMAGINE WHEN I FOUND OUT COOL BLUES ARE A BERRY GATORADE WAS COLORED WITH POWDERED SMURF.

I ALMOST SMURFED MY PANTS.

NOW TO DEFEND THEIR CHOICE OF COLOR ADDITIVE STARBUCKS RELEASED THIS STATEMENT.

"WHILE THE STRAWBERRY BASE ISN'T A VEGAN PRODUCT IT HELPS US MOVE

AWAY FROM ARTIFICIAL DYES." (LAUGHTER) WELL, OKAY.

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ARTIFICIAL DYES TO COLOR YOUR STRAWBERRY

DRINKS, MAYBE THERE'S SOME KIND OF FRUIT THAT'S RED.

(LAUGHTER) AND NOW I'VE LEARNED THAT WE'VE BEEN EATING THESE BUGS FOR YEARS.

APPARENTLY THEY'RE USED IN ALL SORTS OF FOODS, INCLUDING FRUIT

CUPS, GRAPEFRUIT JUICE AND FRUIT FLY BY THE FOOT.

(LAUGHTER) SO TO KEEP BUGS OUT OF YOUR FOOD, DO WHAT I DO.

SPRAY EVERYTHING YOU EAT WITH A THICK COAT OF DEEP WOODS OFF.

IT WILL BURN.

BUT THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S WORKING.

(LAUGHTER) NEXT UP, I LOVE PIZZA HUT.

IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FOOD AT SUN GLASS HUT.

AND THE FOOD TEST PILOTS AT THE HUS ARE ALWAYS PUSHING THE CRUST ENVELOPE AND JAMMING CHEESE IN THEIR.

FOLKS, I SALUTE THEIR LATEST CREATION.

THE HOT DUG STUFFED CRUST PIZZA.

(AUDIENCE REACTS) YEAH, FORGET MEAT LOVERS PIZZA,

THIS IS MEAT STALKERS PIZZA.

(LAUGHTER) AND THEY'VE HID THE BODY IN THE CRAWL SPACE.

(LAUGHTER) NATION, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE FAN OF UNEXPECTED HOT DOGS.

(LAUGHTER) I HAVE JUST ONE PROBLEM WITH THE HOT DOG STUFFED PIZZA.

IT'S AVAILABLE ONLY IN THE U.K.

EXCUSE ME?

I THOUGHT BRITISH FOOT WAS ABOUT STUFFING THINGS INTO ANIMAL INTESTINES NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

(LAUGHTER) EVERYBODY KNOW IT IS HOT DOG IS AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE STUFFED PIZZA CRUST.

(LAUGHTER) WE MUST RECLAIM THE THRONE BY CRAMMING HOT DOGS INTO EVERY AVAILABLE WEANER-SHAPED FOOD AREA.

JAM ONE INTO A CANNOLI, PUT ONE IN A BANANA, STUFF ONE IN A YOGURT!

OR, OR, TAKE THE HOT DOG STUFFED CRUST PIZZA ONE STEP FURTHER.

HOW ABOUT STUFFING THAT DOG WITH ANOTHER PIZZA AND THAT PIZZA'S CRUST WITH ANOTHER HOT DOG AND

THAT CONTAINS ANOTHER HOT DOG EMBEDDED PIZZA AND SO ON AND SO ON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WOW.

EXPLORING THE INFINITE BOUNDARIES OF THE PIZZA HOT DOG CONTINUUM REALLY MAKES YOU THIRSTY.

I COULD GO FOR SOME HOT DOG STUFFED LEMONADE.

FINALLY, FOLKS, WHEN IT COMES TO CHICKEN, I LIKE IT DEEP FRIED AND SLATHERED IN PHARMACEUTICALS.

>> TONIGHT, FRIGHTENING NEWS ABOUT WHAT COULD BE ON YOUR DINNER TABLE.

SCIENTISTS REPORT CHICKEN FEED ON LARGE FACTORY FARMS ROUTINELY CONTAIN CAFFEINE BANNED

ANTIBIOTICS WITH SOME OF THE SAME INGREDIENTS IN TYLENOL AND BENADRYL.

>> STUDIES FOUND THAT THINGS LIKE ARSENIC AND PROZAC ARE IN SOME POULTRY PRODUCTS.

>> Stephen: NOW WE KNOW WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD.

TO GET TO HIS DEALER.

(LAUGHTER) EVIDENTLY POULTRY FARMS GIVE CHICKEN CAFFEINE TO KEEP THEM

AWAKE SO THEY CAN EAT MORE AND PROZAC TO REDUCE ANXIETY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY CHICKENS ARE ANXIOUS ABOUT LIVING IN A SHOE BOX SIZED CAGE WITH THOUSANDS OF

THEIR CLOSEST FRIENDS EATING ALL DAY AND WALLOWING IN THEIR OWN FILTH.

I LOVED COLLEGE.

(LAUGHTER) NO SURPRISE...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) NO SURPRISE, FOLKS SO LOCO VORS OUT THERETO ARE ALARMED THAT

TRACES OF THESE DRUGS MAY STILL BE IN THE CHICKEN WE EAT.

I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.

I ASSUME BECAUSE MY CHICKEN CONTAINS A FAIR AMOUNT OF PROZAC.

(LAUGHTER) SO LET ME TAKE YOU THROUGH MY NEW WEEKLY PILL REGIMEN.

OKAY?

(LAUGHTER) MONDAY RIGHT HERE I'VE GOT MY XANAX NUGGETS.

THE STRONGEST DARK MEAT YOU CAN GET WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION.

(LAUGHTER) TUESDAY I'VE GOT MY BLAZEEN BUFFALO BENADRYL WHICH I DIP

INTO WEDNESDAY'S HIDDEN VALLEY ROBE US THE SEINE.

THURSDAY I'VE GOT MY LIPITOR IT FROM AT THE A WHICH KEEPS MY BLOOD PRESSURE LOW ENOUGH TO

HAVE ANOTHER IT FROM AT THE A AND FRIDAY NIGHT I'VE GOT K.F.

CIALIS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THE CHICKEN MAY BE BONELESS, BUT YO