Ride for the Constitution

  • Aired:  10/09/13
  •  | Views: 66,069

Barack Obama holds another hour-long press conference on the government shutdown, and angry truckers head to Washington to clog the Capital Beltway. (4:51)

>> Stephen: HEY!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")WHOO!

WHOO!

WELCOME TO THE "REPORT,"EVERYBODY!

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US INHERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE

WORLD.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, AS YOU KNOW IT IS DAY

NINE OF THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWNAND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: NO

NEWS IS GOOD NEWS -- SO -- GOODNEWS.

(LAUGHTER)YESTERDAY OBAMA ACTUALLY HELD

ANOTHER HOUR-LONG PRESSCONFERENCE TO SAY ONCE AGAIN HE

WON'T NEGOTIATE.

SO SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER HAD HISOWN PRESS CONFERENCE.

>> THE CENTRAL ARGUMENT IS THIS:ARE WE GOING TO SIT DOWN AND

HAVE A CONVERSATION OR AREN'TWE?

THERE'S NO REASON TO MAKE ITMORE DIFFICULT TO BRING PEOPLE

TO THE TABLE.

THERE'S NO PWOUPB REIS HERE.

THERE'S NOTHING ON THE TABLE,THERE'S NOTHING OFF THE TABLE.

>> Stephen: THAT IS A LEADERWITH A CLEAR GOAL!

"I WANT A TABLE!"(LAUGHTER)

BUT -- BUT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT WHILE THERE'S BEEN NO

MOVEMENT IN D.C., THERE ISN'TMOVEMENT TOWARDS D.C.

>> ANGRY TRUCKERS HEADED TOWASHINGTON, D.C. AS PART OF A

THREE-DAY PROTEST CALLED "THETRUCKERS' RIDE FOR THE

CONSTITUTION."

IT'S EXPECTED TO TIE UP THREELANES OF TRAFFIC AROUND I-495

AROUND THE NATION'S CAPITAL.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT,TRUCKERS ARE PLEDGING TO DRIVE

AROUND THE BELTWAY FOR THREEDAYS IN WHAT THEY'RE CALLED

"RIDE FOR THE CONSTITUTION."

AND THEN, PRESUMABLY, POPDEXEDRINE FOR THE DECLARATION OF

INDEPENDENCE.

(LAUGHTER)AND PEE INTO GATORADE BOTTLES

FOR THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NOW, FOLKS, I OF ALL THE PEOPLE

OUT THERE I GET THESE GUYSBECAUSE THEY GET ME!

IN FACT, THEY'VE GOT ME ON THEIRWEB SITE.

(LAUGHTER)THEY'RE USING THIS ACTUAL

PAINTING CALLED "STEPHEN COLBERTATOP AN EAGLE" BY ARTIST JASON

HEUSER.

I BELIEVE IT'S PAINT BY NUMBERAND THAT NUMBER U.S.A. NUMBER

ONE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?

WELL, AS EXPLAINED BY RIDE FORTHE CONSTITUTION'S LEADER

COUNTRY ZINGER ZEEDA ANDREWS,THEY HAVE A SIMPLE EASILY

ATTAINED GOAL.

>> UM, WE -- WHAT WE WANT IS WEWANT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

STATES REMOVED FROM OFFICE.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL BE SOIMMOBILIZED BY THE D.C. TRAFFIC

JAM THAT HE WILL HAVE NO CHOICEBUT TO RESIGN.

I MEAN, REALLY!

WHAT OPTION DOES HE HAVE?

FLY OVER IT IN SOME KIND OFGYROSCOPIC SKY-CAR?

(LAUGHTER)MARK MY WORDS -- MARK MY WORDS,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

OR BETTER YET, MARK THE WORDS OFSPOKES TRUCKER PETER SANTILLI.

>> PUT A HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLEOUT ON THE ROAD WITH TRUCK

DRIVERS LAWFULLY,CONSTITUTIONALLY, THERE WILL BE

LITERALLY THE LARGEST TRAFFICJAM IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND AS

FAR AS WE'RE CONCERNED.

IT'S GOT THAT POTENTIAL.

>> YOU HEARD THEM SAY A HUNDREDMILLION.

THEY'RE GOING TO START SMALLER.

THEY'RE GOING TO START WITH3,000 ARRIVING IN D.C. ON FRIDAY

MORNING.

>> Stephen: YEAH, 3,000 FRIDAYMORNING.

BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON A HUNDREDMILLION.

(LAUGHTER)YOU'VE GOT TO RAMP UP.

FOLKS, LET ME GET OUT MY OLDC.B. RADIO AND PUT MY EARS ON.

(LAUGHTER)ALL RIGHT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ALL RIGHT, BREAKER BREAKER 1-9,

THIS IS BIG DADDY TRUCK NUTSHERE COME ON BACK.

I WANT EVERY FREIGHT SHAKER,COAL BUCKET AND WIGGLE WAGON

THROUGHOUT TO ROLL ON BULL CITYFRIDAY FOR A THREE-LANE BRAKE

CHECK UNTIL WE DELIVER ATRUCKLOAD OF KENYA BACK TO HIS

HOME 1020.

ALSO DING-DONG ON THE FLIPPITYFLOP DROP TWO OVER EASY AND PUT

SOME SEA COVERS ON TOAD THE WETSPROCKET.

THIS IS BIG DADDY TRUCK NUTSOVER AND OUT, COME ON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NATION, I SALUTE THESE TRUCKERS

FOR TAKING THE EXTRA STEP TOMAKE CONGRESSIONAL GRIDLOCK INTO

ACTUAL GRIDLOCK.

(LAUGHTER)AND I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN ALL

FOLLOW IN THEIR MUD FLAPS.

JUST AS THEY ARE, DO WHAT YOU DOBUT DO IN THE A WAY THAT

INCONVENIENCES THOUSANDS OFOTHERS.

(LAUGHTER)AND TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE THINGS

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