Innocent Tourist Mistake

  • Aired:  08/12/13
  •  | Views: 21,210

An American tourist snaps the finger off a 600-year-old Italian statue while trying to compare hand size. (2:55)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY!

FOLKS IT'S VACATION SEASON AND I

HATE TO ADMIT THIS BUT I HATE

WHEN T WAY AMERICANS ARE

PERCEIVED WHEN VISITING THE OLD

COUNTRY.

I WANT THOSE FILTHY GARLIC

EATERS TO LIKE US.

(LAUGHTER)

NATURALLY, I WAS UPSET TO LEARN

THAT ITALIANS WERE THROWING A

HISSSY FIT ABOUT AN INNOCENT

MISTAKE AT ONE OF THEIR MUSEUMS.

>> AS IF AMERICAN TOURISTS

DIDN'T HAVE A BAD REPUTATION

ALREADY, NOW THERE IS THIS.

A MISSOURI MAN TRAVELING IN

ITALY ACCIDENTALLY SNAPPED THE

FINGER OFF A 600-YEAR-OLD

STATUE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

AN AMERICAN TOURIST IN HOT

WATER.

THEY'RE KNOCKING A FINGER OFF A

600-YEAR-OLD STATUE AT A MUSEUM

IN FLORENCE.

>> PART OF THE STORY IS IS TO

REPAIR THE DAMAGED FINGER.

>> Stephen: ITALY, IF YOUR

RESTORERS NEED A MODEL FOR THAT

FINGER, I GOT ONE RIGHT HERE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHO CARES IF A 600-YEAR-OLD

STATUE'S FINGER SNAPPED OFF?

JUST REPLACE IT WITH ONE OF

ITALY'S FAMED UNLIMITED BREAD

STICKS.

(LAUGHTER)

OR HAVE WE FORGOTTEN

HOSPITALIANO?

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, IF ANYONE IS TO BLAME FOR

THIS IT IS THE STAT STAT STAT,

FOR ONE THING, WHAT IS AN OPERA

MUSEUM DOING WITH STATUES?

EVERYONE IS CALLING THIS A

PRICELESS ART WORK, SO WHAT'S

THE BIG DEAL?

IF IT'S TREE, JUST GET ANOTHER

ONE.

(LAUGHTER)

NATURALLY THE MUSEUM'S DIRECTOR

BLAMES THE TOURIST SAYING "IN A

GLOBALIZED ECONOMY --"

(LAUGHTER)

HAITI MAMA!

NORMALLY, YOU DON'T TOUCH THE

WORKS BUT LOOK AT THE STATUE.

THE GUY'S BEEN WAITING FOR A

HIGH FIVE SINCE THE 1400s!

YOU CANNOT LEAVE A BRO HANGING!

BESIDES, THE AMERICAN TOURIST

HAD A PERFECTLY GOOD

EXPLANATION.

>> ACCORDING TO REPORT, THE MAN

WAS MEASURING THE FINGER AND

COMPARING IT TO HIS OWN HAND

WHEN HE ACCIDENTALLY BROKE THE

WORK OF ART.

>> Stephen: YES, THAT IS THE

WHOLE REASON MUSEUMS EXIST: SO

YOU CAN COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE

ART.

THAT'S WHY THE FIRST TIME I SAW

MIKE LANG LOW'S DAVID I DROPPED

TROU CRAWLED UP THERE --

(LAUGHTER)

DID A LITTLE SIDE-BY-SIDE

COMPARISON.

AND I DON'T WANT TO SHOCK ANYONE

BUT --

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I DON'T WANT TO SHOCK ANYONE.

LET'S JUST SAY HE MET THE REAL

GOLIATH.

(LAUGHTER)

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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