God's Message to Pat Robertson

  • Aired:  01/05/12
  •  | Views: 49,254

Pat Robertson plays Twenty Questions with God and finds out that the only way to save America is through overwhelming prayer. (6:02)

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH,

EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK.

NATION T IS NO SECRET THAT I

AM A HUGE FAN OF

TELEVANGELIST PAT ROBERTSON.

I WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF THE

700 CLUB, OVER A BIG PLATE

OF PAT ROBERTSON'S AGE

DEFYING PRO TEEN PANCAKES.

AND FOLKS, THEY WORK.

MY PANCAKES HAVE NEVER

LOOKED YOUNGER.

GOT TO HEAT THAT UP.

OKAY.

AND I AM CLEARLY NOT PAST

ONLY-- PAT'S ONLY FAN.

SO IS YAHWEH H GOD.

>> I SPENT THE BETTER PART

OF A WEEK IN PRAYER AND JUST

SAYING GOD, SHOW ME

SOMETHING.

AND I WILL SHARE WITH YOU

SOME THINGS I WILL SHARE

WITH YOU.

I THINK HE SHOWED ME ABOUT,

THE NEXT PRESIDENT BUT I'M

NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT

THAT SO I WILL LEAVE NEW THE

DARK.

>> PROBABLY JUST AS WELL.

>> PROBABLY JUST AS WELL.

BUT I THINK I KNOW WHO IT'S

GOING TO BE.

>> Stephen: IT'S PROBABLY

JUST AS WELL HE DOESN'T TELL

US WHO THE NEXT PRESIDENT IS

GOING TO BE.

CLEARLY WHOEVER GOD PICKED

IT'S GOING TO BE RIDICULOUS.

I'M GUESSING THE NEXT

PRESIDENT IS EITHER A POWDER

PUFF GIRL% DISPENSER OR JON

LUNTZMAN.

BUT FOLKS--

(APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: .

>> Stephen: JUST AS WELL.

BUT THAT WASN'T GOD'S ONLY

MESSAGE TO PAT.

>> THE LORD SAID A TIME OF

MAXIMUM STRESS AND PERIL

THIS COUNTRY WILL BEGIN

DISINTEGRATING SO I'M SAYING,

GOD, LET ME GIVE YOU SOME,

SOME SUGGESTIONS AND YOU

TELL ME IF ANY OF THEM ARE

RIGHT.

>> Stephen: OH, IT'S LIKE 20

QUESTIONS BUT WITH THE TEN

PLAGUES.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S PLAY.

>> IS IT A MASSIVE POWER

FAILURE.

NO.

>> Stephen: OKAY, I WON'T

NEED THIS, THEN.

GO ON.

>> IS IT IRANIAN OR NORTH OF

KOREA NUCLEAR THREAT.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: GREAT, OKAY.

WELL THEN GREAT, I CAN-- I

CAN SELL THIS BACK TO GLENN

BECK.

(LAUGHTER)

NEXT.

>> IS IT THE MYAN GALAXY

ALIGNING.

>> NO IT'S NOT THAT

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: OH, OH, IT'S

NOT?

OH, WELL, THEN THANK

QUETZACOATL.

ANYTHING ELSE?

>> WHAT IS IT?

IT'S AN ECONOMIC COLLAPSE

AND GOD SAID AND I QUOTE-- .

>> Stephen: WHOA,

WHOA-- HE'S ABOUT TO REVEAL

THE WORD OF GOD, BROTHER

THEODOSIUS, ARE YOU READY.

>> NOS ID FACIAMUS.

>> Stephen: JIM?

>> AND GOD SAID AND I QUOTE,

THIS IS NOT MY JUDGEMENT,

THEY ARE BRINGING IT UPON

THEMSELVES.

YOUR COUNTRY WILL BE TORN

APART BY INTERNAL STRESS.

YOUR PRESIDENT HOLDS A

RADICAL VIEW OF THE

DIRECTION OF YOUR COUNTRY

WHICH IS AT ODDS WITH THE

MAJORITY.

EXPECT CHAOS AND PARALYSIS.

THIS IS A SPIRITUAL BATTLE

WHICH CAN ONLY BE WON BY

OVERWHELMING PRAYER.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

SO ONLY WAY TO SAVE AMERICA

IS OVERWHELMING PRAYER.

GOT IT.

LOOKS LIKE I HAVE TO STEP UP

AND HELP THE BIG GUY OUT.

FIRST, FIRST I AM GOING TO

NEED MY LUCKY PRAYER HAT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW WHAT, WAIT, YOU

KNOW WHAT, THIS ISN'T QUITE

OVERWHELMING ENOUGH.

I'M GOING TO NEED MY PRAYER

SOME BRAERO.

OR SOME-PRAYER-O.

>> AND OF COURSE MY GIANT

FOAM PRAYER HAND AND TO

REALLY OVERWHELM GOD, BOYS,

BRING OUT THE SACKS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: MOST SPEAKER

GOES TO TEN.

THESE GO TO EL HEAVEN.

DEAR LORD.

>> CAN WE TAKE THAT DOWN A

NOTCH.

>> THANK YOU.

>> DEAR LORD, WE HAVE HEARD

YOU SPEAK THROUGH YOUR PAT

PUPPET

(LAUGHTER)

AND WE MORTALS ARE HEARTLY

SORRY WE ELECTED BARACK

OBAMA.

HELP US DEFEAT HIM IN 2012.

ALTHOUGH PAT SAYS YOU

ALREADY KNOWS WHAT'S GOING

TO HAPPEN SO EITHER THIS

PRAYER HAS ALREADY WORKED OR

IT HASN'T, WHICH MEANS IT IS

EITHER UNNECESSARY OR

POINTLESS.

OR AND ONE MORE THING, LORD,

WHY DID YOU TELL PAT

ROBERTSON.

I'M NOT COMPLAINING, BUT

WHAT ABOUT ME?

IS THERE SOME SORT OF NEXT

PRESIDENT PHONE TREE I CAN

GET ORNTION YOU KNOW, LIKE

IN CASES OF SNOW DAY.

ANYWAY IF IT'S SOMETHING

I'VE DONE OTHER THAN THAT,

YOU KNOW, THAT THING I TRY

TO STOP DOING, I'M SORRY.

AMEN.

JESUS NUMBER ONE.

WHOOO

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THAT OUGHT TO DO

IT AND PAT, THE NEXT TIME

YOU HAVE GOD ON THE LINE,

REMEMBER HE'S A LOT LIKE

YOUR VIEWERS.

REALLY OLD AND TRUSTING.

SO HIT HIM UP FOR SOME CASH.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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