Scott Pelley's First CBS Broadcast

  • Aired:  06/07/11
  •  | Views: 51,728

Just two hours after Anthony Weiner's joint press conference, Scott Pelley starts his first broadcast with the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. (2:51)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

THAT YOU CAN FOR JOINING US.

FOLKS, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.

PLEASE, LISTEN, FOLKS, YOU KNOW,

PEOPLE MAY CALL ME

OLD-FASHIONED, BUT TO ME THE

REAL NEWS ORGANIZATIONS ARE THE

BIG FOUR-- CBS, NBC, ABC, AND

MEBC.

(LAUGHTER)

AND AS TOP NEWS DOG OUT THERE, I

LOOK AFTER THE REST OF THE PACK.

I GIVE HELPFUL ADVICE TO THE

ON-CAMERA TALENT.

NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW THIS, BUT

I'M THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THAT

SAM DONALDSON REPLACE HIS

EYEBROWS WITH MUSKRATS.

(LAUGHTER)

MAKES HIM SEEM MORE TRUSTWORTHY

THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW, KATIE COURIC JUST LEFT

THE "CBS EVENING NEWS" ANCHOR

CHAIR TO OPEN, I BELIEVE A STORM

DOOR COMPANY.

(LAUGHTER)

AND LAST NIGHT I TUNED IN TO THE

VERY FIRST BROADCAST OF THE NEW

CBS ANCHOR ANDER IS WHICH YOU

ARERY 21 REALTOR SCOTT PELLEY.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I'VE GOT TO SAY, HIS FIRST

BROADCAST WAS A DISASTER!

JUST TWO HOURS AFTER CONGRESSMAN

ANTHONY WEINER'S HISTORIC JOINT

PERES CONFERENCE WITH HIS JOINT.

(LAUGHTER)

SCOTT PELLEY LED THE NEWS WITH

THIS.

>> GOOD EVENING.

WE START TONIGHT WITH THE WARS

IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ.

>> Stephen: WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)

DID YOU GO TO JOURNALISM SCHOOL,

PELLEY?

REMEMBER THE FIVE Ws-- WHO,

WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, AND WANG!

(LAUGHTER)

AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ, REALLY?

IT'S CALLED THE NEWS BECAUSE

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE NEW.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'VE GOT THE REST OF YOUR

CAREER TO COVER THOSE WARS.

THEY'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

(LAUGHTER)

OTHER THAN OUT OF THE PUBLIC'S

CONSCIOUSNESS.

TAKE A PAGE FROM YOUR

ESTABLISHED COLLEAGUES WHO,

UNLIKE YOU, KNOW HOW TO LEAD A

NEWS BROADCAST.

>> GOOD EVENING, THE AGE OF

OVERSHARING HAS CLAIMED ANOTHER

VICTIM.

>> FIRST, CONGRESSMAN ANTHONY

WEINER IMPLODES.

>> LEADING OFF TONIGHT, YOU GOT

IT, IT GETS WORSE, MUCH WORSE.

>> I'M ELIOT SPITZER, WELCOME TO

THE PROGRAM.

(LAUGHTER)

TODAY CONGRESSMAN ANTHONY WEINER

HELD A PRESS CONFERENCE.

>> Stephen: FOR THE LOVE OF

GOD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THE ONE PERSON, THE ONE PERSON

IN THE WORLD WHO DOESN'T WANT TO

REMIND ANYONE ABOUT POLITICIANS'

PENISES LED WITH WEINER.

WHICH IS WHAT GOT HIM INTO

TROUBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

AND WHY HIS COVERAGE WAS CALLED

"THIS TIME IT WASN'T

Loading...