Jobs Bill Clipgate

  • Aired:  09/14/11
  •  | Views: 39,447

If Barack Obama really believed in his jobs bill, he should have presented it in a leather-bound volume with gold filigree and illuminated initials. (3:03)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE

REPORT."

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANK YOU.

[audience chanting "stephen"]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

IT IS...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

THAT IS GOOD.

THAT IS GOOD.

GOOD.

FOLKS, PLEASE, WE'VE GOT TO GET

TO THE NEWS.

NATION, UNFORTUNATELY IT HAS

BEEN...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

NATION, IT HAS BEEN TWO DAYS

SINCE PRESIDENT OBAMA INFLICTED

HIS JOBS BILL ON AMERICA.

NOW, I KNOW THIS PLAN IS

TERRIBLE, BUT I ALSO KNOW IT'S

200 PAGES LONG.

SO I DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S

TERRIBLE.

[LAUGHTER]

LUCKILY THE FRIENDLY FRIENDS AT

FOX AND FRIENDS PUT THEIR

RESEARCH TEAM ON THE CASE, AND

THEY ZEROED IN ON THE FATAL

FLAW.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA'S JOBS BILL

HOT OFF THE PRESSES.

>> AT KINKO'S?

HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS IN TAX

HIKES AND NEW SPENDING BOUND

TOGETHER WITH A CHINTZY CLIP.

LOOK AT THAT THING.

>> Stephen: YEAH, LOOK AT THAT

CHINTZY CLIP.

HE COULDN'T EVEN ASK AN INTERN

FOR A DUO-TANG, WHICH, IT'S

IMPORTANT TO NOTE, DOES NOT MEAN

THE SAME THING IT DID WHEN

CLINTON ASKED INTERNS FOR A

DUO-TANG.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

AND IN CASE YOU MISSED THE "FOX

AND FRIENDS" IN DEPTH ANALYSIS,

DO NOT WORRY, IT WAS ALL OVER

THE NEWS.

JIM?

>> COME ON, THIS IS YOUR JOBS

BILL.

THAT DESERVES A LARGE, SHINY

BINDER.

INSTEAD IT'S WITH A LITTLE CLIP.

>> WE NEED THE GOOD ONE FROM

KINKO'S, RIGHT?

>> Stephen: I'LL TELL YOU,

FOLKS, THE STORY OF CLIP-GATE IS

SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE ALL THE

WAY FROM FOX NEWS STUDIO E TO

FOX NEWS STUDIO J, BUT IT'S NOT

JUST FOX NEWS, FOLKS, THIS STORY

HAS BEEN PICKED UP ALL ACROSS

THINGS RUPERT MURDOCH OWNS, LIKE

YESTERDAY'S "NEW YORK POST"

"OGIVES JOBS CLIP SERVICE.

TACK HIKE PLAN BOUND BY CHINTZY

FASTENER."

YEAH, WHY SO CHINTZY?

IF HE REALLY BELIEVED IN THIS

BILL, HE SHOULD HAVE PRESENTED

IT IN A LEATHER-BOUND VOLUME

WITH GOLD FILIGREE AND

ILLUMINATED NISHES SO THE

REPUBLICANS HAVE SOMETHING

PRESENTABLE TO DISMISS BEFORE

THEY EVER LOOK AT IT.

PLUS, PLUS, IF THE PRESIDENT WAS

SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING AMERICANS

WORKING, HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN

THAT CLIPPED JOB TO AN

UNEMPLOYED PERSON.

[LAUGHTER]

PROXIMATE

[APPLAUSE]

ALL RI

Loading...