Herman Cain's Electrified Fence

  • Aired:  10/18/11
  •  | Views: 77,969

Herman Cain is joking about the deadly, electrified U.S.-Mexico border fence -- unless Americans are into the idea, in which case he means it. (5:12)

>> Stephen: MOVING ON.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

LET'S JUST FREE BALL IT, JIMMY.

JUST WHIP UP SOME GRAPHICS AS I

TALK AND I'LL COME UP WITH

SOMETHING.

NATION, THANKS TO THE LOCKOUT,

THERE MIGHT NOT BE A BASKETBALL

SEASON THIS YEAR.

BUT IF YOU WANT TO WATCH

MILLIONAIRES THROWING ELBOWS,

THERE'S STILL THE REPUBLICAN

PRESIDENTIAL RACE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND, FOLKS, IT IS ACTION-PACKED.

FIRST, BACHMANN WAS UP; THEN SHE

WAS DOWN.

THEN PERRY WAS UP; THEN HE WAS

DOWN.

THEN JON HUNTSMAN ALSO EXISTED.

(LAUGHTER)

SO MANY CHARACTERS, SO MANY

TWISTS.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S LIKE A MEXICAN TELENOVELLA

THAT WANTS TO DEPORT ITSELF.

AND JUST LIKE ANY TELENOVELLA,

WATCH OUT FOR EL DIOS PADRE DELL

PIZZA.

>> HERMAN CAIN IS NOW THE

REPUBLICAN FRONT-RUNNER FOR

PRESIDENT ACCORDING TO THE

LATEST NATIONAL POLL.

>> HERMAN CAIN HAS SURGED TO THE

LEAD IN THE RACE FOR THE

REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL

NOMINATION.

>> TAKE A QUICK LOOK AT THIS

NBC/"WALL STREET JOURNAL" POLL.

IT SHOWS HERMAN CAIN IS ON TOP

AT 27%.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

HERMAN CAIN IS AHEAD WITH 27%.

AS OPPOSED TO NEWT GINGRICH WHO

IS 27% HEAD.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW FOLKS, THERE ARE MANY

REASONS WHY CAIN IS SURGING.

LIKE HIS GREAT GRASP OF FOREIGN

POLICY.

>> I'M READY FOR THE GOTCHA

QUESTIONS AND WHEN THEY ASK ME

WHO'S THE QUESTION OF UZBEK,

STAN I'M GOING TO SAY "I DON'T

KNOW, 40 DOUGH KNOW?

HOW'S THAT GOING TO CREATE ONE

JOB.

>> Stephen: IT WON'T CREATE ONE

JOB BECAUSE THEY'LL ALL BEEN

OUTSTORED TO UZBEKY-STAN-STAN

LAND.

AND I HOPE HERMAN CAIN DID NOT

OFFEND THEIR PRESIDENT

CHOP-A-LOP-A.

(LAUGHTER)

SEEN HERE WITH CHINESE PREMIER

CHING CHONG DING-DONG.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE IS

CAIN'S FAMOUS 999 ECONOMIC PLAN.

EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT IT.

>> 9999% CORPORATE BUSINESS FLAT

TAX, 9% PERSONAL INCOME FLAS TAX

AND 9% NATIONAL SALES TAX.

>> 999.

>> 999.

>> 999.

>> 999.

>> NEIN

NEIN!

NEIN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FOLKS, ALL CAIN IS SAYING IS

HITLER HAD SOME GOOD IDEAS.

(LAUGHTER)

TAX POLICY.

OF COURSE NOW THAT CAIN'S IN THE

LEAD, THE LAME STREAM GANGRENE

MR. CLEAN MARTIN SHEEN MEDIA HAS

BEEN JUMPING ON HIM OVER THESE

REMARKS HE MADE IN TENNESSEE

OVER THE WEEKEND.

>> LET'S HAVE A REAL FENCE!

20 FEET HIGH WITH BARBED WIRE.

ELECTRIFIED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WITH A SIGN FROM THE OTHER SIDE

THAT SAYS "IT CAN KILL YOU."

THEN I GET CRITICIZED MR. CAIN,

THAT'S INSENSITIVE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN INSENSITIVE?

>> Stephen: YEAH!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN INSENSITIVE?

BUT IF IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL

BETTER, WE'LL GENERATE THE

LETHAL VOLTAGE WITH WIND POWER.

IS THAT SENSITIVE ENOUGH.

BESIDES, CAIN DIDN'T EVEN MEAN

IT.

AS HE EXPLAINED ON PRESS

McGREGORY.

>> ON IMMIGRATION YOU SAID?

AN EVENT IN TENNESSEE YOU WOULD

BUILD AN ELECTRIFIED FENCE ON

THE BOARDER THAT COULD KILL

PEOPLE IF THEY TRY TO CROSS

ILLEGALLY.

>> THAT'S A JOKE.

>> IT'S A JOKE?

>> THAT WAS A JOKE.

>> THAT'S NOT A SERIOUS

QUESTION?

>> THAT'S NOT A SERIOUS PLAN.

>> YOU GOT A BIG LAUGH OUT OF

THAT.

>> IT'S A JOKE.

>> Stephen: ELECTRIFIED FENCE,

CLASSIC JOKE.

(LAUGHTER)

LIKE "WHO'S ON FIRST?

WHAT'S ON FIRE?

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE

IT'S KILLED."

(LAUGHTER)

BUT THE REAL PUNCH LINE, THE

REAL PUNCH LINE TO THE JOKE IS

THAT IT'S NOT A JOKE.

AS CAIN CLARIFYED IN PHOENIX THE

NEXT DAY.

>> IT MIGHT BE ELECTRIFIED.

I'M NOT WALKING AWAY FROM THAT.

IN THE CONTEXT OF THAT SPEECH,

IN TERMS OF WHAT WE NEED TO DO I

FULLY INTEND TO DO SO.

>> Stephen: YES, YOU SEE, HE'S

JOKING UNLESS YOU'RE INTO THE

IDEA.

(LAUGHTER)

IN WHICH CASE HE MEANS IT.

IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU SAY TO YOUR

GIRLFRIEND "HEY, YOUR OLD

COLLEGE FRIEND DONNA IS CRAZY

AND SO MUCH FUN, SWRESHD A

THREE-WAY."

(LAUGHTER)

"I WAS JOKING!

WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?

STOP CRYING!

HEY, I KNOW WHAT WOULD CHEER YOU

UP.

HOW ABOUT WE DO SOME COKE LIKE

WE USED TO DO BACK IN THE DAY!

IT'S A JOKE!

I DON'T WANT TO DO COCAINE!

UNLESS MAYBE DONNA HAS SOME."

(LAUGHTER)

ANYWAY... ANYWAY, TODAY THE

COLBERT SUPERPAC OFFICIALLY

ENDORSED HERMAN CAIN FOR

PRESIDENT!

... UNLESS YOU'RE NOT INTO HIM

IN WHICH CASE I'M JUST