Bill Clinton's Twitter Lessons

  • Aired:  04/24/13
  •  | Views: 52,772

Since Twitter is the Jell-O of human expression, President Clinton decides to launch his account, @BillClinton, and he take some pointers from Stephen. (8:20)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

OF COURSE, I'M NOT SURPRISED BY

THE POWER OF TWITTER.

I MEAN, I HAVE BEEN TWEETING FOR

YEARS AT STEPHEN AT HOME.

AND BEING A MASTER, I RECENTLY

FOUND A YOUNG PADAWAN TO TWAIN

IN THE WAYS OF THE TWITTER.

JIM?

>> I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF OPENING

YOU A TWITTER ACCOUNT.

PRESIDENT CLINTON WAS TAKEN.

WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON WAS

TAKEN.

BUT PREZBILLY JEFF WAS

AVAILABLE.

>> JUST SPENT AMAZING TIME WITH

COLBERT.

IS HE SANE?

HE IS COOL.

>> Stephen: FOLKS, THIS IS ONE

OF THOSE MOMENTS WE WILL LOOK

BACK ON AND SAY, "THAT ALTERED

THE COURSE OF HUMAN HISTORY."

LIKE MAN DISCOVERING FIRE, THE

VOYAGE OF COLUMBUS OR THE

UNKNOWN GENIUS WHO SAW A TACO

AND THOUGHT, "WHAT IF THIS WAS

CHOCO?"

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

AND, FOLKS, SINCE THAT HISTORIC

FIRST TWEET, THE NUMBER OF AT

PREZBILLY JEFF'S TWEETS HAS

ROCKETED TO STILL JUST THAT ONE

TWEET.

I MEAN, COME ON!

WHAT IS UP?

COME ON, P.B.J., YOU HAVE TO

CAPITALIZE ON THE TWEET-MENTUM.

IF YOU DON'T USE IT, YOU'LL LOSE

IT.

JUST LIKE THE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE

SO FULL OF IT.

IT'S GRAY.

IT'S WHATEVER.

HEAD MEAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M JUST GOING TO REMIND HIM TO

TWEET BY TWEETING HIM ON

TWITTER.

OKAY.

HERE WE GO.

AT PREZBILLY JEFF.

MISSED YOU SUNDAY AT MY GAME OF

THRONES PARTY.

ALSO, WHY NO TWEETS?

HASH TAG: DRAGONS ARE REAL.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NOW, I'LL CHECK BACK LATER

TONIGHT TO SEE IF HE'S

RESPONDED.

OH, HE'S ALREADY TWEETED ME

BACK.

LET'S SEE.

SORRY I COULDN'T MAKE IT AT

STEVEN AT HOME.

I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH AT CLINTON

FOUNDATION WORK ON GLOBAL

HEALTH.

THURSDAY IS HASH TAG WORLD

MALARIA DAY, YOU KNOW, HASH TAG

RAIN CHECK.

WOW.

THURSDAY IS WORLD MALARIA DAY.

AND I DIDN'T GET IT ANYTHING.

ALL RIGHT.

I KNOW HOW TO GET HIM TO TWEET

MORE.

I WILL TRY AT CHELSEA CLINTON.

OKAY.

HERE WE GO.

CHEL, CHEL, COLB, COLB, PLEASE

TELL AT PREZBILLY JEFF TO TWEET

MORE.

HAPPY TO TUTOR HIM ANY TIME.

THANKS, YOU ARE GR-EIGHT.

SIDE WAYS HEART.

HASH TAG CAN I CALL YOU CHEL,

CHEL?

AND TWEET.

NOW, FOLKS, HOPEFULLY.

OH, GOSH.

IT'S FROM HER.

AT STEPHEN AT HOME, I'LL CALL

HIM AND ASK BUT HE'S VERY BUSY.

HASH TAG DAD'S STILL TRYING TO

SAVE THE WORLD.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT?

CALL HIM?

LIKE WITH A PHONE?

OKAY, GRANDMA.

YOU SEE, THE THING YOUNG PEOPLE

LIKE ME UNDERSTAND ABOUT TWITTER

IS THAT... OOO, IT'S FROM AT

PREZBILLY JEFF.

JUST GOT A CALL FROM CHELSEA

READY TO START TWITTER LESSONS

TONIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

AT PREZBILLY JEFF NOW IS NOT

GREAT.

HASH TAG I'M DOING MY SHOW.

AND LET'S SEE.

>> WELL, ACTUALLY, STEPHEN, I'M

FREE RIGHT NOW.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: PRESIDENT BILL

CLINTON, EVERYBODY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

ME.

>> I WANT TO THANK YOU, STEPHEN,

FORGETTING ME STARTED ON

TWITTER.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME, SIR.

THANKS FOR THE COLBERT BUMP AT

PREZBILLY JEFF ALREADY HAS

170,000 FOLLOWERS.

THAT'S BIG.

I MEAN I HAVE ALMOST FIVE

MILLION FOLLOWERS BUT WHO IS

COUNTING?

>> SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE.

tephen: YOU BET I AM.

IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, WHY

HAVEN'T YOU TWEETED MORE?

>> WELL, STEPHEN, I'M NOT SURE I

HAVE ROOM IN MY SCHEDULE TO

TWEET.

>> Stephen: SIR, THERE IS ALWAYS

ROOM FOR TWITTER.

IT'S THE JELLO OF HUMAN

EXPRESSION.

YOU CAN DO IT DURING ANY DOWN

TIME LIKE WHEN YOU'RE STANDING

IN LINE AT THE BANK OR WHEN

YOU'RE WAITING AT A DRIVE

THROUGH OR WHEN YOU'RE GOING

THROUGH SECURITY AT THE AIRPORT.

AND AS I'M SAYING THIS, I

REALIZE NONE OF THESE THINGS

APPLY TO YOU, DO THEY?

>> NOT REALLY, NO.

Stephen: OKAY.

WELL, REGARDLESS.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET ON THERE.

BUT A WARNING, MR. PRESIDENT.

YOU MAY HAVE BEEN THE LEADER OF

THE FREE WORLD BUT TWITTER HAS

ITS OWN SUPER POWERS.

FOR INSTANCE, THIS IS JUSTIN

BIEBER.

>> YOU KNOW, I'VE ACTUALLY MET

JUSTIN BIEBER.

HE SEEM LIKE A NICE YOUNG MAN.

>> Stephen: DON'T LET THE

ANGELIC FACE FOOL YOU.

HE'S LIKE KIM JUNG-UN BUT WITH A

MORE FAN AT CAL FAN BASE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THERE'S YOUR KIM, YOUR COURTNEY,

CHRIS, KUR BUNGLE, KRISPY KREME.

>> STEPHEN, I APPRECIATE ALL

THIS BUT I DON'T THINK I'LL

TWEET A LOT OF CELEBRITIES.

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE WORK IN

MY FOUNDATION AND THE WORK IN

HEALTH CARE AND REDUCING GLOBAL

WARMING AND PROMOTING ECONOMIC

GROWTH.

>> Stephen: I'VE HEARD THAT

STUFF TOO.

MY ISSUE IS WORLD HUNGER.

I ADDRESS THAT MOSTLY BY

TWEETING INSTA GRAMS OF MY

BREAKFAST WITH HASH TAG.

BY THE WAY, SIR, DO YOU KNOW

ABOUT HASH TAGS.

>> GREAT.

Stephen: LET ME TELL YOU

ABOUT THEM.

HASH TAGS ARE AMAZING.

YOU JUST SMOOSH TOGETHER A

COUPLE OF WORDS, PUT A POUND

SIGN IN FRONT OF IT AND SUDDENLY

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE PART OF A

WORLDWIDE MOMENT.

>> ACTUALLY I AM PART OF A

WORLDWIDE MOVEMENT.

>> Stephen: YEAH, IT'S CALLED

TWITTER.

FROM NOW ON, HISTORY WILL

REMEMBER YOU AS AT PREZBILLY

JEFF.

CONGRATULATIONS SIR.

>> NOW ABOUT THAT NAME.

I KIND OF WISH YOU HAD PICKED

SOMETHING JUST A TAD MORE

DIGNIFIED, SOMETHING LIKE AT

BILL CLINTON, FOR INSTANCE.

>> Stephen: SIR, I TRIED TO GET

AT BILL CLINTON BUT SOME JERK

ALREADY TOOK IT.

IF I EVER FIND OUT WHO, I SWEAR,

I AM GOING TO JUST...

>> I TOOK IT.

Stephen: ... TELL HIM HE IS A

GREAT STATESMAN AND A GREAT

AMERICAN.

>> YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN PLANNING

ON LAUNCHING MY TWITTER PAGE FOR

QUITE A WHILE.

NOW THAT YOU'VE PRIMED THE PUMP

I'M REALLY READY TO GO.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

SO, NATION, IF YOU'RE FOLLOWING

AT PREZBILLY JEFF, SWITCH OVER

TO THE NEW HANDLE AT BILL

CLINTON.

IN FACT, SIR, YOU KNOW, YOU MAY

HAVE ALMOST 5 MILLION FOLLOWERS

BUT I DON'T FOLLOW ANYONE.

BUT TONIGHT I WILL START

FOLLOWING YOU RIGHT NOW.

>> THANKS, STEPHEN.

I NEED IT.

>> Stephen: YES, YOU DO.

NOW, LET'S MAKE HISTORY.

WITH YOUR HISTORIC SECOND FIRST

TWEET.

>> YOU'VE GOT IT.

EXCITED.

TO JOIN AT CHELSEA CLINTON AND

MY GOOD FRIEND AT STEPHEN AT

HOME.

ON TWITTER.

I DID IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: YOU DID IT.

CONGRATULATIONS, SIR.

>> THANKS, STEPHEN.

Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME, SIR.

ANY TIME.

PRESIDENT AT BILL CLINTON,

EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BAC