History Channel's "The Bible"

  • Aired:  03/25/13
  •  | Views: 74,474

Former "Touched by an Angel" star Roma Downey plays the Virgin Mary in "The Bible" miniseries, which she produced with her husband Mark Burnett. (4:18)

FOLKS, TALKING ABOUT THE JESUS.

FLOOFORT FOUR WEEKS -- FOR THE LAST FOUR YEARS -- GOD I HOPE THAT WASN'T JESUS I WAS ABOUT TO

THE HIT.

[LAUGHTER]

FOR THE LAST FOUR WEEKS, WE'VE BEEN GLUED TO THE HISTORY CHANNEL'S FIVE-PART MINI SERIES

"THE BIBLE." AND MINI SERIES IS APPROPRIATE, I THINK BECAUSE THE WORD OF GOD DOESN'T REALLY HAVE THE LEGS TO

SUSTAIN AN ENTIRE SERIES LIKE THE HISTORY CHANNEL'S "BIG SHRIMPIN." WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THE SEASON

FINALE COMING WHEN THEY CAUGHT MORE SHRIMP?

[LAUGHTER]

NOW "THE BIBLE" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY AMERICA'S PREEMINENT THEE LOGICAL SCHOLARS SURVIVOR

PRODUCER MARK BURNETT AND HIS WIFE FORMER TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL STAR ROMA DOWNEY WHO ALSO PLAYS

THE VIRGIN MARY.

I WONDER WHO SHE HAD TO SLEEP WITH TO GET THAT PART?

NOBODY!

IT'S CALLED THE IMMACULATE AUDITION.

THIS IS HUGE.

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T TAKE IT FROM ME, FOLKS.

THIS IS HOW HUGE IT IS.

TAKE IT FROM THE MAN WHO WROTE THE BIBLE, MARK BURNETT.

>> IN 2013 IT'S PUT FRESHNESS OF LIFE TO THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD.

MILLIONS WILL OPEN THE BIBLE OR REOPEN IT.

MAYBE A BILLION.

>> A BILLION NEW PEOPLE WILL OPEN THE BIBLE.

>> I'M A BLUNT PERSON AND TO BE HONEST WITH YOU A BILLION IS A LOW NUMBER.

>> Stephen: A BILLION IS A WAY LOW NUMBER BECAUSE AS THE BIBLE SAYS PRIDE COMEth BEFORE GIANT

TV RATINGS.

IF YOU ENJOY WATCHING "THE BIBLE" YOU WANT TO EXPLORE THE SOURCE MATERIAL.

I SPEAK, OF COURSE, OF THE STORY OF GOD AND ALL OF US A NOVEL BASED ON THE EPIC TV SERIES "THE

BIBLE." ALL THE BIBLICAL STORIES YOU LOVED FROM THE SERIES FINALLY ASSEMBLED INTO ONE BOOK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

BUT AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE BIBLE, I DO HAVE ONE BEEF, A BEEFCAKE JESUS.

JESUS MAKES HIS FIRST APPEARANCE IN THIS MINI SERIES THIS COMING SUNDAY COX BE A RATINGS BONANZA.

>> SURE.

>> BIRTH OF JESUS, HIS BAPTISM AND I'LL REMAIN FROM MAKE ANY COMMENTS ABOUT JESUS' HUNKY APPEARANCE.

>> A GOOD-LOOKING JESUS.

>> Stephen: YES, THEIR JESUS IS WAY TOO HOT.

IT IS NOT PROJECT HOLINESS WHEN YOU CANNOT LOOK AT HIM WITHOUT SAYING GODDAMN!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MORE IMPORTANTLY --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MORE IMPORTANTLY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO RELATE TO A JESUS THAT SUFFERED ALL THAT WE SUFFERED.

HE DOESN'T KNOW OUR PAIN.

HE IS BEING PLAYED BY DIOGO MORGADO A PORTEES STAR AND MODEL.

WE WANT A JEEZ YUCK LIKE US WITH A GROWING WAIST LANE AND REDUCED HAIRLINE.

WE WANT A JESUS WHO SPENDS LESS TIME WALKING ON WATER AND MORE TIME SITTING IN A BABY POOL

DRINKING FRANZIA.

MARK BURNETT THERE'S ONE EPISODE LEFT.

LOSE THE MODEL AND GIVING YOU THE SHLUBBY BROKEN DOWN JESUS WE CAN IDENTIFY WITH.

BECAUSE I LIKE TO THIS THINK THAT THE REAL REASON IS THERE'S ONLY ONE SET OF FOOTPRINTS IN

THE SAND IS BECAUSE JESUS DOESN'T GO TO THE BEACH.

HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE TO TAKE HIS SHIRT

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